“Do any of you believe in the values of being brought up in a family where the parents are married?”
I don’t think parents being married or not makes a difference where the parents are truly committed to each other and the kids. But ime it’s rare this is the case when the parents aren’t married, the marriage doesn’t make the parents more committed but generally speaking those that choose to marry tend to be more committed.
And stats seem to bear this out, iirc relationships where the couple aren’t married are more likely to end in separation and the nrps after separation (usually fathers) are more likely to lose touch with the children and earlier on after the separation too.
And quite honestly, as a divorced single mum myself again ime there is still very much a stigma to having children “out of wedlock” especially if you then end up separated from the dad. My sister and I are nc now but when we were still in contact I certainly noticed her and other friends/family who’ve had children without being married and since separated front the father being treated appallingly by schools, Drs, bureaucrats and even complete strangers.
There’s not actually such a thing as legal next of kin BUT the reality is if there ends up being doubt or dispute regarding care of a patient who is in any way mentally incapacitated then medical staff will tend to go with clear legal connections to protect themselves. It’s not admitted I’ve certainly been flamed before for saying so but it’s what I witnessed several times when nursing.
Redlipstickhighheels - how many patients do you think reliably and accurately keep their gp informed about who they want as their nok? Especially young seemingly fit and healthy men who are the least likely to visit the Drs anyway? Plus what if a person takes ill/has an accident while outside their home locale? Can be very difficult to track down a partner as opposed to a spouse.
Yes ideally people would be sensible and keep a record of preferred nok inc contact details, blood type, allergies, current meds and brief salient medical history on their person at all times. I’ve certainly done this for many years, people with certain conditions are advised/encouraged to do this but personally I think everyone should, it’s a simple thing now with phone emergence apps although I was doing it before the smart phone thing just with a wee note in my purse, I also included my wishes regarding organ donation and my nearest and dearest know my feelings on that matter too.
The reality is a frightening number of people don’t even know their own blood type, let alone that of their partners/spouses and certainly most people don’t discuss their wishes in the event of serious incapacity, which rarely happens in a way that is foreshadowed.
All pps giving it
“We’re not married and we’re fine” sounds like you’re still with your partners/they’re still healthy/alive - the point at which you realise whether or not you really ARE ok financially/legally when shtf its too late to change things
Also “we’ve got wills, serious illness coverage, life assurance, named on each other’s pensions” etc - all well and good - except your partner can change these at any time without telling you and you may not find out you’re up shit creek until after they die! I’ve actually known a couple of cases where people have had nasty shocks after a partners death where wills or beneficiary on life assurance had been changed without their knowledge.
I didn’t marry expecting to divorce but I wasn’t naive enough to think it would never happen to me either! I did marry having seen the horrific effects that not marrying can have on a family when one party becomes seriously incapacitated or dies, both people in my circle and as a nurse.