To be worried about village life already?

[AdoptedBumpkin]

Hi all. This is my first post, so be gentle.

We moved as a family from Greater London to a medium sized village in a national park a few weeks ago. While I enjoy some aspects of rural life, I am beginning to worry about some of the villagers. They seem to gossip a lot about each other and it seems probable that that they must gossip about us, if only because not much else is going on.

Yesterday I was walking through the village with my daughter and passed a local old-ish couple. I heard the lady say something about 'the gilet' and I was wearing my purple North face gilet. It may have been positive and/or throwaway, but it spooked me that something so mundane would be commented on. I am used to a life where you really have to try hard to stand out.

I think one escaped from gransnet again !

I remembered being stared at in a village pub - not only for going to the bar (!) but also whilst wearing dungarees (dexys midnight runners have a lot to answer for - I loved those dungarees!)

I'm now trying to imagine village life in the 80s...

That's village life 🐮🐖🐺🐴🏡🚜
#Derbyshire

Classy bird you had there

She's a librarian. And though we split up 20 odd years ago we're still friends and we live in the same village. (Her current BF is my over the road neighbour.)

Cue Archers music...

@Feelingpants317 I'll get used to it.

She's a librarian. And though we split up 20 odd years ago we're still friends and we live in the same village. (Her current BF is my over the road neighbour.)

That is oddly beautiful.

But close! Oh, Village Life

One problem in National Parks in particular is the steep rise in house prices and shortage of housing for local people especially on middle and lower incomes, caused by the influx of wealthier relocators, commuters, retirees and holiday home buyers. Some villages have come to resemble dormitories or ghost villages in the week and out of season. It can cause understandable ill feeling

Juxtaposed with:

Here in village we have a chap that commutes regularly to Bermuda, my office is in London... The neighbours business is based in South Africa but he spends more time in their Chelsea home or Chalet in Val d.

Gave me a wry smile.

I agree about the problem with ghost villages btw. It's not good for the local community at all when the only people who can afford housing are wealthy commuters or second home owners.

We have mainly residents with some farm tenanted cottages but mainly houses that would always have been expensive from build or once converted from laundries, barns, youth hostels etc. Ours definitely isn’t a group of ghost villages but some do commute a couple of times a week. The Bermuda chap is here mainly but has about a week a month away. His wife is here most of the time.

I had a couple of emails today that reminded me of another aspect of village life that is excellent. The charitable funds. I chair a local charity known colloquially as the Poor Bucket ( by those who have been around since the fund was set up). It’s actually called the Village Distress Fund. The sole purpose is to fund support for those who are ill or facing unexpected difficulties, for whatever reason. It’s a safety net.

We give Christmas envelopes and hampers to the elderly and housebound - a few luxuries and £120 for a single person, £200 for a couple to just make Christmas nicer.
We fund a community car to take people to hospital or doctors appointments. We fund the employment of an Almoner for two mornings a week to visit the sick, to help with form filling, to host a tea party once a month and generally be helpful.
We pay for counselling, physio, a delivery of wood or whatever else is needed. We have a podiatry list of about fifteen regulars.
It’s something that rarely happens in towns but there is often similar in villages. It’s nice, if slightly quirky.

That's a nice idea @CherryPavolva. Have to admit I am not aware of any towns who do that, other than the usual communal Xmas meal etc.

I live in a small village in North Wales. My parents moved here when I was 6. I left to go to Uni and then went on to work down South and in Norway. I moved back to the village a year ago following my divorce. My parents live just up the street as does my sister. The ladies who work in the shop mostly went to primary school with me. Every day when working the dog I bump into the builders who did up my cottage or ex school mates or ex teachers or people I knew from my youth. It used to bug me as a teenager that everyone knew my business but these days I find it nice. My 8 yr old DD lives it as everyone speaks to her, she can go to the shop or up to Nan’s alone.

You’ve only got to live in a village for about 10years before you stop being “new!” But it’s worth it!

It’s been going for over a century.It is nice

RFTR, in this village most residents are here most of the time. House prices vary and some people probably are priced out.

One of the nearby villages has a rep for being full of old, rich people but the village next door to them is more affordable.

Thank you MN for introducing me to Mavis Cheek's writing, I've overlooked it until now. Christmas is looking more attractive.

I know this thread is nearly a year old now but just curious how you are getting on @AdoptedBumpkin

I've enjoyed reading the thread and having moved from London to a village myself I can recognise what some pp have said.

It probably sounds weird as this is the opposite of London but I'd very loudly and brightly say "hello! How are you? Weve just moved in so and so". Kill them with smiles. Either they'll like you or you'll never have won anwyay. Theh might think of you as 'those Londoners'.

Oops just seen how old.this is

I probably lived in my village around 4 years before I really felt connected-mostly because I had a baby and people would all stop and coo at the peak. But I reckon it's still at least a decade before people stop referring to your house as the previous owners' place.

@AdoptedBumpkin

I see your point *@OctoberLovers*, but if certain influential gossips turn against us - even for no reason - it could make life uncomfortable.

Why not wait until you;ve had more experience before jumping to any conclusions. Its true that in village /rural life there are no secrets, everybody knows everything and the jungle drums operate faster than the internet. But It's just interest, because in rural life (IME, over decades) there's an unwritten obligation to help and support without question, whenever somebody needs it, often without being asked. That support network has nothing to do with friendship. class, religion or approval.

@AdoptedBumpkin
I am interested too.

We just moved from the City to a village. I am not naturally sociable but felt I would need to be here. So I have made a firm effort. The local pub, is a very local place and DH and I have worked to ingratiate ourselves.

They are gossipy, and can appear nosey. They also have some very old fashioned views. BUT they are a community and everyone looks out for each other. They have welcomed us. My DS can go out to play, for the first time, and be safe and I know that there are eyes on him that will look out for him.

I love a gossip anyway, and don't fool myself that we aren't talked about, but at the heart of it, there is good here. So it is a price I am happy to pay.

Lived in SW london for 6 years. There was an excellent sense of community. Super easy to make friends especially mums at the local school. I'm really not sure where this idea that Londoners are aloof comes from. Finding it way harder in the southern village where we currently live. Im giving it 2 years.

Hi OP. I live in a rural Norfolk village. Before we moved here we recognised that in a small community people gossip and news travels fast. After all I am ethnically Indian, so I am always going to stand out. However, this is part of being in a community. One where everyone pulls together and when we have hit issues the community has supported us. I would not worry, but in a village you cannot live an isolated life and you need to get used to more interaction.

I have lived in London, Newcastle, Bristol, Edinburgh, Glasgow and Birmingham in my 60+ years as well as towns and villages. The big difference in the way people react to each other in cities to villages is that in the country side you are expected to greet people as you pass even if you don't know them. For someone from London where everyone goes out of their way not to interact with strangers this can seem quite strange. So it's a completely different mind set which can take quite a bit of getting used to. Have you joined in any local activities/volunteered to help set up the fete or whatever yet? Always a good idea to get involved with village life. Just as long as you don't start telling them what you think they should be doing or how what they're doing is wrong and you know better! Most things in a small community don't happen without locals doing it themselves so any help you can give always goes down well. Have you got a dog yet? Dog walking is also a good excuse to speak to people and get to know them. We live on a popular dog walk in our village and if we are out in the front garden we expect anyone passing to smile at the least and not walk straight past as you might have in London. A wee chat about the weather will always goes down well or ask them about events happening

You're all chippy as hell though, judging by this thread ..