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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

badly behaved toddler at Slimming World

149 replies

lindsayincroydon · 29/11/2019 14:55

I go to Slimming World on Friday mornings, and I am finding it really good for losing weight. Our team leader is inspirational, and I love my meeting being in the morning and just around the corner from where I live.
The problem is this: there is a toddler aged about 2 and a half and he is very noisy during the lecture. I am deaf in one ear and when he is stomping around creating havoc, I cannot hear what the team leader is saying.
His mother takes no notice of him, in fact she smiles at him as though he is doing something cute.
I don't know if I should say that I have paid good money to attend the meeting, and it is not a mother and toddler group, but a serious group where other members are trying very hard to lose weight.
What do other people think? Should I say something?
thanks

OP posts:
Raspberrytruffle · 29/11/2019 15:32

At our meetings children are welcome provided they are quiet and that we keep them occupied usually given crayons etc. Yanbu

LolaSmiles · 29/11/2019 15:33

I wouldn’t say it’s bad behaviour. It’s just a 2 year old being well a 2 year old. They are noisy. He’s not going to sit bolt right with impeccable manners and consideration, is he
If only people were suggesting he should be sitting bolt upright and perfectly silent and attentive...

The "kids being kids" seems to be a well used phrase to dismiss rude behaviour where some parents make zero attempt to parent, and allow/encourage disruptive behaviour from their children (the same people who let their kids run around shops and Costa and thinks it's kids being kids).

Nobody expects perfectly behaved children. They do expect people to settle or try to settle their child where the situation requires it.

Dolorabelle · 29/11/2019 15:35

My son is 20 months old and runs round causing havoc and I can't do anything about it. He does what he wants

Really ??

OP - have a word with the group leader.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 29/11/2019 15:38

Gosh YANBU, I would hate that. Never did SW, did WW years ago, but I wouldn’t have gone if there had been children running around.

JulieJones22 · 29/11/2019 15:39

@Dolorabelle yes, really. Have you ever tried to make a toddler stay still and be quiet?

ChristmasbloodyChristmas · 29/11/2019 15:42

@JulieJones22 do you think that's OK then? People are at these groups to lose weight, not put up with someone else's badly behaved children. If he can't behave why do you take him?

JulieJones22 · 29/11/2019 15:45

@ChristmasbloodyChristmas please see that quote in context

This is why I have stopped going to WW. My son is 20 months old and runs round causing havoc and I can't do anything about it. He does what he wants. I was aware of how this must be frustrating for the other people there, so I tried to sit at the back with him, but he would then scream and squirm until I let him down off my knee. Easier to just not go sadly.

I was chasing him to keep him under control bringing toys etc. I didn't just let him run about. It's just frustrating as I can't go now. Not sure what else I can do.

Silencedwitness · 29/11/2019 15:46

I’ve had enough self awareness to distract my children or take them out. And they were autistic. The lady is paying money to attend and isn’t getting the service she’s promised. It’s about the parent respecting that not everyone wants to listen to a noisy toddler and to either take them out or take them something to do.

I’d have a quiet word with the group leader and maybe ask them to save you a seat at the front.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 29/11/2019 15:49

Lol! 2 year olds are notoriously difficult to mute, I'd never take mine to an adult group

Umm I’ve got 3 toddlers thanks and it’s really not that difficult to mute/Make my dc behave. Maybe because I’m not a rude person and respect those around me and I simply wouldn’t sit smiling at my dc why they were disturbing a group.

Original poster
lindsayincroydon · 29/11/2019 15:50

many thanks to everyone who has posted comments, it is much appreciated.
Reading your comments, I am going to try going to an evening group, and hopefully this will mean that toddlers are busy creating chaos at home instead!
By the way, I called the classes "lectures" but actually they are lots of fun and full of good information (when I can hear what is going on)!
Thanks again for your support, it has been so helpful xx

OP posts:
P1nkHeartLovesCake · 29/11/2019 15:50

My son is 20 months old and runs round causing havoc and I can't do anything about it. He does what he wants

Well here’s an idea how about you actually parent your child?

I mean come on a 20 month old doing what he wants because poor little mummy can’t do anything about it?? WTF

ScreamedAtTheMichelangelo · 29/11/2019 15:51

@lindsayincroydon Good luck! Have to say though that the group where I had the problem was an evening group. Shock

ChristmasbloodyChristmas · 29/11/2019 15:52

Good luck with your evening group OP, I found it just as bad to be honest but I don't suppose you're going to the same group I did.

JulieJones22 · 29/11/2019 15:52

@P1nkHeartLovesCake and it is people like you who just remind me why I should never comments on MN

duggeehug85 · 29/11/2019 15:55

I'd say something to the leader. I take my two and a half year old and 3 month old. My two year old watches something on my phone (horror) and my wee one sleeps or feeds. I have to take them or I couldn't attend at all. Evening is not an option as the two year old needs me to put her to bed and the baby is breastfeeding and refuses a bottle.

alliecader · 29/11/2019 16:00

I would say something to the team leader, gently and diplomatically. I had the same trouble at WeightWatchers years ago. I had been attending for months and was losing an average 2 lbs a week but because of the disruption I stopped going and now I'm heavier than ever. I wish I had said something rather than just giving up.
I would also say I disagree with the notion that you should lighten up and accept it as you are paying good money to receive the best support possible. You can and should have a friendly atmosphere, but this is disruption - quite a different thing. You are doing something really important - getting healthier for yourself and your family. Don't let other people's bad manners derail you. Best of luck!

Dixiechickonhols · 29/11/2019 16:02

I’d message leader. If the group otherwise suits why leave and she’s self employed I’m sure she wants to know why people are leaving. I’d mention your hearing too so she is aware. At my group they asked me to look after a new man with hearing issues as the room has awful acoustics so he didn’t miss out. I’m an evening weigh. Odd well behaved child there or baby in car seat but if babies cry the parent takes them out. Good luck
I’ve lost 5 stone this year on SlimmingWorld now maintaining at target.

Nannewnannew · 29/11/2019 16:02

Oh yes, I went to WW last year and there were several toddlers there who caused mayhem. Only one mother tried to entertain her child, the others just ran wild and made it impossible to hear by running on the stage. Things got worse during the school holidays as obviously the older brothers and sisters came too! I left eventually.
Glad OP that you’ve found an evening class to attend. Good luck.

Dixiechickonhols · 29/11/2019 16:08

By lecture op means the talk by the leader not a telling off. Usually info on new products, recipes, hints and tips for better options eg recently they’ve talked about food at Christmas markets and the coffee shop special drinks to avoid. Other members chip in and I can imagine it’s difficult to follow with a noisy toddler there.

Dolorabelle · 29/11/2019 16:13

Have you ever tried to make a toddler stay still and be quiet?

Of course. It can be a challenge but I'm the parent. I would never say I just cannot stop a child doing something which is harmful or intensely irritating to others, as in the OP's case.

You could try being a parent. Because otherwise you're in danger of raising the kind of entitled man-child so many women on MN are trying to be freed from.

Actionhasmagic · 29/11/2019 16:14

Another vote for telling team leader about your hearing

RexDangerVest · 29/11/2019 16:20

Eat him

florriepeck · 29/11/2019 16:21

I would speak to the Consultant and let her deal with it.
The distraction would put me off attending that group; she could lose members by not controlling the situation.

JulieJones22 · 29/11/2019 16:26

Of course. It can be a challenge but I'm the parent. I would never say I just cannot stop a child doing something which is harmful or intensely irritating to others, as in the OP's case.

You could try being a parent. Because otherwise you're in danger of raising the kind of entitled man-child so many women on MN are trying to be freed from.

Please tell me exactly how you get a toddler to sit still and be quiet? Toys don't work, books don't work, they just want to run about. They laugh when you tell them no and are chasing after them. You pick them up and they screech because they want down.

This is why I don't go to WW any more, because I couldn't get him to sit still and be quiet.

I think some people on this thread are living on another planet. I agree that the meetings are for everyone, people should be able to enjoy the meeting. Please do not tell people like myself - Mums to toddlers - that they are not parenting their child or parenting them badly because their child doesn't sit still and be quiet is just bloody nasty. Get some empathy please.

OP, I'd hope that the mum at your group would be horrified to learn that her child was affecting other members enjoyment of their meeting.

rainbowvalley17 · 29/11/2019 16:27

Or maybe chill out a bit? Slimming World is meant to be relaxed and enjoyable, a serious group having lectures sounds miserable!

Where did the op say she wanted it all serious. Just wants to hear it.