to want my DH to walk with me

[fit4more]

Just that really. We were walking back from a friends house last night and we are chatting, mid conversation, strolling home, with kids, everybody on the same side of the road when he’s off....across the road to the other side. Normally I’d follow him because we are mid convo and suddenly he’s leading the way. Then I realised that this happens all the time. When we are out, even on a date, he’s walking 4 paces in front of me. It’s like follow the leader. I’m a quick walker so I’m not a slow coach. I’m just struggling to understand why he does it. I’m finding it irritating. It feels a bit rude and it’s not exactly romantic/caring is it? I have said in the past about it but it’s not changing. I’d like others opinions please.

Tell him often enough so that it eventually penetrates his brain.

I find it very rude, OP.

Every time he does it say can you walk with me please.

That is really rude. YANBU.

Ha, I have same problem, he will be 20 paces in front, even when I was 40 weeks pregnant limping down the hospital corridor I had to yell for him to wait. So bloody annoying.

Get a bag of treats... and a clicker. Call his name and when he comes back, give him a treat and click the clicker. Tell him he’s a good boy, and repeat when he wanders off again. In a short while he should stay safely by your side.
Or, tell him he’s behaving like a poorly-socialized Labrador and if he doesn’t get his shit together you’ll take him to the vet and get him neutered.

We do that but only because one of us has the dickhead dog while the other has the slowpoke dog. When we walk without the dogs i usually have my armt through his which makes him keep pace.

Reading replies with interest. Love the idea of puppy training 🤣

My DF used to do this all the time and my DM hated it. Now my DB does it to DSIL and my DH moves at pace, all are/were in the army and used to 'marching' everywhere. Is your DH in the military? Just trying to offer an alternative perspective.

Still annoying though and I deliberately walk slower which 'checks' my DH into falling back with me.

dh was in the army. As was I. The reason he gets ahead of me is he’s a foot taller with longer legs though. I just tell him to slow (the fuck) down. ‘You in a hurry?’ is pretty common. It pisses me off when he does it to dd2 who is disabled. I deliberately slow down further to walk with her and throw my hands in the air and say ‘really?’ when he eventually notices.
He wouldn’t cross the road without me though. That’s dickish.

My FIL does this, expects everyone to just follow him ASAP, he gets out of the car, waits for no one and starts walking off. My MIL just hurries everyone to catch up.

I don't hurry and will purposely just stop to look in shops etc, if he wants to be a rude dickhead then he can be a rude dickhead all by himself, my husband followed suit and no longer chases him either.

Have you pointed it out to him and asked why he does it?

My DH does this too. When we are alone I either hook my arm through his or ask him nicely to slow down.

When we've got the kids though? He and the elder 2 are off like a shot and I'm left at the back with the littlest. We spend a day in Paris like this and I went mental. Its rude.

@justilou1 hilarious

Rude and controlling. I would turn around and start walking the other way.

I often just stop and wait. He can come back to rejoin us when he notices, then we can get moving again.

It's extremely rude. It's one thing to have mismatched paces, but it's another thing entirely to cross the fecking road and leave you all behind! Were you expected to just follow him like good little ducklings??

Fuck that.

I have troubles walking with DH because I have back and hip problems and have to walk at a certain pace to stop them hurting - he seems unable to match it, either going faster or slower - but he wouldn't cross the road mid-conversation, and if he's going faster he'll stop and wait, similarly if I'm going faster I'll stop and wait for him.

Your situation sounds ridiculous! Does he ever look round to see where you've got to?

Mine walks 15 paces behind. It drive me mental. A nice family outing is always me leading and getting narked he won't stay together. ....

My DH does this. He’s much taller than me so has a much longer stride. He finds it difficult to shorten his stride to walk at my pace. Thankfully we don’t walk together very often otherwise it’d give me the rage!

My husband also does this. He claims my walking pace is too slow. It's inherently annoying.

Mine doesn't go ahead but he does cut straight in front of me even if the way is clear. Drives me nuts though it has improved since I started "accidentally" stepping on his heels.

YANBU OP. I would stop rejoining him and make him come back to you.

Unfamousposter - my boys both used to do that too! I warned them numerous times that if they continued to do it they would get either trodden on or kicked - they've both suffered as a result over the years! When no.2 was still in a pushchair, no.1 would wander in front of that too sometimes (5y older) - I think that took only a couple of times of being clipped on the back of the heels before he learnt.

Can't believe how many women are excusing their husbands height as making this acceptable!

My DH is almost a foot taller than me and would never in a million years do this, because he's not a self absorbed arsehole!

It was always the other way round when I was with my ex husband. I walk very fast and he walks slowly. It was really annoying having to slow down to match his pace.

I wonder what’s behind this behaviour...? My husband does it at times but my DB has always done it. Every time. Even when we were little he would be walking ahead of all of us. He now does it with his own family. I’m certain he’s trying to make a point, just not sure what it could be.

So.

If it is all about the longer legs and stride, why is it that billions of us women are perfectly capable of walking at the same pace as our toddlers? Hmmmm.