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AIBU?

To try to avoid an Xmas birthday for dc2?

101 replies

paintedfences · 28/11/2019 08:19

I always hear people with a Christmas birthday say how crap it was for them as a child, getting 'combined' presents and not many coming to their parties as it's such a busy time.

We're thinking of starting to TTC DC2 in Jan which, if I caught straight away and if all went well, would make DC1 just 2 when the baby was born. That's the minimum age gap we're okay with. But, I am thinking of skipping ttc in Feb/March (no known fertility issues btw) because of the potential for a Christmas birthday, because of how crap it supposedly is for them, but I'm not sure if that's silly or not!

I'd like to hear from people with Christmas born dc and how they handle it - could you just have their birthday party with all their little friends a month or two after or something? Also DC1 is early Nov so potential for jealousy is DC2's birthday party is the only one moved?

OP posts:
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NoGuarantee · 28/11/2019 08:53

I love my 29th December birthday. Got brilliant presents when younger as could combine costs and get a much bigger present. When older, everyone is in the party season and you get to go out and have a right laugh.

You'll never be able to plan. Baby might be 6 weeks early! And like a PP said, dinner holiday birthdays have their cons, being the youngest in the school year sucks, no kids turn up for your birthday as parents forget...

There's pros and cons for all!

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Oranje · 28/11/2019 08:54

BTW my DH birthday is on 18th December (I certainly drew the short straw) :)

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areyouafraidofthedark · 28/11/2019 08:56

My youngest birthday is Christmas Eve and she loves it. Any party we throw at the start of December and always make sure she has separate gifts. Christmas Eve is about her. We start doing Christmas things around tea time and she loves that just as much. Don't worry about what date your baby could be potentially born.

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Masalatea · 28/11/2019 08:57

I had 5 days old embryos put in on 10th April and the official due date was 25th December. So I agree with PP to not worry about February too much.

Mine turned out to be twins and were born at 37 weeks in the beginning of December. They will be two next week and I think it's perfectly fine birthday. Only thing I have changed is that Christmas decorations won't go up in our house until after their birthday. Otherwise my tree would be done on the first Smile

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Themazeoflife · 28/11/2019 08:57

00100001

it's crap having a january birthday "too clsoe to christmas"

it's crap having a feb/mar birthday - it's too cold to go outside.
Summer birthdays are crap - your kids are the youngest in the year. or parties fall in summer holidays when no-one is around

it's crap having a sep/oct/nov birthday, it's too cold, people are saving for christmas, there's halloween, bonfire night....



I agree with everything binary said above

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anonnancy · 28/11/2019 09:00

I didn't even think about when baby would be born when TTC. I just wanted to have a baby so we DTD and caught straight away (very lucky I know).

I found out I was pregnant at the end of April this year and my due date is 6th Jan, OH birthday is 8th Jan! But there is talk of inducing me at 39 weeks due to horrendous, debilitating SPD so baby could potentially make an appearance anytime from 30th Dec. Or unless he chooses to come even earlier of his own accord!

I'm really not fussed as we wouldn't combine Christmas with a birthday (unless it literally was Christmas Eve / Christmas Day / Boxing Day as that is unavoidable!).

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boomboom1234 · 28/11/2019 09:02

Personally I think you are overthinking it. I would just go for it. If you get a December baby just make sure you always make there birthday a big celebration same as you do your other child. Otherwise how far do you take it? I have an August baby and a feb baby. I'm already thinking how the feb birthday seems so close to Xmas and struggling to think of pressie ideas lol. Then my August baby I feel guilty they are youngest in school year..... honestly you can't win. Just focus on getting pregnant if you want that second baby and forget the rest.

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Lilyannarose · 28/11/2019 09:09

It's not as crazy as what I did.
When ttc dc1 I avoided Sept/ Oct/ Nov and started ttc in Dec/ Jan.
Reason being I didn't want them to have a summer Birthday and be one of the younger ones in the school year!
I didn't overthink with my subsequent babies. They just came when they came.

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Bluntness100 · 28/11/2019 09:10

God, my birthday is on the 23rd dec. I love it. Never had combined presents, it's always the start of the holiday season and every one is in the mood to celebrate, everyone remembers my birthday and I've never had to go to school or work on my birthday.

Sorry I'm not getting the angst.,,

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Alwaysonarecce · 28/11/2019 09:12

No issue. December baby, his 3rd birthday party in a week, lots of rsvps as gave a month’s notice and it’s only two hours. Don’t fret.

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MoonlightBonnet · 28/11/2019 09:12

Hahahaha that there are still people who think it’s possible to plan to this extent. I’d maybe have thought like that before 5 years of fertility problems. Then when my DD was conceived, her due date meant there was a ‘risk’ she’d have a Christmas birthday. Her birthday is in October Grin. If you want a baby, try for a baby.

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bilbodog · 28/11/2019 09:13

Don't forget that although the idea of having a summer baby is lovely when they start school they will be the youngest in the class which makes a difference for some kids. However i agree in trying to avoid december/early jan - i failed miserably, my sons birthday is 1st dec (he came at 37 weeks) my birthday is 7 dec and my DDs birthday is 2 jan. So as a family it makes dec/jan very expensive and i used to have mini breakdowns every year in the run up to Christmas having to organise presents and birthday parties on top of Christmas and new year and nobody wants to celebrate with my DD on 2 jan!

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alwayscauseastir · 28/11/2019 09:17

I'm a Boxing Day baby. I was due the 20th, arrived on the 26th. I have NEVER received a joint present. Always had a well attended party on either the 26th or 27th. Now I'm older it doesn't really matter when my birthday is.

My daughter was due Jan 2nd, arrived Jan 10th. I really struggle with what to buy her with it being so close to Christmas, but I tend to just half her Christmas list and buy half for Xmas, half for birthday. Parties have always been well attended.

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schafernaker · 28/11/2019 09:18

As a parent of a preemie we have always said we will ttc when we are ready for another, not around dates. DD was due in July and born at the start of May. Babies do what they want.

And as others have mentioned. There’s good and bad about any time of year, I’m a teacher and everyone thinks we are bonkers having DD (and baby on the way) in the summer 🤷🏻‍♀️ For us it’s just what happened!

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NearlyGranny · 28/11/2019 09:19

DD2 was born Christmas Day at lunchtime! (I had resisted all sorts of pressure to agree to an unnecessary induction).

She always lit the Christmas candle in the middle of the Advent wreath at church. She got birthday presents in birthday paper and Christmas presents in Christmas paper but like both to be under the tree.

From age 6 months she had a half-birthday celebration every June 25th until she was 16 or so, which meant a summertime party, usually strawberry themed.

She did alright!

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ShinyGiratina · 28/11/2019 09:19

I have a DC just before Christmas. All the fun things are happening in school that week. He likes all the lights and decorations up. In infant school there were things like breakfast with Santa, so I kept going with the bigger parties slightly longer to get a good turn out, but we're now at the good friends stage.

Logistically, Christmas is more predictable than my other DC's April birthday which may or may not fall around Easter, so varies wildly from one year to the next.

Christmas DC is guarenteed to see family and therefore presents for his birthday. April DC, again varies from year to year.

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lampygirl · 28/11/2019 09:19

It's my birthday today. Being close to Christmas bothers me more (trivially obviously) now than it ever did as a kid. I can't go out for dinner with a group of mates to any of the generic reasonably priced places without being force-fed the Christmas menu, some places even wanted us to pre-choose from the set party menu, particularly if its a group of more than 4, though my DP can go to the same place on his October birthday and doesn't have the same problems.
Also even my mum starts asking what me and my DB's want for Xmas (I'm early 30's, but none of us have kids and I think my mum still likes gifting) about 3 weeks ago and my birthday hasn't even been round yet.

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Mijnje · 28/11/2019 09:24

We're also planning to start ttc again in January and aren't bothered about a Xmas baby. We've timed it this way because autumn babies do better academically (because they're older than their peers).

But tbh we tried to time it that way with DC1 and ended up with a February baby instead, so as people are saying, you can't really plan it anyway!

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Crunchymum · 28/11/2019 09:25

Conceived mid Feb, positive test 1st March and baby arrived (9 days past edd) in mid November. Agree with PP.

You arent calculating correctly OP.

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Fink · 28/11/2019 09:26

Ex-h and I are teachers. We stopped ttc over the autumns to avoid summer births. To us that was much more important than a Christmas clash.

Personally I wouldn't try to stop a December birth because I've never found it to be a problem, but if you think it would be awful then by all means go for it. To be safe, you'd want to avoid ttc for February-April.

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GiveHerHellFromUs · 28/11/2019 09:26

January baby - it's just after Xmas and everyone's skint
June - August baby - youngest in the school year, all their friends will drink/drive/play the lottery before them
November/December baby - too close to Xmas

That's a lot of months to rule out if we're playing by the shit birthdays rule.

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NotQuiteUsual · 28/11/2019 09:29

I thought having a Christmas baby would be awful. But my Christmas Eve baby proved that wrong. It's honestly magical and he loves it. My eldest is always saying how jealous she is and why couldn't she be born at Christmas.

I do set some rules such as no combined presents till he's old enough to ask for them and we do a big day out on his birthday or the day before depending what he's after and when they're open. We always make sure he carries a balloon show people know it's his birthday and staff at his days out always make the effort to make him feel special. 4pm is when we start Christmas Eve things, like the Christmas Eve box, but that has a birthday gift from Santa in it. Plus our tree turns into a birthday tree for the day.

Basically by all means avoid it if it would bother you, but I wouldn't worry about it. Life goes on, even if your kid has a birthday at Christmas.

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Wixi · 28/11/2019 09:31

If you are trying to avoid a December (ie month 12) baby then Jan/Feb are great times to try, not avoid. My DD was conceived in Jan and born in October. March/April would be best avoided but babies come when they are ready at approx 40 weeks, so no amount of planning will avoid "unfortunate" dates.

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Hoppinggreen · 28/11/2019 09:32

DD’s birthday is 23rd December (she wasn’t planned) so when we ttc number 2 we didn’t want 2 Xmas babies so planned accordingly
Unfortunately DS was 17 days late and born on 13th December so if you do want to avoid another Xmas baby give yourself a wide margin of error.

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Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 28/11/2019 09:35

Youngest son was due Christmas day 2009 but arrived Jan 7th 2010. Loves his birthday, mainly because he gets presents in the sales so gets more as my money goes further. He also is so happy after Christmas once all the buzz dies down as his birthday is coming up, whereas everyone else seems pretty miserable going back to work etc.

Just another perspective for ya.

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