AIBU? food bank cheeky fucker?

[Zoofiller]

Before I get my ass handed to me.....

Disclaimer: I believe strongly in food banks, my job relies on their excellent work, I donate occasionally and recognise that all people from all walks of life can get caught out with unexpected bills/Enough money to make ends meet.

It may be affecting my judgement as I work with homeless people who have absolutely nothing.

I have an acquaintance who is well know for being beyond tight. Eg. Down the curry house will order & pay for £4 veg dish only, eat everyone else’s food and refuse to split costs. She has been challenged on this.

She claims constant poverty (which we all used to give sympathy to), all whilst seemingly going on a weekend away every couple of months, eating out weekly, a luxury holiday this year, home renovations, concerts and recently drinks and Christmas shopping in a big city. (FB tags)

However, she has stated that she has a system to work the food bank. In this area you can claim 3 times a year. So she has stated that she is rotating between different children’s centres and the school to keep getting food vouchers.

I have distanced myself and am trying to ignore but.....

Am I being unreasonable to be irked about her using the food bank in this manner?

A lot of people do this. Locally the foodback is often referred to as Waitrose Outlet as it totally doesn’t help the type of people it needs to.

I can't believe someone who works with the homeless and knows how important food banks are, would start a thread like this.

Am I being unreasonable to be irked about her using the food bank in this manner?

Well d'uh! What do you think?

It's a silly question that you absolutely don't have to ask, yet this sort of thing will put people off of donating.

Why on earth would you do that?

I’m with @WorraLiberty and I doubt your motives OP.

Certainly in our area, there is no "trigger" to Social Services for foodbank use. Nor should there be, demonising parents because the government give them so little to live on :(

Let the food banks know. I know of people who do this. The food banks will stop them

Don't believe you have the full facts.

Um ...yanbu...she obviously needs to manage her money better...

All pre-conceived ideas about them need to be thrown out the window. It has been such an eye opener. I have literally put food bags into the back of an M5 BMW for a client who was given a voucher because she was finding nappies and wipes expensive with twins.

My sister ended up in a position of using foodbanks and had a decent car and iphone. In the space of a couple of months she went from living with a partner to being single and being made redundant suddenly.

The phone had been a gift from her ex partner, she needed to keep the car to find employment as she lives in a fairly rural area with very limited options.

She got agency work for Amazon the got paid off again, not her fault that's how they operate. IN the period of a few months till she got a decent job again she bounced on and off universal credit leaving her in loads of debt.

Appearances can be deceptive.

The person in question is sub human...lower than a snakes belly.How anyone can be acquaintances with that never mind having it in a friendship circle is beyond me.She sounds like a total waste of skin OP.
I apologise I only read page one but my blood began to boil ..will go back now and read the rest.

I hope you will report get OP. I can't believe that you are 'considering' doing so.

@WorraLiberty & @Etinox fair point but unintentional.

Not my intention to affect contributions or start a political debate.

I was angry with a person who I considered to have misused charity, I recognised my bias & posted on an anonymous forum for advice. I got it & am grateful, even for yours - it’s all useful.

My motivation? As described but I can see reading back that you might think otherwise.

You can draw your own opinion I guess.

I'd totally report, lowest of the low!

You really had to ask if you were being unreasonable?

Ok

It SF order put me off donating tbh. I’ve always been of the opinion I’d rather be taken the piss out of 9 times than miss the 1 needy case. If people rob a food bank which basically what this I could not be friends with them. If everyone oustrised her the message might sink in

@WorraLiberty

Not sure what you mean. This being an anonymous Internet forum where people ask weird stuff all the time.

Theses people on here who say they know people who do this, why don't you report them?

Disclaimer not a troll, journo or politician. Is this what is being suggested?

I would tell the food bank and centres she's a scammar. Terrible behaviour.

Are people only allowed to use foodbanks three times a year? I am shocked and clearly naive as I thought people could come back regularly. That s really sad.

I don't understand how you can be given free food without some sort of proof that you need it. But then not sure how you can prove it either, no one is going to come around and check your cupboards.

I agree with a PP, I'm on a very very low income and I struggle, but I do small shops at Aldi every week and am usually okay. I have donated and it's put me right off.

YANBU remind me again why you associate with this free loading douche bag?

That makes me so angry. Yesterday I had a family in my office begging for help, I had nothing (we don't run a food bank) and the city food bank doesn't open Fridays. (Thankfully our colleagues at the gudwara provided them with a hot meal yesterday and food for today and tomorrow, and the night shelter provided cereal, milk, bread, spread and jam. On Monday a volunteer is picking them up, taking the kids to school (they couldn't afford the petrol yesterday) taking the mum to the food bank and they have a £10 Morrison's voucher for them to buy petrol

Why would you want to be friends with such a dreadful person 🤔

OneKeyAtATime air depends who runs it. My local chapel runs one and those in need can go every week and they have no need to show any documentation to prove they receive benefits. My friend who volunteers at it, said it’s to ensure that anyone who falls through the cracks, such as the working poor are also helped. There are those who appear to take advantage (a minority) however the priest believes that no one should judge and if you need to risk handing over food to someone who doesn’t need it, it’s worth it to ensure that all that do, don’t miss out. In other words l, you can’t really judge on who needs help, by looking at them.

@stucknoue yes that’s the kind of stuff I deal with. So hence my anger.

I was prepared to be told AIBU due to possibly not having full picture. Eg financial abuse from partner, all walks of life need occasional help etc.

As it happens, I think the matter has been taken out of my hands by other people.

No I won’t be seeing this person again