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AIBU?

To try to avoid an Xmas birthday for dc2?

101 replies

paintedfences · 28/11/2019 08:19

I always hear people with a Christmas birthday say how crap it was for them as a child, getting 'combined' presents and not many coming to their parties as it's such a busy time.

We're thinking of starting to TTC DC2 in Jan which, if I caught straight away and if all went well, would make DC1 just 2 when the baby was born. That's the minimum age gap we're okay with. But, I am thinking of skipping ttc in Feb/March (no known fertility issues btw) because of the potential for a Christmas birthday, because of how crap it supposedly is for them, but I'm not sure if that's silly or not!

I'd like to hear from people with Christmas born dc and how they handle it - could you just have their birthday party with all their little friends a month or two after or something? Also DC1 is early Nov so potential for jealousy is DC2's birthday party is the only one moved?

OP posts:
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cheninblanc · 28/11/2019 09:36

My dd is a December baby and never complained, she's 16 this year. Your overthinking it. We've never had a problem with parties or presents

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Babdoc · 28/11/2019 09:38

My second child was born a couple of days before Christmas. When she was little (and quite a feisty wee madam!) we had two Christmas trees each year. One in the sitting room with the Christmas presents under it, and the other in the kids’ playroom, with her birthday presents under it! She called her tree the (DDname-mas) tree, and her presents all had to have birthday, not Christmas wrapping paper.
She liked having a birthday at that time of year, as there was always a pantomime to go to, and the shops were full of great present ideas.

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Bear2014 · 28/11/2019 09:38

It's April you want to steer clear of, my DD was born at 39+4 in the first week of Jan and I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant 30th April.

She's going to be 6 next month and loves her birthday. As do her whole NCT group which spans Mid Dec to Mid Jan. She doesn't know any different and we always make a fuss of her and buy her a 'summer' present for her naming ceremony day which is in July.

I feel more sorry for her brother who is a summer born, being young for his year and all his friends are on holiday. I am summer born and the number of weddings on my birthday over the years has been insane.

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TulipCat · 28/11/2019 09:39

If you have no problems conceiving then by all means plan your baby's birth for a month you prefer. Had I not conceived in February, my husband and I would definitely have avoided a March conception to avoid a Christmas birth. Other people may prefer to avoid summer borns because of the school year etc etc. It's up to you, and if you have the luxury of choice then by all means do what you think would work in your family.

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thebabessavedme · 28/11/2019 09:48

im a december birthday, 57 this year, I have always felt a bit sorry for people who have birthdays with no christmas decorations, as a child i absolutely loved having the tree up for my bithday, it seemed so magical and cosy and warm Grin I was always treated to the oxford street lights, the lights at harrods, a trip to hamleys, I think the excitement and anticipation of christmas just added to the excitement of my birthday (i still get excited by it now Blush)

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alreadyinchristmasmood · 28/11/2019 09:48

I m born right after Christmas. I love it and always had and still have beautiful presents for both.

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Cineraria · 28/11/2019 10:08

I think you can make it special for them if you want too. My younger brother's birthday is just before Christmas and he always had great birthday parties. My mum hired a hall and invited the whole class and they were always well attended as I think the parents valued a bit of child free time for last minute preparations! Even now he is an adult, if he visits, she makes sure she has a 'Happy Birthday!' banner and plenty non-Christmassy food treats about, so his birthday is recognised. We both got joint birthday and Christmas presents sometimes, if we wanted something expensive, even though my birthday was six weeks after his.

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Doidoit19 · 28/11/2019 10:12

My DC were born 30th and 31st December. We had fertility problems so there was no way on earth we would have stopped trying (had fertility treatment with DC2 so knew there was a chance we would have a christmas/new year baby again). They were both due january but both came early. We get rid of christmas around the 28th, we ask that nobody buys them a joint birthday and Christmas gift and we make a deal of their birthdays being their birthdays, nothing to do with Christmas.
But each to their own, YANBU if you decide to have a month or two off trying. Good luck OP.

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thornyhousewife · 28/11/2019 10:53

One of mine has a birthday close to Christmas. It's not a problem. I can't imagine caring this much about birthday parties.

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Biancadelrioisback · 28/11/2019 10:55

My DS was due in Feb but came a few days before Xmas.
Kids! Always spoiling plans

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ELM8 · 28/11/2019 11:03

December birthdays are great - everyone is in a good mood, decorations everywhere, usually got some time off work.. what's not to like?!

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ActualHornist · 28/11/2019 11:05

I would. I mean, what massive difference does it make to anyone here who thinks it's silly?

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Whattodoabout · 28/11/2019 11:08

Some babies are born premature so you could still potentially end up with a Christmas baby anyway. If you’re desperate for a baby, it really doesn’t matter when they are born.

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Dustarr73 · 28/11/2019 11:10

My ds was born on the 22nd Dec.Its awful for him,nobody bothers buying him anything.Apart from us,he gets separate presant though.I wouldnt do that to him.

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Crackerofdoom · 28/11/2019 11:10

I have a December birthday and it has never been a problem. As a child, my parents would always make sure they did something special and as an adult I make sure that if I want a big celebration, I organise one. This year, I am going on a Christmassy event with 20 friends (can't give too many details as it is totally outing.) I never have to work aon the days around my birthday and if I give my invite early enough, most people are free too. As a kid I never had to go to school on my birthday but it wasn't the big holidays so it was easy to organise a party.

Because it is Christmas, there are a load more events on you can go to, everything already looks beautiful and people are in a party mood.

DB is in February and hates it as everyone is so gloomy and DB2 and DSis are in August and they hate it because nobody is ever around.

A December birthday can be great but you need to help it along a bit whilst your child is young. Then they can take it and run with it afterwards.

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stealthbanana · 28/11/2019 11:19

I have a Christmas baby and an early January baby - double whammy

It’s definitely April/early May you want to avoid from a conception POV

I don’t think it’s a problem, but if you can get pregnant easily and you don’t mind the idea then sure, hold off

I love my Christmas baby - I found the whole Jesus/baby in a manger Christmas thing so special when I had one inside me and then a newborn (took him to a carol service at 6 days old). And being heavily pregnant is ace at Christmas as you can scoff mince pies like they’re going out of fashion and feel totally justified.

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MzHz · 28/11/2019 11:22

My ds has his birthday 10 days before Christmas and he LOVES IT!

Basically we only decorate house on his birthday so it kicks off Christmas for us, he says it’s like having 2 weeks of presents as the parcels with both birthday and Christmas presents arrive around his birthday and in the past we’ve opened a sneaky Christmas present a bit early to cheer up a drizzly weekend

Honestly if you manage it, it’s fun!

The only thing that a bit hard to get round is the weather and the dark afternoons which mean that parties need a bit more organisation

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Pukkatea · 28/11/2019 11:29

I think the period up to Christmas is quite good for birthdays - everyone is already in the mood to celebrate and everything is so festive. The worst is the dead zone between the 26th and new year where everyone is poor, fat, coming down from the xmas rush and probably still away with their families.

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IckyIsAFuckingStupidWord · 28/11/2019 11:38

My friend has 4 kids, 3 of whom have December birthdays, 2 the week before and 1 Christmas Eve.

They manage perfectly fine.

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mistermagpie · 28/11/2019 11:51

My baby is nearly two weeks old, she was due in December. You can't really control these things.

My eldest son had his birthday in July, which doesn't affect school (Scotland) but means everyone is always on holiday for his birthday parties.

My youngest sons birthday is in March, which means he can't access nursery funding for months after he turns three.

Any birthday can come with issues, I wouldn't try to control things too much because your baby might be premature anyway, or you might never get pregnant and always wonder 'what if?' you hadn't skipped those months.

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57mama · 28/11/2019 12:07

It's up to you really, but DD's born in early January and she hates it, always jealous of her September born sister.

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Emmacb82 · 28/11/2019 12:11

Having tried for a long time for number 2, with no fertility problems I would just go with it and whatever happens happens. You can’t predict how long things may take and the want for a baby far outweighs what time of year it might be born x

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Emmacb82 · 28/11/2019 12:12

@mistermagpie my sons birthday is in March and he got his funding in April

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ChrisPrattsFace · 28/11/2019 12:15

What happens if there’s a problem and you have an early labour? Say at 30 weeks?

Just be grateful you don’t have fertility problems and get on with it! I’d love a Christmas baby! (My brother was one, he loved it!)

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Dowser · 28/11/2019 12:18

Avoid February birthdays as well..too near Christmas so child has to wait another 46 weeks for things they’d really like

As an adult who wants to go away in the uk for your birthday
No thanks
My babies were born April, May and August
Perfect

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