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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be furious at my children being described like this

254 replies

spacepyramid · 28/11/2019 20:49

Apparently they are 'ill-raised, ignorant and aggressive' because I am a single parent.

All I can say is I am extremely proud of them for overcoming my apparent short comings as a parent and achieving so much despite it.

OP posts:
smw15 · 29/11/2019 17:55

I'm a SP of two children too. Are they exempt from this decription because it was caused by death?

Amanduh · 29/11/2019 17:55

To be fair

the “modern British male is useless” and criticised working class men as “likely to be drunk, criminal, aimless, feckless and hopeless, and perhaps claiming to suffer from low self-esteem brought on by unemployment”.

Is absolutelt spot on about 90% of men women come on AIBU to complain about...

Lweji · 29/11/2019 18:03

I was going to write a longish reply all scathing of Johnson, but that's just a drop in the ocean of stupid gems he's said over the years and that are in contradiction to his actions and later decisions.
Hardly worth getting an eyebrow raised, IMO.

Charlottejbt · 29/11/2019 18:03

How anybody can have an Oxford degree and remain so thick is beyond me.

That kind of crassness, misogyny and - above all - poor-bashing was absolutely de rigeur at Oxford when that article was published, and I doubt most of those individuals are much more enlightened in middle age than they were as undergrads. Mr Johnson is only saying what most of his caste are thinking, not to mention the ordinary people who for some reason identify with them.

If the Tories get back in after what's happened in the last ten years, there'll be nothing in Britain worth salvaging.

Devereux1 · 29/11/2019 18:05

I've skimmed through the responses, which are either outraged, or know someone who is a lovely child of a single parent, but I haven't found any that say why they are disgusted by his article.

Forgive me if someone has shown why. So, why?

Charlottejbt · 29/11/2019 18:06

De rigueur even. (Can you believe I live in France?) Blush

FAQs · 29/11/2019 18:08

Not a Boris fan here, I’m a single parent, have you read the whole article and what it is in response to?

RatherBeFlying · 29/11/2019 18:09

What a prize he is.

tiggertogger · 29/11/2019 18:09

If you read the whole article without taking it desperately personally you may find you agree with some of the sentiment. Generalisations are unhelpful but a useful literary tool for articles that are designed to be conversation starters/thought provokers. If you think about society and the various demographics, can you see some of what he means? Probably not, you're too busy being professionally offended.

FeckaDecka · 29/11/2019 18:09

He's on point. The majority are but he didn't mention yours personally.

Tensixtysix · 29/11/2019 18:09

Wasn't this back in 1995. Most people seemed to think that back then as they thought certain young mothers only got pregnant for a council house.

Celestine70 · 29/11/2019 18:10

Loathsome. Anyone who voted for him does not have the best interests of the country at heart.

Rosebel · 29/11/2019 18:15

So I assume you hold the same views as you did 25 years ago? Even if you do it doesn't mean other people can't change. There is no evidence to say if his views have changed or not but you don't know they haven't. Just for the record I hate Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn equally and think they're both idiots but am sick to death of hearing about who did/said this and that in the past. How about we just concentrate on the present? Or is that just too simple?

Bluebuddha10 · 29/11/2019 18:25

I am also a single parent - it wasnt by choice but that's how things ended up for me. I have worked incredibly hard to raise my kids to be decent human beings as well as always working myself. I am incredibly proud of my children, they are doing very well and more importantly are much more caring and non judgemental than the current idiot of a prime minister we have

zarek · 29/11/2019 18:33

This guy is seriously bad and there must be something wrong with the nations health or our democracy that he is Prime Minister. I wouldn't have thought something like this could happen, before Trump anyway. The world is bonkers.

GrouchoMrx · 29/11/2019 18:38

Bluntness100 Thu 28-Nov-19 21:03:32
Blimey having to dig deep now. 🤣

Bluntness, you seem to be swilling stronger vodka by the day GrinGrinGrin

Charlottejbt · 29/11/2019 18:42

...People seemed to think that back then as they thought certain young mothers only got pregnant for a council house.

Off topic, but how sad is it that getting a council house now seems like something from a far-off golden age?

I knew a few young mums like that, except that none of them got pregnant on purpose, most were conscientous parents and none of them "ruined their lives", contrary to the standard refrain about teenage mothers.

FAQs · 29/11/2019 18:42

@Awwlookatmybabyspider you’re not actually far off from what’s Redwood was suggesting at the time prompting the Boris response.

Redwood, (it’s too long to put into too much detail) was considering removing benefits of young single parents unless the father moved back in and took responsibility.

The other proposal was if family couldn’t help he suggested the child was adopted in a forced adoption.

Boris wrote in a rather sarcastic, ego statistical, superior manner but did actually challenge this in the article and said the men were also to blame and were, as someone quoted previously, drunk and feckless etc etc and by taking away benefits or the children it wouldn’t work. And it was a horse has already bolted response.

He suggested the woman had a crap life with no role models or aspirations and saw having a child to love them as their only option for love and a home, when really they should be wanting more and they shouldn’t rely on the useless fathers, of the children and the state as their only option.

He did say some awful things in the article such as suggesting the Victorians might have had it correct.

In the 90s teenage pregnancies rates were really high and they ended up bringing in a back in work program. Although this had been around a while Blair then set up programmes to assist.

He also said the fathers needed to ‘be men’ head the household, get jobs marry and stop being so feckless.

Anyway it’s a lot more in depth than I write and the added value to the politics needs to considered when reading the article.

Charlottejbt · 29/11/2019 18:44

Generalisations are unhelpful but a useful literary tool for articles that are designed to be conversation starters/thought provokers.

Has anyone found an actual use for the "literary tool" that is Mr Johnson?

Devereux1 · 29/11/2019 18:45

@Celestine70
Loathsome

What was exactly?

SusieOwl4 · 29/11/2019 19:18

does the use of extreme language on these posts make your point any more valid?

Its all opinions nothing else - mainly from people who have not met him and not read the full articles and most of the time are calling men worse things than he did on this forum everyday .

you are a load of hypocrites . IMO(:.

I cant stand Corbyn - but I would never use the language used in these posts .

user1493997854 · 29/11/2019 19:20

He is a vile nasty excuse for a human being. I don't care if he said it 25 years ago or 25 minutes ago, it just shows what an entitled hypocrite he is Angry and I just hope people do the right thing on December 12th and get him out!

mathanxiety · 29/11/2019 19:25

Blimey having to dig deep now.

No, this comment is on the record, and Boris Johnson is trying to get re-elected. Since he is a member in good standing of his party, the comments are open to scrutiny because of the implication that his party finds no issue with the opinions he expressed. In fact, they are so comfortable with the opinions exactly as expressed that he is Prime Minister.

I agree with FAQ's analysis of the context, but Johnson offered himself up on a plate with many of his columns.

If the remarks of Corbyn on the NI situation can be used by the Tories as ammo against him then it's perfectly fine to shone a spotlight on Johnson's comments and ponder their implications.

Lucky for the Opposition that he seemed to be able to flit from one well-paying newspaper job to another (while also engaging in affairs with several women and holding down various day jobs too - quite the Renaissance man..) and has therefore left a nice cache of opinions to mine.

Opinions like these comments on the problems of the British economy from a few years ago...

The Telegraph headline of 12 May 2013 read, Quitting the EU won't solve our problems, says Boris Johnson

...Mr Johnson says that he supports legislation backing a referendum – but warns that Britain’s problems will not be solved by simply leaving the EU as many of his Conservative colleagues apparently believe.

“If we left the EU, we would end this sterile debate, and we would have to recognise that most of our problems are not caused by “Bwussels”, but by chronic British short-termism, inadequate management, sloth, low skills, a culture of easy gratification and underinvestment in both human and physical capital and infrastructure,” the London Mayor says.

Obviously the man is a hypocrite and a political charlatan, but in amongst all the Upper Class Twittery there is sometimes a little kernel of insight.

Livelovebehappy · 29/11/2019 19:27

Agree susieowl but unfortunately some are so blinded and frothing at the mouth at the prospect of Boris getting into power that they can’t control their anger. And usually people who resort to just using awful language aren’t capable of rational debate, so react by throwing onto the thread the worst language they can think of for affect, but without contributing anything meaningful.

CactusAndCacti · 29/11/2019 19:32

How anybody can have an Oxford degree and remain so thick is beyond me.

Now, I think Boris is actually very clever, he just hides it behind his bumbling act and uses his intelligence in a dangerous manner.