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AIBU?

To try to avoid an Xmas birthday for dc2?

101 replies

paintedfences · 28/11/2019 08:19

I always hear people with a Christmas birthday say how crap it was for them as a child, getting 'combined' presents and not many coming to their parties as it's such a busy time.

We're thinking of starting to TTC DC2 in Jan which, if I caught straight away and if all went well, would make DC1 just 2 when the baby was born. That's the minimum age gap we're okay with. But, I am thinking of skipping ttc in Feb/March (no known fertility issues btw) because of the potential for a Christmas birthday, because of how crap it supposedly is for them, but I'm not sure if that's silly or not!

I'd like to hear from people with Christmas born dc and how they handle it - could you just have their birthday party with all their little friends a month or two after or something? Also DC1 is early Nov so potential for jealousy is DC2's birthday party is the only one moved?

OP posts:
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Picklypickles · 28/11/2019 12:20

My son was due on the 14th January, he decided he was coming at the end of December instead! He's happy as long as he gets cake, he's never had any combined presents, although his birthday has occasionally been forgotten by 1 or 2 family members.

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AlaskanSnow · 28/11/2019 12:24

My birthday is Xmas Eve. I wasn't due until 20th Feb!

Also, my husband decided he wanted a Sept/Oct/Nov baby so they were the oldest in the school year.
After it took us (with no known fertility issues) 10 months to conceive, then suffer a loss at 14 weeks, then another 11 months to conceive we both agreed we didn't give a shiny shit when the birthday was.

But, it is up to you!

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10storeylovesong · 28/11/2019 12:26

There are so many factors out of your hands!!

I was a Dec 21st birthday and love it. My parents always kept it special, but as I got older gave me the option to combine presents if I wanted something bigger. It fell around mad Friday so there were always friends willing to go out as I got older!! Now I'm a mum with 2 kids, we go to Chester Zoo lanterns every year for my birthday which is a really special way to spend it with my family.

My friend was 29th Dec and hated it. Eveythone was in limbo and waiting for new year and didn't want to celebrate.

DS1 was due May 9fh and came Feb 9th...

I had no known fertility issues but it took 3.5 years to conceive DS2.

Just go with the flow and things will happen when they're meant to!

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SheOfManyNames · 28/11/2019 12:26

I think you are overthinking this.
I know someone who had a December 26th baby- due date was around end of Jan/start of Feb, but baby came early. You never know what is going to happen.
Christmas birthdays aren't that crap, IMO, unless they are on the 24th, 25th or 26th, you can make the day special and not overshadowed by the Christmas shite.

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MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 28/11/2019 12:36

Any birthday in December is overshadowed by Christmas

Only if the child's family allow it to be.
DD (6) has her birthday a couple of weeks before Christmas and it has never been an issue. She's lucky that no one in her life would be insensitive or tightfisted enough to give her a 'combined' birthday and Christmas present or wrap her birthday present in Christmas paper or any of the other things people tell you will happen. We make sure birthday parties are scheduled a couple of weeks before and that we send out invitations well in advance as December is a busy months for people and have never had a problem.

DD likes the Christmas tree to be up ready for her birthday but that's entirely her choice. We'd happily leave it til afterwards if she wanted. But we also make sure that when she comes downstairs on her birthday there are balloons and obviously non-christmassy decorations up in the living room and presents are placed nowhere near the tree so it doesn't feel like Christmas morning. She has a birthday cake and the Grandparents come round for a birthday tea. I'm not sure exactly what it is she's supposed to be "missing out" on?

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ForgotwhatIcameinherefor · 28/11/2019 12:39

My birthday is a week after NY so it's always been rubbish - parents couldn't be bothered when I was a child, then as I got older, I would get left over boxes of Quality Streets or Roses from work colleagues for my birthday (and now I think about it, random other reject presents; post-dated cheques from my siblings... and following the Christmas and New Years parties, everyone - including me - wanted to go on a diet and stop drinking and spending money, not go out for another celebration.
I would have MUCH preferred a December birthday!

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VanessaShanessaJenkins · 28/11/2019 12:42

My birthday is between Christmas and new year. People always say it must be rubbish but I don't know any different. Meant I've never been at school/ work in my birthday which is great and I've never been given joint presents unless I specifically asked for them so I could have something of greater value. It's party season so everyone is up for celebrating I've always found.

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neverornow · 28/11/2019 12:48

Try on your December cycle for a September baby. One or 2 months won't make a huge difference with your DC1. Toddlers are toddlers....it'll still be hectic
My DD was conceived Xmas day last and arrived late Sept. Lovely time of year as not too cold yet and you're recovered in time for Xmas.
Good luck!!

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Chunkyetfunky90 · 28/11/2019 13:06

DD2 birthday is 29th dec, we still make it as special as her Siblings birthdays.

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bigshiplittleboat · 28/11/2019 13:49

I’m 27th, DD age 1 20th and current pregnancy due 16th Dec. I really like when my bday is because it gives me something to look forward to after Boxing Day, and then I’m all partied out at the end of it so don’t feel I’m missing out. When I was younger people did forget and I rarely had parties, which I found difficult - I’m planning on having parties earlier or later for my DC. And I have a strict no joint presents rule! But other than that I like having it, makes the season feel extra special!

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Pilot12 · 28/11/2019 14:04

It depends how long you've been trying for and how much you want a baby. I waited until my 40's to conceive and time wasn't on my side so I would have been happy with a baby for my Christmas present! There's never be a right time for a baby though, there'll always be something whatever month baby is due, a holiday, a festival, somebody's wedding......

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Hotseat · 28/11/2019 14:10

First world problem. Sounds precious to me.

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mistermagpie · 28/11/2019 14:12

Emmacb82 - it depends where you live, in Glasgow and north Lanarkshire for example a child turning 3 in March would get funding in April. Unfortunately that's not the case where I live, he will have to wait until August!

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AlliKaneErikson · 28/11/2019 14:17

One of mine is end of August and the other the beginning of Jan- both seem to be particularly ‘unpopular’, but after years of ttc and fertility treatment, I couldn’t have cared less what their date of birth was!

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Garlicandherb · 28/11/2019 14:23

Maybe I overthought it too, but I planned like this as I didn’t want to have a child with a Christmas birthday - DH has a Christmas birthday and he hates it, so he was adamant he’d rather skip the Feb/Mar cycle!!

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Evilmorty · 28/11/2019 14:23

I have a December baby. YANBU.

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Didthatreallyhappen2 · 28/11/2019 14:27

DD was born on 1 January, very early in the morning. Got into all the papers (with me looking like death warmed up) as she was the first baby in our town born that year. We celebrate Christmas and birthday separately, and parties are held in January. Often we'll have another party in the middle of June too, so we can be outside.

As long as your baby is here, and healthy, does it really matter in the slightest when they come? It took far too long for DD to arrive for me to care what day she was born.

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ims0rrydarlin · 28/11/2019 14:27

I’ve got a Dec birthday, 14th.

Was rubbish growing up because it was always the last week of term. So exams, coursework deadlines in school and then Uni deadlines and exams etc.

However, the baby will come when it’s time. Aslong as you make it special for your child, doesn’t matter if it’s Christmas or not.

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Winterdaysarehere · 28/11/2019 17:05

I have a ds with an August birthday, he hated it as a dc as all his friends were usually on holiday and missed it!! Another ds is 5/11 and is sick to death of fireworks!!

Ttc and embrace!!

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NameChange30 · 28/11/2019 21:07

I can understand both sides.
If you haven't had fertility problems and you have plenty of time to conceive, you can be picky about the timing.
Equally, if there are fertility problems or other issues, I would think most people would want to try every cycle and wouldn't give a shit about the due date.
So I think you should do want you want and not worry about what mumsnetters think Smile

When I was TTC DC1, I did skip April, mainly because of avoiding a probable Xmas/NY birthday, but also because we were staying with friends during my fertile window Grin I got pregnant in June and DS was born in March which turned out to be a good time to have a baby, mat leave over spring/summer Smile

We have been TTC #2 for a few months but decided to have a break this month for 2 reasons, I want to avoid a probable August birthday and also just want a break from trying, it was becoming a chore and I was gutted every month when it hadn't worked. So we're taking the pressure off. We will probably start trying again next cycle or the one after that. If I'm not pregnant by next April I'm not sure if we will skip it. The age gap is already bigger than I ideally wanted so I think we should probably keep going. I'm finding it more stressful second time around!

Good luck whatever you decide.

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bosher · 28/11/2019 21:37

DS is a boxing day baby and he absolutely loves it. I don't agree that a December birthday is crap, it's all about how you pitch things to kids and we put a positive spin on it for him. He loves that he wakes up on Christmas Day, opens his presents and then gets to do it all again the next day! He doesn't have to go to school on his birthday and everyone is off work so he gets to spend his birthday with his family every year. Everyone always remembers his birthday as it's such an easy date to remember whereas my March born sometimes gets forgotten by distant relatives.
We have his party in early December so he never feels as though he's missing out and he doesn't get joint presents although this might change when he's older as it means he can choose whether to have separate presents or a bigger combined present.
He was actually due on 30 December and my water ended up breaking on Christmas day. I tell him that Santa brought him and now that he's older, this story is met with an eye roll but he still loves to hear it and it makes for a fun story!
I remember fretting about him having a Christmas birthday when I was pregnant but once he was here, the date he arrived really didn't matter as I was just so happy to have him.
Good luck with whatever you decide but if you do have a Christmas baby, don't be sad about it, it's actually great...

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Whatjusthappenedthere · 28/11/2019 21:50

My DS was conceived on Feb 14th ( fact , trust me, I know ) he was born mid December ... 2 weeks late ... so Feb babies can arrive close to Christmas. He loves his birthday. Everyone already in the mood to celebrate . His birthday is our gateway into the Christmas festivities.

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katienana · 28/11/2019 21:55

I have a December birthday and I like it. There are always events on that I want to go to, in recent years I've been on Santa trains with my kids on my birthday and stuff like that. Always a buzz in the atmosphere if I go out for a meal or drinks. And my husband is a December birthday too so we always combine celebrations. No body ever got me a joint present when I was a kid so never had that problem.

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sayanythingelse · 29/11/2019 00:57

DD was due on the 26th Dec but she ended up coming the week before Christmas. I conceived her in April.
It was lovely bringing a new baby home just before Christmas and it's made every year much more special since. I was absolutely desperate for her not to be born around 2nd/3rd January as I think that would be worse than a Dec birthday.

We'll be skipping March-Jun when we TTC #2 as I don't want another one born in the months around Christmas just for the money factor. It costs a bomb Grin

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managedmis · 29/11/2019 01:00

Let's face it, winter birthdays are crap, so you need to avoid March, April, May for conception.

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