Notifications hidden on DH phone. AIBU

[whitekittens]

For some time now DH has had the notifications on his iPhone hidden. It basically means that when he gets a message, email etc. it will just come up on his locked screen that he has a notification rather than the first part of the message.

He hasn’t really given me an explanation for it. It’s making me really uncomfortable wondering why he doesn’t want me to see what’s in his messages. It wouldn’t cross my mind to do it with my phone...in fact I didn't even know you could set your phone like that until he did it!

AIBU to think it’s dodgy?

I have my messages and WhatsApp like that, for the same reason as others on this thread.. my phone is lying on my desk at work all day and I don’t want anyone to see my messages, despite them being boring and mundane 100% of the time.

My phone is set up like this. I've never thought about it tbh, aside from it being a good thing that nosy colleagues wouldn't then be able to see messages!

If you're looking at his phone enough to realise he's changed his settings I'm assuming you're already suspicious somethings going on. This is not a big deal on its own.

Actually though, could you ask him how he did it please?

My phone is like that. Why would I want anyone to be able to glance at my phone and see the first bit of my private messages.

Partners, friends, colleagues

I have mine like that...it's because if I'm out and about and pop my phone down, I don't want others seeing my messages.

We also know each other's passcodes and use whatever phone is closest if we want to check something.

You obviously have an underlying reason for the worry

Well I've hidden my notifications as it's annoying to have them come up all the time. Doesn't mean I'm up to anything dodgy... (I'm not, who could e bothered?!)

Why are you so paranoid?

Yabu if no drip feed.

I do the same as I find the notifications really annoying. I like checking my mail in my own time and not have a constant nag from my phone screen.

I do this. DH does this. I thought most people did tbh. Just means you're not as distracted by your phone. I would wonder why you're being so paranoid, though.

Mine did this automatically when I had a system update, I didn’t actually change it to this myself

My iphone does this. I've not changed the settings but noticed it's started doing this in recent weeks. I assumed it was one of the changed in one of the updates. My Apple Watch does it too these days I'm sure. I've not thought anything about it. I'm sure DJ would've be suspicious of me. I doubt he's even noticed. I've nothing to hide.

would you really not notice though?
No because I’m not looking at my partners phone 24/7.

I think you need to address some wider issues that are at play here. Have you always been this paranoid and insecure? Is your partner untrustworthy for some reason? Has he form for cheating?

I do this, not for any dodgy reasons but for some reason it irritates me when I see the start of the message.

I don’t have any notifications set for emails apart from telling me how many emails I have.

What phone has he got OP? All the new iPhones do this automatically when you set a passcode (I think - that's what mine did)

My iPhone with face recognition does this. I didn't set it that way. Has he recently updated his phone

I switched this when my daughter was going through cancer diagnosis - didn’t want kids seeing texts. Wish I’d done it sooner in hindsight, it’s nice that work colleagues can’t see messages from home etc.
Also - there’s nothing on my phone that’s secret from my husband - but there are things I’d rather he didn’t see as the start of a casual text. Nothing suspicious at all but things like silly chat with (female) friends and sometimes quite personal things about them that they’ve shared

I do this too - seeing half a message as a notification just annoys me and can be distracting.

TBH if you think this is dodgy and seeing the first line of messages would somehow put your mind at ease, then perhaps you should consider why you feel like this? Presumably if you're noticing that DH has notifications, this means he is casually leaving his phone about - not generally the actions of someone who is trying to hide something.

would you really not notice though?

No

I have no idea how she has her phone set up

Have you any other cause for concern OP?

I've just changed my phone to an iPhone 11 and mine does this automatically. It might not be an intentional change

would you really not notice though? Obviously he leaves his phone lying about and I see if light up with a notification now and then. It’s impossible not to notice that he’s changed the settings

Unless you actively look at the phone when it lights up with a notification, of course it’s possible not to notice. Why are you so desperate to know what’s in his messages?

Maybe he set it like that because he’s sick of you ‘just happening’ to notice his messages.

I have turned all notifications off on my phone because otherwise it will pinging and buzzing every few minutes.

I did that because I didn’t want people in work meetings etc seeing a message pop up (I have to leave my phone out). Might be something as innocent as that.

Does he have an iPhone? I do this so I don’t have to read Apple’s constant spamming notifications. I get about 10 a day at the moment reminding me to sign up to Apple Pay. I don’t want Apple Pay and I can’t turn them off.

Also I changed it about two months ago. My husband either hasn’t noticed or more likely doesn’t care. I have no idea what his phone is set to.