How are mothers supposed to go back to work??

[ArtichokeAardvark]

I've just had the dreaded call from nursery to come and collect DS. 'Hello Mrs X, I'm afraid your son is unwell, please could you come and pick him up asap'.

My son is teething. Yes, he's a bit grumpy, but he's teething. Yes, he has a temperature but it's only 38.0 so not exactly an emergency. They admitted themselves he's running around happily with the other children, just being a little bit whingier than normal.

But no, I have to collect him. No they can't even give Teetha homeopathic stuff without a doctor's prescription. And please could I keep him home for 24 hours after his temp goes back to normal.

I am slammed at work. I'm the only person in my department this week and I'm desperately trying to tie up everything this month before I go on mat leave. I would drop everything if my son was genuinely unwell, but for god's sake he's TEETHING.

How the hell are mothers meant to be able to go back to work? This happens with depressingly regularity and my employer is luckily understanding but their patience is beginning to wear thin...

This may be slightly off-topic, but I've work in female-dominated teams for years, and as one of the few reasonably senior childless woman there, to some extent feel like I've been rostered in to co-parenting with the majority of women that I work with. I acknowledge that it's an employer-problem (not enough staff) but it's hard not to feel chagrined by the fact that I am constantly expected to arrive early and stay late/travel to meetings/pick up tasks/keep projects moving around numerous childcare arrangements. My instinct is that men taking up their fair share would help (at least because it'd keep the women I work with in the building more!) but it'd also help to get employers to stop expecting 1 person to do 3 people's jobs. But that's another story.

(I realise that the above may sound goady, so all I can say is that in reality I do all of this without complaint because I know it's women that are often struggling to do everything themselves. Nonetheless, it's become a massive irritant.)

I realise that the above may sound goady

I don't think it sounds goady at all, Screamed. The fact that you are in a female-dominated team is why this is worse for you. No harm in acknowledging that. Men should do more, then women would be under less strain.

It's possible to push back, even when people have outdated attitudes within ostensibly enlightened companies. My (female) manager once moaned about a (male) colleague of mine taking time off to care for his sick baby - "Why can't his wife do it, she's self-employed". As he had explained to her, his wife had done 2 days to allow him to come to work, and now needed to work BECAUSE she was self-employed and had a job to do too. My manager was not a bad person, she just hadn't thought it through - the assumption was that his wife would do it all because she was his wife, and the baby's mother, and her job could just magically fit around an ill child. I really respected him for pushing back on it.

Not goady at all screamed I, and other colleagues experienced this before we had children.

We worked in a very flexible department of a university which required early starts, late finishes and some weekend work. We were always given plenty of notice and always got the time back. it was actually very child friendly but did require planning. Two of our female colleagues with children always kicked off and claimed they couldn't do any of the above because of childcare...one actually said 'why should i ask my husband to rearrange his work day to accommodate mine'......this was when she was give 6 months notice about having to swap her usual day off because of service needs ( everyone had to be in on a certain day)