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AIBU?

To try to avoid an Xmas birthday for dc2?

101 replies

paintedfences · 28/11/2019 08:19

I always hear people with a Christmas birthday say how crap it was for them as a child, getting 'combined' presents and not many coming to their parties as it's such a busy time.

We're thinking of starting to TTC DC2 in Jan which, if I caught straight away and if all went well, would make DC1 just 2 when the baby was born. That's the minimum age gap we're okay with. But, I am thinking of skipping ttc in Feb/March (no known fertility issues btw) because of the potential for a Christmas birthday, because of how crap it supposedly is for them, but I'm not sure if that's silly or not!

I'd like to hear from people with Christmas born dc and how they handle it - could you just have their birthday party with all their little friends a month or two after or something? Also DC1 is early Nov so potential for jealousy is DC2's birthday party is the only one moved?

OP posts:
00100001 · 28/11/2019 08:23

i think you're over thinking it.

baby will come when baby comes.

Sparklyring · 28/11/2019 08:24

I definitely would! Christmas birthdays are awful, the person misses out so much.

GrandTheftWalrus · 28/11/2019 08:24

I fell pregnant in February found out in March and dd was born in November. So February would be a November edd .

Winterdaysarehere · 28/11/2019 08:25

Dd was due Xmas Eve. Born NYE! She is more than happy!! Over 18 prob even more so!!
Dh is 30th Dec and he hates it but his dps were rubbish and blatantly told him they kept a gift back from Xmas. Sad

00100001 · 28/11/2019 08:25

it's crap having a january birthday "too clsoe to christmas"

it's crap having a feb/mar birthday - it's too cold to go outside.
Summer birthdays are crap - your kids are the youngest in the year. or parties fall in summer holidays when no-one is around

it's crap having a sep/oct/nov birthday, it's too cold, people are saving for christmas, there's halloween, bonfire night....

SquareAsABlock · 28/11/2019 08:25

You'd skip Feb/March but not April? My April conceived child was a few hours over being born on Xmas day itself, just to warn you....

misspiggy19 · 28/11/2019 08:25

If you have no problem conceiving I would do this. Any birthday in December is overshadowed by Christmas

WaterSheep · 28/11/2019 08:26

By all means you can try for a baby whenever you want. Just remember that babies don't know your plan, and there's every chance you may have an overdue or premature baby.

paintedfences · 28/11/2019 08:26

@GrandTheftWalrus hmm, but I fell in jan and DC1 has an early Nov birthday, admittedly he was born at 42 weeks. I suppose I'm assuming dc2 would go over too. How many weeks were you?

OP posts:
GrandTheftWalrus · 28/11/2019 08:28

I was 41+1, my last period started 8th February. Due date was 9th November. I found out on 14th March. DD appeared on 17th November

paintedfences · 28/11/2019 08:28

Actually you're quite right it was February! Whoops! Grin

OP posts:
Baldcrusader · 28/11/2019 08:29

The start of January absolutely sucks. Back to work. Uni exams etc. Combined presents. Everyone is skint.

But baby arrives when baby arrives. Don't worry about it.

PowerslidePanda · 28/11/2019 08:31

My birthday is a couple of days before Christmas and my own experiences of it wouldn't put me off having a December baby. I can't remember ever having poor attendance at my birthday parties. Not many people did the "one present for both events" thing (for those who did, the sentiment was reciprocated regardless of when their birthday was - it soon got the point across!) However, my parents did give me the option of choosing to combine the two in order to get a present that otherwise would have been too expensive, e.g. the year I got a laptop. I also loved that I never had to go to school on my birthday!

squashyhat · 28/11/2019 08:33

Christmas birthdays are not awful - just different. This year will be my 59th. I like that it makes me a bit 'special' and is a good conversation starter at NHS appointments! When I was little my parents always made sure it was celebrated independently of Christmas, my relatives always sent seperate cards, nobody used Christmas wrapping paper for my presents and I had plenty of parties. It just required a bit more organisation. As an adult it gives me licence to ask for joint presents if I want something a bit more expensive than usual, and everyone continues to acknowledge it independently. Train your family and all will be well.

Amber2019 · 28/11/2019 08:36

I have a december birthday, its rubbish, I still got separate presents but everyone was always distracted by christmas. My youngest was born mid january. It's also a bit of a nightmare. Struggling to get him the amount I'd like because hes just got a load for christmas. He was conceived in mid april, born 3 days after his due date. I have a son born in june, concieved september and I think its the perfect birthday. I know christmas and january babies who's parents have a party in the summer, I wouldn't do that though.

WalkAwaySugarbear · 28/11/2019 08:37

If I could choose my birthday it would be in May. Starting to get warm and light etc instead of early Jan

my2bundles · 28/11/2019 08:37

As a parent with a child with a birthday round Christmas I can honestly say worry wise as a parent this isn't even on the radar.

marmitemayonnaise · 28/11/2019 08:40

If you skipped those months and then didn't fall pregnant for the rest of the year, would you regret it? Or would you rather have no baby than a December baby? I know it's not quite as black and white but I think it's a bit silly to try and plan that much. You could conceive in April/May and baby arrive early and end up with a December baby anyway.

Twickerhun · 28/11/2019 08:43

My First was born at 42 weeks, second at 37 weeks. Your best plans might not work out at all and it would be sad to be disappointed by a December born rather than approaching this as what ever happens you will make the most of in a positive way.

ShippingNews · 28/11/2019 08:45

I wouldn't overthink it. Christmas babies don't miss anything unless you let it happen. My DS was born on the 19th December - I always made sure that his birthday was special. Throughout his childhood we had his party on 19th November so his friends could come it didn't mix in with Christmas, and I never put up our decorations until after his birthday. He is an adult now and doesn't care any more, but as a child he definitely had a "special day".

MsSquiz · 28/11/2019 08:48

When DH and I were TTC, it was a running joke that I would avoid him like the plague in March so as not to get a December/Christmas baby.

We have 2 nephews and a niece, and all 3 of their birthdays are in December, as well as 3 other family members.

I am now expecting our first child and my due date is the 19th December! Grin as well as 2 other close friends both being due in December.

It's just one of those things...

Drowninginmyownsnot · 28/11/2019 08:48

I had an ex who was born on Christmas Day. He had longish hair so everyone called him Jesus.

He quite liked it 🤷‍♀️

Mammyloveswine · 28/11/2019 08:51

I conceived in April and have two very early January birthdays (4th and 9th) (just less than 2 years apart).

I was 38 weeks on Christmas Day so could easily have had Christmas Day babies.

There are no guarantees you are overthinking it.

AwkwardFucker · 28/11/2019 08:51

We have an Xmas kid and honestly it’s not a big deal. We don’t really do parties anyway (have offered, kids prefer more presents than spending the money on a party) so no need to fit it in. The one party we did do was late November.

Christmas has always been a bigger deal to us than birthdays anyway, no matter the time of year the birthday falls.

DD has never complained about having an Xmas bday.

Oranje · 28/11/2019 08:52

My daughter was born on Christmas Day, she is currently 10.

This year she wants a sleepover with 5 of her friends, so we have organised this for next Friday.

We have Grandparents in Europe so usually spend Christmas and New Year with them.

We open Birthday presents in the morning and Christmas presents later in the day and have a small party on Boxing Day for all her friends there.

I tell her that she is extremely special and that at least everyone is off on her birthday.

BTW she was due on NYE but came early.

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