To not cover up...

[AnxiousPixie]

First post so hope I'm doing this right...probably TMI at times! Sorry about that!

My DH and I have one DS now 4yo. I have always been body confident and don't want to raise kids that are ashamed of their bodies.

I don't wear PJs, I always wear underwear on my bottom half but rarely on the top. DS regularly gets into bed with us first thing in the morning.

DH is now saying he is too old to see my body and I should cover up. I knew at some point it might get odd but I didn't think that would be a early as four!

Thoughts?

Very personal choice, I think you will get replies at both ends of the spectrum

I remember my dad suddenly getting very private in the bath when his little girls got rather curious

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him seeing you naked at that age at all. I don’t think I would be cuddling up in bed topless though - I wouldn’t do that now tbh and my DS is significantly younger. But then sleeping topless isn’t the norm for me anyway. If it is for you I don’t see the big deal I suppose.

Being body confident is separate from attire around the house in my opinion and I wouldn't be confusing the two. Wearing a top in the house isn't going to teach them to be ashamed of their bodies.

It's absolutely possible to promote body confidence without letting everything hang out so to speak.

So it comes down to this: you prefer to be topless in the house and your DH thinks the children are getting to an age where boundaries should be different.

There's no right or wrong answer for this sort of situation.

I've always been quite open with my 9yr old, it's just the two of us and we still change together in the morning, get out of shower in front of each other etc I've never actively 'hid' from being naked around him and he is always comfortable doing the same (will dance around naked after his showers... cracks me up! 😂)

It'll probably get to a point where he is not comfortable as he gets older but until then I don't feel it's necessary to hide my body. I'm sure it's different in every house but each to their own.

I think LolaSmiles has put it perfectly.

I agree with PP. I don’t think body confidence and walking around naked go hand in hand. It’s about how you feel about your body - and the language you use when talking about it - not what you ‘show off’. I don’t wander naked around the house but I feel very body confident.

I can honestly say I never ever say my mum or dad naked when I was growing up (not that I remember anyway) and I've always been body confident.

I think it is important for children to know that it is not normal to be naked with adults. It leaves them open to abuse. Children also need privacy.

I can honestly say I never ever say my mum or dad naked when I was growing up (not that I remember anyway) and I've always been body confident

Conversely, I definitely saw my mum naked when I was growing up, and I’ve never been body confident.

Surely OP is just talking about in bed?

Yes my mam was always very very private, and I’m very very body confident. DP often asks why I haven’t any clothes on!

The covering up happens naturally ime. You don't even notice when it does.

Cuddling up in bed topless with your son is a bit much.
Him seeing you naked if he walks into the bathroom for example, not too much.

My LO is only 2 so probably a while to go get before I think a out this but my DH has always been reserved about getting changed in front of her. He's quite old fashioned really and probably doesn't think little girls should be seeing their dad's naked! I'm totally fine with it at 2 but when she gets older I may feel differently.
I get changed in front of my daughter all the time although I was tempted to stop when she pointed at my lady bits and went "URRGHHH YUK!!" the other day Talk about body shaming!!

Please don't say 'underwear' when you mean 'knickers'.

Cuddling up in bed topless with your son is a bit much.

The child is 4?!

I am really shocked by this thread.

The child in question here isn't even half a decade old.

Yes my mam was always very very private, and I’m very very body confident. DP often asks why I haven’t any clothes on!

But again, you can be very body confident without walking around naked.

I should've added that not only did I never see my parents naked, my kids never saw me naked either.

I guess I'm just one for wearing clothes around the house, even when I'm alone.

OP, lots of women are still breastfeeding at that age!

I do not see a problem with what you are doing.

Please don't say 'underwear' when you mean 'knickers'.

Why ever not?

We are a very naked family, I grew up in a naked family. However if I were cuddling up, I’d wear a top. I do however walk around with nothing on quite happily.

@youcanonlydraftthefuture true!

Nudity isn’t an issue in our house because we’ve never made it an issue - we just have a “pants on downstairs” rule just to be courteous to the neighbours
Both DH and I bath/shower in front of/with our DCs, get dressed/undressed in front of them etc, and our DCs are practically always naked As soon as they walk in the door, they start stripping off and are often found watching telly in their underwear! (Eldest two kids are 3 & 4)

Please don't say 'underwear' when you mean 'knickers'.

Totally agree