Notifications hidden on DH phone. AIBU

[whitekittens]

For some time now DH has had the notifications on his iPhone hidden. It basically means that when he gets a message, email etc. it will just come up on his locked screen that he has a notification rather than the first part of the message.

He hasn’t really given me an explanation for it. It’s making me really uncomfortable wondering why he doesn’t want me to see what’s in his messages. It wouldn’t cross my mind to do it with my phone...in fact I didn't even know you could set your phone like that until he did it!

AIBU to think it’s dodgy?

I have mine like this. I find I spend less time on my phone when I have to go in manually to read messages rather than them appearing on my lock or home screen. Gives me more of a sense of control like I choose when to see whether anyone has got in touch rather than automatically seeing whatever has been sent. I even turned them off from the app icon so I dunno if anyone has messaged unless I open the app which is great.

Plus if my phone is lying around and locked and it gets nicked or someone nosy sees it light up they don’t have the ability to read private messages. I don’t see why this is a problem.

I do this. Dont want random people to see what the message is and don't want DH to see if i'm talking about getting him a present or organising something for him.
No real issue i'd say.

My notifications are all switched off because I find them really annoying. Nothing to hide here and I doubt my DH would even notice (or care)!! You sound a bit paranoid.

I have always done this, single or married. I'm a firm believer that everyone has a right to privacy, I have never shared my passcodes or anything with anyone, and always kept my notifications hidden.

IF ExH wanted to see my phone when we were together i'd have been asking why he felt the need to.

I’ve changed my settings recently because the kids keep seeing the email preview and then reading it out “your Amazon order of xyz is on its way” and I have to quickly grab it so they don’t read their own Christmas presents!

Has he recently got a new phone? I've gone from and old iPhone to a newer iPhone and did the transfer settings thing and the only thing that's not stayed the same is that messages no longer pop up, it just says notification. I don't like it but just haven't bothered to work out how to change it yet! I wouldn't be suspicious personally.

Has he recently had a new phone? Iv just upgraded to iPhone 11 and mine now does this. No idea how to change the setting so that I can see them without unlocking

I do this. Not because I have anything to hide but if I'm out and about my friends etc I don't really want them to see my messages. They are mine

I have my settings like this as find it too distracting otherwise.

My DP does it but we have full access to each others phones and regularly use each others if its closer to hand. He just doesn't want other people seeing previews. I'm the opposite, I want to see the preview so I can decide whether to delay opening it or not 😂

It's not that weird as I generally don't like people being able to see messages on my lock screen and having a nosey, so I used to turn my phone upside down. I've nothing to hide I just don't like it.

I have the same setting in my phone as I leave my phone on my desk and lying about all over the place, I'd rather people didn't see the first line of my messages. Plus my dh can be a soppy sod and puts loads of hearts in his messages lol

I hide them too. It helps me not be a salve to my phone.

I've had mine set like this since 8yo DD learned to read!

Mine is set up like this too and it’s not because I have anything to hide from DP. In work my phone is on my desk and I don’t want potentially private messages on view to colleagues.
Also with Christmas coming up I’m getting notifications about deliveries, messages from family about gifts for the DC and I don’t want DS1 to see something by accident.
Totally innocent and valid reasons to hide notifications.
DP’s phone is the same.

Your either very nosey or you don't trust your husband. Which is it?

I have my phone set up like this and I have nothing to hide. Are you suspicious for other reasons?

I changed mine a couple of years ago when a friend was going through horrendous marital problems in order to protect her privacy. I then decided I quite liked not having my messages there for all to see and just left it that way. DH has never noticed. I actually have no idea how his phone is set.

Bottom line is...do you feel you have a reason to be suspicious or are you making the change a reason in itself?

I do this as well because I have dc that can read, we also do it on the iPad. I’m not sure about Dh’s phone, I’ve never looked.

Your either very nosey or you don't trust your husband. Which is it?

I suspect both.

I turn off the detail of the notifications so they don't distract me. If I can see the text I'm tempted to deal with them straightaway instead of getting on with what I'm supposed to be doing.

He hasn’t really given me an explanation for it.

Why does he have to? It's a standard option that many people choose on their settings

I am another one who also has notifications hidden. I don't want anyone and everyone being able to read my private messages. However, I also have experience of cheats...

1. Why do you think it is dodgy? Is it that you have trust issues or do you think he is not trustworthy (consciously or sub-consciously) I wouldn't think twice about it if it were someone I trusted.

1. It's strange that he has suddenly changed the setting and can't give an explanation.

In itself it is not an unusual thing to do but if you think it is, ask your self why?

Mine changed automatically a few iOS updates ago from showing the first few lines of a notification to just a box saying "notification", I didn't do it intentionally. His could have done the same.

I have my phone set up like this partly so that nobody except me can read my messages but also because I do long shifts at work (10-12hrs) and only check my phone on my break/lunch/dinner as I am customer facing and cant have my phone out. So if I do a 12pm-10pm shift, I will usually only check my phone on my dinner break at about 4pm and my evening break at about 7pm. I used to find that I would look at my phone and there were loads of individual email/text/social media alerts that I would get sucked into reading them all and my lunch break would be over. Now I get a single notification per app so I dont have to clear 5000 individual notifications every time I check my phone.