DH has flipped help

[StressedTonightHelp]

Please give me some advice.

My wonderful DH (together 13 years, married 10) has always been my rock. Calm, kind, sensitive.

To ight he co.pletely lost it with DS on a night when DS was already vulnerable and needing mummy for other reasons. He shouted and I've never heard him shout before.

I'd been looking forward to him coming home as he'd texted me earlier to say he'd bought ingredients to make me dinner. I thought we'd have a lovely night. But he's been foul since he got home.

Jus now he lost it again, ranting about how he's a bad father (he's not). But I've never ever seen him like this before and I'm a bit scared to be honest.

He is always so calm. He's been looking awful for a purple of weeks, very thin and gaunt and I've been asking him to go to the doctor. I don't know what to do.

Any tips?

He needs to see your GP & if he's anything like mine, you'll need to go with him to make sure he speaks up properly.

There are several medical problems that could result in this sort of mood swings & feeling overwhelmed leading to lashing out. Diabetes as mentioned above, pernicious anaemia, thyroid disorders & more. Or could it be a reaction to a prescribed drug?

How are things now OP?

Was hoping there would have been an update from OP by now, hope you're ok OP

With sudden weight loss and change in mood I’d be worrying about type 1 diabetes so best to see a dr
It turned my calm lovely child into a rage filled screaming skeleton within 3 weeks she was crying and screaming all the time so I’d def be getting some advice a full medical check up sounds in order

OP is SCARED of him. No one should ever have to be scared of their partner. Feeding him a snack will not help her.

Yes Haviana & that of course makes him an abuser & only an abuser.

People are giving perfectly practical advice for dealing with what is much more likely a medical issue, given that the poster has said that this is very out of character.

I've flipped out & scared the life out of my 6'5" hairy assed DH, who is scared of nothing, but he was scared for me as he wasn't looking at typical behaviour from me & that really scared him, because HE CARES, not because he was physically frightened OF me. 🙄

In my case is was dual fold Potassium deficiency, which causes panic attacks over nothing & B12 Deficiency/pernicious anaemia which does similar, but potentially includes the weight loss, pale etc too.

I've also approached a collapsed & rambling & ranting strange man in a relatively quiet street. He seemed drunk. He was diabetic. Should I have just left him as I felt maybe I should be more scared approaching him.

People like you who see every man as an abuser are letting your past colour your view of world & letting your abuser win

I dont think the OP is saying she is scared OF HIM but that she is scared ABOUT HIM. Scared because it’s so unusual for him that she is worried there is something going on. Seeing the physical symptoms he has, I would say there's a physical reason for it all.

@StressedTonightHelp, I hope you manage to get some sleep and that things are better this morning.
Do you think you could convince him to go and see his GP ASAP?

I hope you're ok OP. Did he calm down?
Get him to the doctors this morning.

I hope DS is ok too x

How old is DS - 18 months or 18 years or somewhere in between because this has a bearing on attitudes to DH's behaviour.

Is his work ok? Having someone promoted over you, or being bullied or threat of dismissal would certainly affect someone's mood and behaviour.

Hope everything is ok this morning and that he is able to reflect on last night and commit to seeing a GP urgently to rule out any potential medical issues.

“ or an affair would be my guess”

Shameful post.

GP. Weight loss and unexpected mood swings can be indicative of diabetes.

I dont think the OP is saying she is scared OF HIM but that she is scared ABOUT HIM.

Yes, he’s ranting and foul but of course OP only is scared about him not of him.

Too many handmaidens on this thread.

@RockinHippy

I've flipped out & scared the life out of my 6'5" hairy assed DH, who is scared of nothing, but he was scared for me as he wasn't looking at typical behaviour from me & that really scared him, because HE CARES, not because he was physically frightened OF me. 🙄

What do you mean ‘flipped out*? Were you also ranting and foul?

You are also assuming that OP is scared for him. Erroneously I think.

@RockinHippy

No I won’t fuck off. I live in a world where a woman is killed every week at the hands of a woman. I won’t minimise a man’s foul and ranting anger to his wife as you want to do.

*at the hands of a man, that should be

What do you mean ‘flipped out? Were you also ranting and foul?*

Yes & DH was both scared fir me & of me. I scared the life out of myself as it ps also very out of character for me too.
**
You are also assuming that OP is scared for him. Erroneously I think

She could be scared for him & scared of him. It makes no real difference if the cause is medical & he needs help. I personally don't walk away from someone who is ill & needs help

"No I won’t fuck off. I live in a world where a woman is killed every week at the hands of a woman. I won’t minimise a man’s foul and ranting anger to his wife as you want to do."

Namechanger?? If so you're not even confident in your ramblings. If not, I wasn't talking to you, but your posts makes you sound equally as FU 🙄

I'm not saying this bullocks doesn't exist, we all know it does, but some of us realise that you can't label every man as the same, because they are not & that's a very sad & warped way to look at the world. I personally prefer not to be a mouse running scared & bleating on on the internet that all men are evil, but tackling the actual culprits head on 🤷‍♀️

Are you OK, @StressedTonightHelp ?

I am worried op hasn't come back

@Stooshie8 they've been together 13 years and married 10 so I'm assuming DS is 7/8 (don't know why that's my assumption but I guess he must be old enough to understand that DH was out of order which is why he then said he's a bad dad).

@Considermesometimes me too but I'm hoping he calmed down after she posted and she's focusing on her family and getting him then help he needs

I'd treat him kindly and gently, talk to him about the problem, offer to help. Hes clearly suffering. This will pass! Take care of yourself too.

If hes been a decent dh for 13 years then surely to the men haters on here that's a rare thing? I wouldn't throw a marriage away over one strop in over a decade.

I have been with my dh for over 20 years. He has shouted at the kids over 16 years of being a parent. So have I. Life can be stressful.

It's more reasonable to think OPs dh needs some help and a chance to explain than to LTB.

OP I do hope your ok today and get to tell him you was scared and he must see his gp. If you are still scared then tell him this. If he doesn't take that on board then talk to someone IRL who knows your dh to get some balanced advice. Only you know if you and ds or dh needs some time with eg a parent out of the house to reflect. Hopefully this is a blip but do look after yourself. He has to know it's not ok

Can you check his social media
Because a breach of trust like that will definitely help!!!😙

Some bloody awful responses to this woman on here.

One afternoon my DH 'flipped out' and it was scary. Because it was so, so, utterly unlike him that I was scared FOR him.
I called an ambulance because I couldn't calm him and thought he was having a nervous breakdown.
They diagnosed panic attack and sent him to his GP. Stress.
A few weeks later he had a heart attack. The Consultant said his artery was so narrowed that his body must have been really struggling. DH had been tired, but we put it down to work/commute/the most sleepless child in the world.

My husband was, and still is, mortified by the way he lost control that day. But he was ILL and couldn't help it. And that happens. So you all here with your 'he's abusive' attitude want to wind your necks in.
Get over to relationships and support some women who really are living with absuive twats and stop projecting this shit on every man who ever lost his temper because it's damaging.