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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bare bum in dressing room , AIBU.

892 replies

pinkboa · 26/11/2019 22:57

I take DS to swimming. I got the times wrong turned up for the wrong lesson. I decide to go back to the changing room to wait. I find it hard to breath in the pool area, 30 minutes is ok, an hour and I can feel my asthma begin to act up.

There is a dad there getting his daughters dressed (fine) he was in the pool and he's down to his underwear.

Another dad arrives with his son, him and my DS are in the same lesson.

Anyways dad of daughters decides to get dressed... he drops his pants and is stark naked in front of his daughters. He is also by the door so if another parent was coming in their child would have walked into his penis! And it wasn't less than a minute because he was drying himself as well 🤢...

There are cubicles. He could have used a towel as well.

Why would and adult choose to get naked in a dressing room at a swim lesson for children with strangers around.

AIBU to find it bizarre?

His bum was also hairy and unattractive 🤢.

OP posts:

myself2020 · 27/11/2019 05:37

Yes, i read the thread. just to emphasise the club hads all rights to exclude you permanently and (especially after hanging out there for 30 minutes)

losingthepl0t · 27/11/2019 05:39

I am surprised they did not complain about you being in the men's changing room. all swimming pools without communal changing areas I know, require anyone over 8 to use the appropriate changing room. I would have certainly complained if a bloke was hanging out in the ladies changing room.

Frankly as a woman, with a son why can't I take him to the Male changing room?

Because it's a men's changing room. you have no business being in there!

how old is he? if he is young, I would take him to the ladies but from 7-8 onwards, he sure can get changed without help in the men's.

JoannaObrien · 27/11/2019 05:39

I just laughed at this

His bum was also hairy and unattractive 🤢.

I make my husband shave his because I hate hairy bums

finn1020 · 27/11/2019 05:53

So OP you’re a woman, hanging out in the men’s changerooms for half an hour. That’s weird and pervy.

Starrynights86 · 27/11/2019 05:56

I would have complained about you sitting in there for half an hour watching people get changed. It’s weird and creepy.

SimonJT · 27/11/2019 05:59

So woman goes to school pool and purposely sits in the male changing room, voyeurs aren’t welcome anywhere, they certainly aren’t welcome in changing rooms.

When I go to my gym class on Sundays there are about fifteen of us who are then getting showered etc at the same time and the swimming sessions are ending. So there will be at least 15-20 naked men showering, drying and dressing many with children.

If you were in there you would be reported for your voyeurism and banned from attending the gym in the future.

notnowmaybelater · 27/11/2019 06:16

stucknoue there is no naked swimming in family swimming pools in Germany.

What utter, utter misleading crap some people spout.

Then people reading it believe it.

The naked swimming is only in 18+ sauna / spa places. Yes it's all above board and there are adults of both sexes (mostly elderly, the one time I went into one) removing their towels to swim and go into saunas, but they all know it's a "fabric free" area and the changing rooms still have cubicles and are single sex, and nobody walks around naked, everyone wears rivers and/ or large swim towels.

There are no under 18s allowed in those areas. They're "wellness" spas.

Family swimming pools have sex seperated showers (where people do shower naked) and sex seperated toilets, and changing villages with cubicles, and nobody swimming naked or walking about naked or getting changed in public open areas.

Gyms have open plan changing seperated by sex.

It is not in any way normal or acceptable for a man to change in the women's changing room. It is a room where girls of 8+ should be able to get changed unsupervised - penis bearers over 8 years old change in the men's, whether or not they first help their daughters change in the women's.

notnowmaybelater · 27/11/2019 06:17

*everyone wears robes not rivers...

notnowmaybelater · 27/11/2019 06:25

Oh FFS it's a men's changing room?

I got so annoyed about the stupid misleading comment about Germany on page 1 I didn't read on.

pinkboa you have no right to sit in the men's changing room if you're a woman, any more than a man has a right to sit in the women's.

Children under 8 can go into the correctly sexed changing room for their carer.

Children over 8 should be able to change alone without being confronted by adults of the opposite sex baring all in their changing rooms.

There should be a disabled changing facility.

Children without a disability who need help changing can ce helped in their changing room by an opposite sex parent if necessary, but this parent is purely there for the minimum time necessary to change their child and gets out ASAP and changes in their own changing room.

Women do not change in or sit in the men's. Men do not change in or sit in the women's. An adult sitting in the wrong changing room is in the wrong.

Aria2015 · 27/11/2019 06:27

If you were in the men's then I think it's fine. I've seen women do the same in women's changing rooms loads of times. It's a space to get changed and some people are more open about it than others. If you didn't want your kids to potentially see a naked man then go to the women's but you're just as likely to see a naked woman in there too.

Badabingbadabum · 27/11/2019 06:33

starynights86 no, the OP said that she was actually only in there for 20 minutes. So, you k ow, that's fine. Under the perv threshold.

spanglydangly · 27/11/2019 06:36

This is the funniest thread ever and I think a 100% unanimous YABU?

But of course OP is not being unreasonable still! Also I don't get how someone could enter a dressing room and walk straight into the mans penis! Surely he'd gave to be at least the width of the door away for it too open?

Again I say did Op never wonder why she was alone in the men's dressing room after swimming lessons? I think that maybe she liked the space and not being crowed and then a man had the audacity to get changed in there! Bloody men, never know the right time me or place for these things...... oh wait!

JoannaObrien · 27/11/2019 06:37

Would any woman want to go into a men's changing room to look at naked men? Not me ... I have no interest in looking at a bunch of Dad bods in some swimming changing room. Infact I never go swimming anymore because I saw a turd floating in our local swimming baths and that has put me off swimming in any public swimming pool ... I only swim at my private spa club now.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 27/11/2019 06:37

Sorry it wasn't unisex it's the men's.
Are you a woman op? If so you shouldn't have been in the men's changing room. This man had every right to be getting changed in the men's changing room. You shouldn't have been in there.

OzziePopPop · 27/11/2019 06:37

Does anyone else think the man in question actually behaved reasonably well? By turning and only flashing his arse and not his penis I mean? Just it struck me that some might well have thought this an opportunity to ‘legitimately flash’ the op - seeing as she was in the men’s and all?

SusieSusieSoo · 27/11/2019 06:40

At our swimming lessons the rules are that you go in the changing room according to the sex of the parents for safeguarding reasons although no parents go in the pool

spanglydangly · 27/11/2019 06:43

At least then you know it's a private spa club members turd if you see one!

JoannaObrien · 27/11/2019 06:43

@OzziePopPop

Why didn't the man with the hairy arse (this reminds me of Mrs Doyle from Father Ted lol) tell her to leave? Perhaps he wanted her to see it, who knows there are some strange men about in swimming changing rooms. I read about some man who worked a swimming pool and planted hidden cameras in the women's changing rooms so he could look at naked women and children. He was arrested and charge with voyeurism ... dirty pervert.

JoannaObrien · 27/11/2019 06:44

@spanglydangly

There are no turds allowed in our private club

Thescrewinthetuna · 27/11/2019 06:47

You can’t get upset at seeing a man’s arse, hairy or not, in the men’s changing room.

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 27/11/2019 06:49

Well that took an unexpected turn from the first to the last page!

My son tells me that the blokes are all naked in the men's changing rooms (he doesn't really like it - apparently there's a lot of general naked wandering around and there are no cubicles and open showers in the mens). TBH, the women are too, although just while facing their lockers getting changed generally, plus showers are enclosed, and he probably just didn't notice when he was younger and in the ladies, because he preferred changing in a cubicle (which we have in the ladies)

OP. YABU for being in the men's changing rooms as an adult woman. Nudity in mens changing rooms appears to be the norm from what I understand.

tigger1001 · 27/11/2019 06:58

People change in changing rooms - hardly surprising. And yes, they will still change in the changing room if there are children present. That's kind of the point of a changing room.

Op you were completely in the wrong for sitting in the men's changing room and are lucky that you haven't been asked to leave.

Procrastination4 · 27/11/2019 06:58

pinkboa how horrible of you to go into the men’s changing room. And then to be such a b that you post here complaining about a man changing there? Absolutely pathetic!

Stupiddriver1 · 27/11/2019 06:59

Doesn’t matter if the women’s changing is small and crowded. You can’t go in the men’s! You certainly can’t go in the men’s and complain about naked bums!

The gym I go to is open plan (single sex) changing rooms with a couple of cubicles which nobody uses. Naked people everywhere. Normal.

I bet he thought you were a right pervert.......it’s not as if you were diving in and out with a small kid which would have been bad enough. You chose to sit in there without a kid for 30 mins of bum watching! If I’d been a bloke I’d have complained about you and had you thrown out!

katewhinesalot · 27/11/2019 07:00

He was naked facing the door with his dangly bit about to go in the face of anyone entering because the alternative was for him to turn round and then you'd have seen a lot more than his hairy bum...

Yes I suppose he could have wrapped a towel round himself but he was probably making a point about a woman being in the men's changing room.

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