AIBU? food bank cheeky fucker?

[Zoofiller]

Before I get my ass handed to me.....

Disclaimer: I believe strongly in food banks, my job relies on their excellent work, I donate occasionally and recognise that all people from all walks of life can get caught out with unexpected bills/Enough money to make ends meet.

It may be affecting my judgement as I work with homeless people who have absolutely nothing.

I have an acquaintance who is well know for being beyond tight. Eg. Down the curry house will order & pay for £4 veg dish only, eat everyone else’s food and refuse to split costs. She has been challenged on this.

She claims constant poverty (which we all used to give sympathy to), all whilst seemingly going on a weekend away every couple of months, eating out weekly, a luxury holiday this year, home renovations, concerts and recently drinks and Christmas shopping in a big city. (FB tags)

However, she has stated that she has a system to work the food bank. In this area you can claim 3 times a year. So she has stated that she is rotating between different children’s centres and the school to keep getting food vouchers.

I have distanced myself and am trying to ignore but.....

Am I being unreasonable to be irked about her using the food bank in this manner?

There will always be greedy people who believe that they are bucking the system and that they are clever to do so. Yesterday, in a tv news item, a hard up mother, leaving a food bank, stated she would be voting Brexit. Turkey. Christmas.

Puzzled Observer .I too wonder about this TBH. I thought there were things in place to stop fraud like this .Do you think she is getting some financial help from her family ,Maybe she has overspent and is in debt,or had a recent pay cut?There must be some reason or she would be unable to access them

Some people seem to have problems managing their money for various reasons .Should their families go hungry because of it? I would say most people who use a foodbank are in desperate need ,and use it as a last resort anyway.This kind of thread saddens me ,as it reminds me of how people on free school dinners/Council flats/second hand clothing etc get treated and looked down on.We should thank our lucky stars its not us in the queue !

@Onescaredmuma

O great 👍

It really wasn’t meant to be my intention to put people off donating. Hopefully I can balance this by saying that I’ve been in my job for 7 years, we rely on the food bank weekly.

Probably thousands of people that we’ve seen have benefited from this support. Not only food but sanpro supplies.

Please keep donating, it’s only 1 person out of thousands (and I’m sure millions nationwide) that bugged just me.

The foodbank are collecting this weekend in Tesco, please give them a donation.

Please visit the Trussell Trust website too to see their Christmas appeal.

Children shouldn’t face poverty at any time of the year but especially at Christmas.

I’m not sure if the foodbank are accepting Christmas presents for children - can anyone clarify?

Food banks by me are accepting hats, gloves, coats etc

Report her!, to think a family could have gone hungry an she can take advantage and work this system!.

She would also no longer be a friend.

Oh stop it, EmbarrassedMum, you're just enjoying yourself and I doubt you have a clue how foodbanks actually work.

OP, I know this wasn't your intention but this is what your thread has wrought. Posters like ^, rubbing their thighs in gleeful discust^.

If you work in Foodbanks then discuss with your colleagues, perhaps and ensure fairness in distribution rather than pointless attempts at policing.

Oh, you rely on the food bank weekly, OP. Then you of all people should know that you need a referral. I also don't believe anyone would access that service for the shits and giggles. Not for one second. So like I said earlier, you either don't know the full facts of your friend's circumstances or maybe she was trying to make you feel better about relying on the food banks by saying she has used them, too.

It's not even a friend - OP stated that - it's an 'acquaintance. I don't believe OP or anyone else here has the facts and, if I worked in foodbanks, I'd be really annoyed at the damage being done by wide-eyed gossip-mongers.

How would an acquaintance even know about what curry this woman orders down the pub, or that she has 'stated' somewhere that she has a system in place to exploit food bank donations? What a load of stirring crap.

I agree with you btw lying, it didn't really come across that way in my last post!

Thanks! Yet another post here that ends up with a number of pp posting This is why I don't donate to my foodbank anymore. Very few are genuine but a heck of a lot of them just abuse it. and similar.

As I have said before, like others here, I have long worked and now volunteer in a local food bank. At the moment we are desperate to re-stock before the weather really turns, the recent floods have increased usage exponentially!

The chances of someone receiving food bags for an extended period of time from any foodbank, Trussell, chuch or community, are really slim. We all work together, communicate regularly and have pretty rigorous referral processes. It is possible to receive food without a referral, but that happens very rarely and is usually someone in extremis.

Whether the OP is true or not, the outcome is dispiriting! Yet again there are people who will consider turning away from those in dire need because of tales of people taking advantage!

A lot of people do this. Locally the foodback is often referred to as Waitrose Outlet as it totally doesn’t help the type of people it needs to. Please, have a re-think! That 'local perspective' is probably severley harming the usefulness of your local food bank. We had similar issues about 5 years ago when a well meaning yet uninformed councillor observed what she thought was a well off woman receiving donations. Had we been able to tell her the truth abut that client we could have averted months of similarly misinformed gossip.

Until you work with a foodbank you can have no idea of the width of need in your local area. None. So stop judging. Offer a helping or please, just keep your mouth shut!

It really wasn’t meant to be my intention to put people off donating. Hopefully I can balance this by saying that I’ve been in my job for 7 years, we rely on the food bank weekly.

No, that really doesn't 'balance' it at all.

I agree 100% with Lying

@loubieloo4 generally supermarkets that donate to foodbanks have a white/black board at the entrance with the most needed items on. This time of year I know they really appreciate advent calendars, tins/boxes of sweets, christmas puddings, mince pies, crackers for cheese, sharing crisps (like Pringles)...stuff that most people have as snack-y bits at Christmas. And as I volunteer to do pick up for food banks, I know for a fact its not all "basics" "smart price" and "value" ranges, in fact the one I pick up for its rare to find items from those ranges! Most people donate branded items, and maybe a quarter is the shop's own brand.

@Sagradafamiliar I did know her, I did eat with her and did listen to her. She was part of a friendship group.

I have since distanced myself as I believe that she is particularly entitled and uses all sorts of charity from churches, friends and pro charities to prop up her lifestyle.

Weekly lifestyle being beyond what I can afford.

She is a unique individual for sure but apparently I can’t judge her for being unable to budget repeatedly.

Just to reiterate this thread was intended to be about her and what I should do if anything including keeping my beak out if advised.

Foodbanks are not handing out chocolate advent calendars, for various reasons. There's a whole other thread on that with actual facts.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3750600-To-tell-you-about-a-nice-idea-that-s-easy-to-do-Food-bank-related

I really dislike the term 'virtue signalling' but that's what this is sounding like from quite a few posters on this thread and it does damage to the brilliant work that foodbanks do every day of the year.

Ah well you are entitled to your opinion @WorraLiberty @LyingWitchInTheWardrobe and @Sagradafamiliar and I am entitled to mine.

People are allowed to debate stuff on the internet and come to their own conclusions.

This debate has turned a bit pointless now as you’ve accused me of not having the full facts but then neither have you.

I think you are just trying to draw me into an argument for the fun of it which is drawing out this thread and adding to what you perceive is negative attention for the food banks.

It’s Sunday, go out and have fun!

That's a rather poor attempt at trying to scrape some credibility into your thread OP.

There are cheeky fuckers in all walks of life. There are enough benefit bashing threads on here for example that prove that. They have a similar feel of fake 'concern' and wide-eyed innocence by the OPs, when it's pointed out that they do absolutely nothing for the millions of decent, honest benefit claimants.

The only thing that's different about this thread is that the subject is foodbanks.

Also MrsTerryPratchett's post.

Amen to that, Worra!

People are allowed to debate stuff

Agreed, which is why I posted my opinion.

Neither have you (the full facts)

Which is why we can't judge.

She is a penny pincher. Loads of them about.
She skrimps by and looks after all those pennies without a thought to anyone else, so she has a shit load sitting in the bank and can afford whatever she wants. I.e. her lavish holidays.

Call her out. The people in NEED of the food bank should be the people getting it. Not your tight arse mate.

Whoops sorry didn't read the full thread. Only the OP. Take back my words now.