to think this is not normal behaviour for a 9 year old?

[Yolo89]

I just picked DD up to take to a class and she is very tired from a trip to the hospital for DS last night. So tired and emotional. I didnt have as many snacks for her as usual and she wanted me to go the shop. But I had 4 other children in tow so said no. I must tell you that she still had food left - apple etc but she did not want it yet was saying she was starving. I held my ground but she yelled at me and kicked me multiple times.

Every time I take her and her friends to an after school activity, she has a meltdown like this. It is usually about not wanting to go to the activity but it always is very stressful for me.

I ended up in tears today. All the other children just walk but never my DD. If another mum walks her, obviously she is fine but never with me.

Family life is tough at the moment as DH has issues with depression and alcohol and I feel this is greatly affecting my DD. She said today 'I want to die'. I have never heard this before and I am greatly concerned.

I feel like this is very far from normal behaviour and am very worried. What should I do?

I

Oh Yolo I recognise everything you are saying. Mine did it too. If I said anything, he'd throw me some whataboutery concerning how I wasn't perfect either. If he did ever admit the issue, I wasn't allowed to talk about how it had impacted on me, because that was 'rubbing his nose in it'. It was all about him, him, him. Sadly, that is typical of the addict. They will deflect, project and attack - anything to avoid addressing their own issues.

5 days sober is nothing. Nothing. His behaviour is typical of the 'dry drunk' - someone who isn't drinking, but still exhibits all the unpalatable behaviour of the addict.

Please, please get help for yourself. You need to be around people who will help you believe that it isn't OK for you to live like this. You need and deserve support.

Well who are you going to put first?
Your dh?
Your dc?
Who needs you more?
Who is an adult and can look after themselves and get help elsewhere?
You can choose to live with his addiction or not