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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

badly behaved toddler at Slimming World

149 replies

lindsayincroydon · 29/11/2019 14:55

I go to Slimming World on Friday mornings, and I am finding it really good for losing weight. Our team leader is inspirational, and I love my meeting being in the morning and just around the corner from where I live.
The problem is this: there is a toddler aged about 2 and a half and he is very noisy during the lecture. I am deaf in one ear and when he is stomping around creating havoc, I cannot hear what the team leader is saying.
His mother takes no notice of him, in fact she smiles at him as though he is doing something cute.
I don't know if I should say that I have paid good money to attend the meeting, and it is not a mother and toddler group, but a serious group where other members are trying very hard to lose weight.
What do other people think? Should I say something?
thanks

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 29/11/2019 16:32

I'd sit at the front and speak to the leader. Do you wear a hearing aid?

On a seperate note I've never heard slimming world group referred to as lectures and a serious group,

tillytrotter1 · 29/11/2019 16:41

Yet another mummy who thinks that the whole world is impressed by her off-spring! They need to realise that their child is only remarkable to them and they shouldn't be allowed to ruin an adult activity.

SoupDragon · 29/11/2019 16:47

Or maybe chill out a bit?

What a ridiculous thing to say. It's a meeting for adults.

Slimming World is meant to be relaxed and enjoyable

And a toddler running around being noisy' stomping and causing havoc is neither of those things.

SoupDragon · 29/11/2019 16:48

OP, I would speak to the leader.

Happygoldfinch · 29/11/2019 16:50

Not everyone has able or even willing baby sitters.
This isn't an excuse to let your toddler ruin other people's experiences of a club they have paid money to join. I wouldn't dream of taking a noisy child somewhere if I couldn't find a babysitter! What right do I have to let my misfortune impact on others?

AlexaAmbidextra · 29/11/2019 16:53

I was invited to give a brief talk to a SW group as they had raised money for the charity I worked for. They were very welcoming and I stood up to begin. Except there was a toddler running riot and he got louder and louder. I was raising my voice to be heard over him but I eventually stopped mid-sentence and just stood there. The group started to shush him and eventually the mother was forced to actually claim him and make an attempt to distract him. In the end she took him out. She did it with very bad grace but I got the impression that the rest of the group was rather pleased.

Ellie56 · 29/11/2019 16:59

I've got impaired hearing too and this would drive me nuts! Hearing aids amplify everything including noisy toddlers. The evening class will probably suit you better OP.

Coyoacan · 29/11/2019 17:11

If you do complain, stress that it is because of your deafness, OP.

Geekster1963 · 29/11/2019 17:15

Yes YANBU in that children can be too noisy sometimes, but I've been a parent with a two year old at a slimming world group. I went to a Friday morning group as I couldn't go to the evening groups with her. I always did my best to keep her quiet but it wasn't easy.

I doubt slimming world would ban children as I'm sure they get a lot of business from new Mum's.

ukgift2016 · 29/11/2019 17:18

My daughter is deaf in one ear so I have empathy for you.

I am a single mum and would never think to bring a toddler to an event like that. It is totally inconsiderate behaviour from the mother.

Devereux1 · 29/11/2019 17:22

It's a shame OP that you are going to move the times you go to avoid the toddler.

Have a word with the team leader. You pay your money, you have the right to receive the service, hear what is being said, and not be distracted by a 2 year old whose parent is failing in their duty.

DefConOne · 29/11/2019 17:32

YANBU. I stopped going to SW partly because of this. I’ve served my time in toddler groups and don’t want to be distracted by their noise on my day off. Evenings are just as bad.

Billben · 29/11/2019 17:33

I’m with you OP. I can’t stand other people’s kids ruining things for others.

Molly2010 · 29/11/2019 17:36

YANBU the parent is.
Talk to the leader, I’d be amazed if others didn’t feel the same.

Tattooedmama · 29/11/2019 17:37

Juliejones22 - obviously posters are not reading your comment when you said thats thr reason you no longer attend, and calling a 20 month old badly behaved? Ffs Hmm dont listen to the perfect parents who have perfectly behaved 1 year olds
I have a 23 month old and he would be exactly the same if i went to a group

Yetanotherwinter · 29/11/2019 17:37

I wouldn’t be happy to be paying money for a service and then being unable to hear. The consultant should speak to mum and tell her to either keep the child quiet or don’t bother coming. It’s probably pissing off other members too but they don’t want to say.

BackforGood · 29/11/2019 17:43

I would definitely talk to the Leader about it.
Whether you hope that she will say the other person can't bring their toddler, or whether you leave - it would be useful to the Leader to know what is putting some people off her Group.

She might even potentially want to run two groups - one where dc are not allowed, and there may well be a market for SW for parents of toddlers ?? ou could be doing her a favour by letting her know.

JulieJones22 · 29/11/2019 17:44

@Tattooedmama I know. Badly behaved. What the actual fuck?

LolaSmiles · 29/11/2019 17:50

dont listen to the perfect parents who have perfectly behaved 1 year olds I have a 23 month old and he would be exactly the same if i went to a group
Nobody is saying their children are perfect.
Seriously why is that the default response to anyone commenting on adults who allow their children to disrupt? Hmm

Everyone knows what 1-2 year olds are like. They aren't expecting perfect quiet. They are expecting that when a child is being noisy in a setting not appropriate for lots of noise that the parent actually does something.

Threads like this highlight exactly how some kids end up thinking the world is their playground, because their parents can't get their head around the idea that the pub / cafe / shop etc isn't their child's play area where they can run and scream as they like.

Pinkpowerranger1988 · 29/11/2019 17:52

I think it's the parents that are badly behaved, rather than the toddlers - if my DD behaved like that I took her out, even if it meant me missing some of the WW meeting. I don't see why my lack of babysitter should impact on other's enjoyment of the meeting.

JulieJones22 · 29/11/2019 17:53
  • Nobody is saying their children are perfect. Seriously why is that the default response to anyone commenting on adults who allow their children to disrupt?*

Because people on here are saying children who don’t sit still and be quiet are badly behaved and their parents aren’t “parenting” them.

madcatladyforever · 29/11/2019 17:55

I wouldn't go to a group where a toddler was allowed to run amok, The group isn't for kids, it's for adults trying to lose weight.
I'd talk to the group leader and go to a different one of her groups, maybe an evening one.
Some mothers are bloody irresponsible.

LolaSmiles · 29/11/2019 17:59

Because people on here are saying children who don’t sit still and be quiet are badly behaved and their parents aren’t “parenting” them.
If a parent stays put watching their child run around a group when others are trying to listening then they are not parenting their child. If they sit and smile / encourage their child displaying that behaviour / does that half arsed "DC be quiet" but does nothing else then they are not being responsible and are reinforcing the behaviour.

If a child fusses or is a bit noisy and the parent actually does something to help them settle a little and doesnt just smile along then they're doing something to quietening them down.

At the end of the day, not all places are for kids, most people wouldn't have an issue with the odd but of quiet baby/toddler noise from a parent who was being considerate

Tattooedmama · 29/11/2019 18:02

Because if you look at the comment about her 20 month old being badly behaved, is exactly where my comment has came from. Judging by the replies they didnt read that she NO LONGER attends for that reason

FrancisCrawford · 29/11/2019 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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