To be worried about village life already?

[AdoptedBumpkin]

Hi all. This is my first post, so be gentle.

We moved as a family from Greater London to a medium sized village in a national park a few weeks ago. While I enjoy some aspects of rural life, I am beginning to worry about some of the villagers. They seem to gossip a lot about each other and it seems probable that that they must gossip about us, if only because not much else is going on.

Yesterday I was walking through the village with my daughter and passed a local old-ish couple. I heard the lady say something about 'the gilet' and I was wearing my purple North face gilet. It may have been positive and/or throwaway, but it spooked me that something so mundane would be commented on. I am used to a life where you really have to try hard to stand out.

Not really, but it came from someone who used to work in the pub. Who knows?. But I'd ban someone who was going around cursing ( threatening) people in my pub.

Everyone on here should read the Mapp and Lucia books. EF Benson. Very funny.

ive moved from a city to a town to a village. village life wins hands down for me, helpful to point of more than family, kind , yes everyone knows your business but I found those in towns talked same just didnt notice it. city you could die and they would step over you. you do need to fit in though if thats what you want I did and love it I would NEVER ever go back to city/town life.

Just say “hello”. They love it. In London that sort of thing really freaks people out though

Anyway, nice gilet

Agatha Raisin is based on fact.

The other thing to do is to avoid using the word bumpkin. It is rarely received well.

And gilet too, come to think of it. Try bodywarmer instead, or waistcoat, pronounced wesscut.

It happens. Join in a few community events, attend the odd parish council meeting, chat to the people in the shop. It'll settle when the next folk arrive!

Would Black/other minorities have a hard time moving to a village then? Would there be gossip?

I don't call the locals bumpkins

I used to live in London. I miss it terribly. I DID know my neighbours and people do say hello to one another. It takes a while to get used to village life. Just give it time.

@AdoptedBumpkin

Remember this?

I love Mapp and Lucia.
We are probably as diverse, given our low population, as any city.
In our tiny village and the adjoining village we have a broad mixture of people. This includes a brain injured wheelchair user, a young woman with Down Syndrome, a Mauritian couple, four gay couples (one of whom is French) a few single people, some very elderly, a few children, teenagers who are usually at boarding school, an Indian couple with adult children, five Romanian farm workers who share a cottage.

Are they gossiped about? Only if the disabled chap is unwell or someone’s child is getting married/off to university/broken a wrist clearing gutters of their elderly neighbours.

I definitely wouldn't go to the pub. I think that's probably gossip hub central

Wrong!

That's the church.

Ha ha schadenfreude that is true!

Mapp and Lucia!

I wish they'd repeat that on the telly - Iloved it.

And I've read my books almost to destruction. I know I should get new copies, but I love the old ones - they've seen me through some hard times. I'll have to get replacements and keep the originals as "comfort books". I've already done this with some of my Barbara Pyms, my Good Omens, my Master and Margareta, my Eustace Diamonds and my Njal's Saga*.

People keep asking me why I have umpteen copies of the same book.

We are probably as diverse, given our low population, as any city.... teenagers who are usually at boarding school

I'm not sure how diverse a place can claim to be if all of the teenagers' families are sufficiently wealthy to send them to boarding school!

Are there any families that aren't well off? Or are the Romanians the only working class people there?

That's not a dig btw, I just found it amusing that 'diverse' was clearly intended to mean ethnically diverse, but not diversity of social class from the sound of it.

Minorities: clearly from velvetbuzzsaws post upthread, it can be dire. Equally, I don't think it's dire everywhere. A few years back the groundsman at the church was gay. Everybody knew this, including the vicar (who knew his partner's family). I know a lot of people here, and I don't know anyone who was remotely bothered. They were as involved in local life as they wanted to be - I used to dog walk with one of them quite regularly. They moved somewhere really tiny, so clearly rural life worked for them.

Clothes: a local farmer's wife used to rock the most amazing hippy-type outfits. One of the local tradesmen has long-established dreads. Yes, you will be ID'ed by you clothes if you dress a bit differently, but you will be ID'ed by something - your dog, your number of DC, your car - 'You know, the bloke with the dreads, lives near the junction with Mill Lane, they've got two little girls and drive a clapped-out Fiat that used to be his dad's...' 'Oh, them! Is that his name? Trevor? They've got that bloody annoying Labrador that always steals other dogs' balls?'

I really appreciate the fact that I grew up in a close-knit community and so knew a huge range of people (age, background, attitudes) and that my DC have had the same privilege.

cosima1 that's a bit bizarre. Where in Wales was he, and where is he going this time? Does he think driving a car will make him stand out because Welsh people don't have cars, or because he has a particularly ostentatious car?

That sounds great CherryPavolva.

@JoannaObrien, I miss Little Britain.

Just say “hello”. They love it. In London that sort of thing really freaks people out though

WHY do people still peddle this rubbish? Is it people who've never actually lived in London just parroting what other people say? Or people who've gone to London assuming it was going to be unfriendly and so have been unfriendly themselves? This is TOTALLY not my experience of the place and I've lived here since 2000.

Be yourself, join in if you're a joiner, or stay aloof. My mother always said when someone is talking about you, they're giving someone else a break. Just don't join in.

WTF, tbh it’s because he has a car that might be considered a target and he doesn’t want to worry about it. The only other time he’s been attacked was in a town in Poland when he was attacked by three skinheads. This was in his late 20s. In Wales one guy tried to punch him when confronted over the car, but basically he was too drunk and the others were just very unpleasant individuals. Obviously he knows this is not representative of anything, but it did happen nevertheless and he said he could feel the hostility in the villages he went through.

Jillybean, that's a nice way of thinking about it.

Darling Nikita I was actually joking, but as someone who lives in London with a Mum who lives in the country this is my experience. Everyone says hello to each other at mums, whereas when I come home you can only get away with it if you are walking down the canal. You must live in a more friendly part of town!

Agree that the Church is where the community is in a village.