Notifications hidden on DH phone. AIBU

[whitekittens]

For some time now DH has had the notifications on his iPhone hidden. It basically means that when he gets a message, email etc. it will just come up on his locked screen that he has a notification rather than the first part of the message.

He hasn’t really given me an explanation for it. It’s making me really uncomfortable wondering why he doesn’t want me to see what’s in his messages. It wouldn’t cross my mind to do it with my phone...in fact I didn't even know you could set your phone like that until he did it!

AIBU to think it’s dodgy?

I have my notifications set as hidden too, I'm definitely not cheating or hiding anything though.

Has he got an iPhone that has face recognition? If so, it’s a standard setting. It uses face recognition to reveal the first couple of lines of the message.

This. It was an automatic change on my iPhone. I don't think my fiancé cares but he's always welcome to log in and read my messages if he wants!

I have that - as does dp

Most people do?

I don't like my colleagues being able to see my messages on my phone on a desk at work so I do notifications like this. DH isn't the person I'm "hiding" them from.

Same for me. Except about hiding them from DH. When I was preparing to leave my abusive ex, he actually accepted the excuse I didn't want colleagues to see my messages. But I still don't have notifications pop up.

Have a look to satisfy your curiosity but he might just have them set that way so other people
Don’t see what his messages say.

I have is too, I work in an open plan office I don't want messages from friends in various group chats appearing on my phone or indeed it showing up what I am buying on eBay etc. I think you are overthinking this, maybe you have other reasons for your suspicions but this shouldn't be an issue.

Plenty of people have said it's nothing to worry about - but I'd also point out that if he was cheating with a particular person, he would probably just mute that conversation anyway.

My kids and I set up our notifications like this.

They want privacy from me knowing who has text them and how many times while I'm cbs to explain to them why X is texting me

Mine are like this. Stop nosy people at work if my phone is on the side.

I've recently upgraded my iPhone to a newer version. Since upgrading, my messages also come up as notification rather than the first part of the message. When the Face ID on my phone detects my face, it reveals the message.

Could a new phone?? Or updated phone software be responsible?

Same as others, I do this as I don't want my work colleagues seeing my msg at work

I have this and changed my DH’s so his does the same. It’s a privacy thing.

Is he happy for you to use his phone/ do you have the pin?

I don't think you're wrong to wonder why he's changed it. I would. Just ask him, no harm done.

My DP did this. Going through a very nasty divorce and he just couldnt stomach seeing messages to distract him if he was in meetings at work etc. If he sees a message from me etc he’ll open straight away

Mine did this automatically when I set up Face ID.. do you know he definitely did it deliberately?

You need boundaries and to work on your esteem. Speak to a counsellor and address your paranoia problems, it will effect your relationship eventually.

This is a common theme amongst us, some of us like our privacy especially in a public/work setting and likewise to provide privacy to those whom are messaging us.
Doesn't mean we are having an affair.

I have the same , I’m not up to no good just don’t want anyone reading my messages if I happen to have left my phone on the staff room table and nipped to the loo . Nothing sinister

I have mine set the same, I don’t want others seeing my private messages.

Wouldn’t even know how DH has his set up as I don’t look st his phone.

There’s obviously a trust issue if you feel the need to look at his phone.

I’ve turned all sounds off and notifications. I’m not up to anything suspect

I don’t want my DH to see my messages OP - not all of them, it wouldn’t bother me if he asked to see them though - we’ve been together 20 yrs, I’ve never cheated and don’t intend to. They are my private messages between friends, usually their private information that I’m respecting on their behalf by keeping it to myself.

My phone is set up like that. It doesn’t mean that I’m hiding anything. DH knows my lock code and his fingerprint is stored on it too!

But if he works in a shared office and places his phone on the desk his colleagues would be able to see the message preview. I have my preview turned off, I’m not up to anything dodgy but don’t like people particularly at work to read my message previews if my phone is left out. If my husband changed his settings I’d immediately think a work related reason, not wild affair! My husband doesn’t even know my phone password, I got a new phone and just haven’t had a reason to tell him it, he has no interest in reading my messages and I don’t in his.

I’d think there were trust issues to immediately think how you are thinking.

He hasn’t really given me an explanation for it

Good for him, who made you the phone police?

When I had an iphone I did this I didn't like the idea of it showing up in work or something and people reading my texts, not because I had a bit on the side

I do this. Don’t want randoms (particularly at work) seeing what messages I have. I’d be surprised if DH has even noticed