Notifications hidden on DH phone. AIBU

[whitekittens]

For some time now DH has had the notifications on his iPhone hidden. It basically means that when he gets a message, email etc. it will just come up on his locked screen that he has a notification rather than the first part of the message.

He hasn’t really given me an explanation for it. It’s making me really uncomfortable wondering why he doesn’t want me to see what’s in his messages. It wouldn’t cross my mind to do it with my phone...in fact I didn't even know you could set your phone like that until he did it!

AIBU to think it’s dodgy?

Our job actually requires this ... because of the confidential nature of some of the messages/emails we get!

Mine did this automatically after an update. I wouldn't worry.

I have my Android set up to hide notifications. Why on earth would I want it to flash up half an incoming message on screen when anyone could see it! Not hiding anything from DH, just the nosey fuckers at work and on the train!

iPhone X or newer (XR, XS, 11, 11 Pro) all use FaceID and have notifications hidden by default unless the recognise the owners face.

No foul play, just increased privacy.

If you want to see your DH's notifications then ask (or in our case me and the DW use the same PIN. Helpful for the occasions we need to use one another's iPhones or IPad)

The fact that you notice something that most people would not notice at all suggests one of two things

1. deep down you know he is cheating
2. you are a paranoid over anxious person and he is doing nothing wrong

I have mine like this - I don't want to see who's messaged/texted all the time - I have all notifications and sounds switched off, and then I'll look at it when I want to. Otherwise, it stresses me out!

I have no idea what dp has set her phone to - other than she has that really irritating tippy tappy sound on when she's typing...!

Posts like this make me so glad neither me OR my DH have a smartphone.

They're the bain of the 2010s I tellz ya.

Makes people suspicious and paranoid, and lets people know where you are all the time, and when you have read their message and so on.

@whitekittens your DH is not necessarily up to anything. Keep an eye on things though. Internet and smartphones have made having affairs easier.

My DH's phone used to show notification previews and then one day it didn't. When I asked him he didn't know why it had changed.

Turns out my phone started to hide my previews... It was after an update. The update had changed the default setting to no preview.

@SebandAlice except you can turn off the notification.

Hers a quick google search result:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.howtogeek.com/fyi/disable-that-annoying-apple-pay-notification-without-enabling-apple-pay/amp/

(Although to be honest not using Apple Pay is really missing out on one of the great features of the ecosystem. Especially if you have an Apple Watch)

I have this on my phone too. I get messages in all the time - work and personal - and I don't want clients to read any part of them. My phone messages are also silent.

My husband never looks at my phone but, he can if he wants to.

Perhaps that's the crux. Can you look at your husband's phone? If so, ask yourself why you'd want to because that's a really big thing and, in my opinion, the beginning of the end.

Has he done anything else to make you suspicious? Having texts hidden on a lock screen is basic privacy. It's the first setting I change when I get a phone because I don't want random people around me being able to read my messages on the lock screen.

If it's just this that's making you feel uncomfortable and he's done nothing else then YABU.

I couldn’t tell you wether my husband has this switched on or off , mine is set to not show the message as I don’t want work people to see messages that may contain personal info etc. If this is bothering you there must be more going on in your relationship - where’s the trust ?

Mine is set to this because I think it’s unfair to the messager that some random might see their message

Recent iPhone updates changed it and I had to change it back. Could that be what he’s done?

I do this in case someone sends something embarrassing/inappropriate in a group chat if you know what I mean. Not specifically hiding anything.

I wouldn’t notice because I never look at dh s phone.
In isolation it Means nothing, if he has history, or his behaviour has changed , o can see why would bother you.

Mine did that - it meant I wasn't distracted by the content and I gave messages my attention on my terms. Phones are pretty bloody intrusive when you think about it.

Unless you have other reasons for concern, it’s not a big deal.
As mentioned previously, all the new iPhones are set like that. Also, there’s been a lot of security updates recently and some of them might have been set like that.

I have mine set like this
I have nothing to hide
It's just the way I prefer it
I work one to one with people and often show things on apps or whatever on my phone
I don't want my group chats on display, or messages from my husband on display.
No idea if husband's phone is like this as I don't really look at his phone so I wouldn't notice if he'd changed
I don't feel the need to snoop

This is actually a requirement in my works IT policy if I have work emails on my phone. It is for security and GDPR.
I also prefer it as I get very distracted if I can read the messages with a glance.

My friend had to change his because he had to use his phone for work and was getting very inappropriate messages on a couple of group chats which were quite embarrassing for him.

Maybe he's got annoyed at group chats disturbing him.

It probably means nothing but honestly, I changed my notification settings when I was up to no good and didn't want my partner to notice who was messaging me.

Mine does this automatically, is his new?

I think the point a lot of pp are missing is that there are many innocent reasons to set this up, but they would also be easy to explain. If DH has no explanation, then that could be slightly odd.

Any cheater worth his salt would have a ready explanation at his fingertips however, so if your dh is just sort of vague and doesn't really know why he did it that could also be a good sign! Basically, it could mean anything or nothing so the salient point is - do you have other reasons to worry?

Mine and my husband’s phone is set like that. Never really thought about it. I purposely set mine like it because I’m one for leaving it lying around and don’t want nosey Parkers taking the opportunity to read my messages if one flashes up!

I don't even know if I can see messages that pop up when my DP's phone is locked - never thought about it and never looked. There must be something more behind why you are worried? Does he have form for being a bit underheand, do you suspect him cheating?

I do this to protect both my own privacy and that of the person messaging me. When I worked I didn't want colleagues seeing my messages when my phone was on my desk, and if I'm showing photos on my phone to friends or family, I don't think the person messaging me should unknowingly have their message seen by them.

Mine is set like that so people can’t read my texts. I can never text my husband freely as I worry clients will see on his lock screen.