AIBU? food bank cheeky fucker?

[Zoofiller]

Before I get my ass handed to me.....

Disclaimer: I believe strongly in food banks, my job relies on their excellent work, I donate occasionally and recognise that all people from all walks of life can get caught out with unexpected bills/Enough money to make ends meet.

It may be affecting my judgement as I work with homeless people who have absolutely nothing.

I have an acquaintance who is well know for being beyond tight. Eg. Down the curry house will order & pay for £4 veg dish only, eat everyone else’s food and refuse to split costs. She has been challenged on this.

She claims constant poverty (which we all used to give sympathy to), all whilst seemingly going on a weekend away every couple of months, eating out weekly, a luxury holiday this year, home renovations, concerts and recently drinks and Christmas shopping in a big city. (FB tags)

However, she has stated that she has a system to work the food bank. In this area you can claim 3 times a year. So she has stated that she is rotating between different children’s centres and the school to keep getting food vouchers.

I have distanced myself and am trying to ignore but.....

Am I being unreasonable to be irked about her using the food bank in this manner?

Why pm you their details?! @LittleOwl153

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe
There are always people who take advantage but better that then somebody in real need gets refused help that they need.

but that's exactly the opposite!

She is stealing food from people who desperately need it
and putting people off donating.

it's the ones who need help who are losing out in this scenario.
OP of course you should report it. Let's be honest, if you know of a fraud of any kind and do nothing, you become guilty of it too.

This is the tussle.....

I may not know the full picture. There may be lies in some direction. Everyone gets caught out etc.

And believe me I’ve thought am I being a bit ‘people on benefits’ shouldn’t have nice stuff.

Yet I feel so angry about it when I think of the people that I work with.......

To the person who said I’m in the wrong job - maybe I am!! It does tend to give you a bitter view of the world when you see people with no family, no place to go and no food to eat. It does tend to affect my outlook!

Sometimes I see myself as defender of resources for these people - I guess that isn’t my role at all.

Yes maybe you’re right, keep well out of it. Distance myself. Yep I will do

There are three found banks within a short drive from me. Each are run by different agencies, one by a Methodist church, one by a Catholic Church and the other is Trussel food bank, so I can believe that someone can do this. My friend volunteers and the vast majority are those in need, but you will get the scammer in any situation where there is something for free. It’s very difficult to prove, though and the one he works in say they never judge as you don’t really know the circumstances. He says he dies, because the fuckers are taking stuff that others need and taking from people like me who donate for those truly in need.

I’d do the faux “oh dear, my friend was just telling me about how SS get involved if things look really difficult for a family, I really hope you don’t get reported” Or I’d simply screenshoot and send them to the food banks, but unfortunately I doubt if the food banks will actually take action. She’s the type of fucker who causes problems for the majority or users that are in real need.

Where I live, food bank vouchers are issued through a select few professionals such as social workers, or a health visitor. The qualifying criteria are linked to benefit entitlement or other signs of low income, which have to be proved by the applicant. Assuming this woman does get food bank donations, and she lives the lifestyle that she does...does it not sniff of benefit fraud, undeclared income etc. As far as I am aware, universal credit is a top up to afford the basic minimum need, and not sufficient to pay for a lavish lifestyle. There could be bigger issues than a food bank fiddle going on here, including undisclosed employment or criminal activity.

To be honest. It’s not really possible to have a system like this that isn’t capable of being defrauded if you really want to.

It’s annoying and I’d think she’s a twat but not give it anymore headspace than that tbh

I’d never judge someone with a nice car as they may still be struggling and it may be a mobility car that they genuinely need, as I did when my husband was terminally ill and needing twice or more weekly treatment. At that time I could use the car but buying food was incredibly difficult, as I also have a disabled young adult to care for.

@Verawankbag because I have access go the database. I will check the details and if as reported this individual is a serial user I can flag to the foodbank(s) being used.

Offered as an alternative to the OP flagging themselves.

Really all the OP needs to do is to phone the number of the website of one of the foodbanks this individual is using, state the users name and postcode and say they suspect they are gaining multiple vouchers for multiple sites. The foodbank will take it from there. So e folks forget that foodbanks across an area do talk to each other. And the majority (trussell trust ones) share a database so linkages are easily made. If this user is as the OP describes the her details will be flagged to all the area banks - trussell not!

Not my circus, not my monkies [sic]

I take it you're not familiar with the concept of social responsibility, then?

And can be done as an ansaphine message no need to speak to anyone.

Food bank criteria is being on low income. This can mean anything. Some people think they are on a low income when they just dont prioritise their bills.
There are lots of cfs but i will continue to donate because some are genuine. I think its down to staff to run it properly.. its tricky though because you dont want to put your foot in it if there is an explanation for the bmw... there are some addicts who resell food bank items for cash..

YANBU.

I had a girl I used to go to uni with do similar. She had a better paid job than me, had only herself to support, lived in a cheap area of the city, etc. She constantly put on SM her ordering takeaways (and not cheap ones, full on Domino's which would be over £20), went out drinking, constant trips on planes to see friends, etc, yet pled poverty and said she needed to use a food bank. She didn't need to use one- she was just stupid with her money and then when she ran out, she went. She had no mortgage, no car bills, her job was walking distance from her flat so no travel/commuting fees, and her (very cheap and reasonable) rent was all inclusive so no unexpected bills p/m, no one else to pay for, no health problems... literally no excuse to not be able to budget. (She was an avid over-sharer on SM, so I unwillingly became accustomed to knowing every detail of her life).

I deleted her. I couldn't listen to someone talking as much shite as she did every day. Constantly wanting sympathy for this or that, acting like she was the world's biggest victim. It was draining and frankly embarrassing to listen to.

People like that don't see outside of their own bubble. Definitely report her. Food banks are for people in need. Not for people who can't budget, or don't want to spend their pennies on food they need to prepare themselves.

I believe strongly in food banks

I don't. I think there very existence shames us as a society.

That said, unfortunately some people need them. They need to be easy to access, if that means some people abuse them, better that than people who DO need them can't. I just wouldn't be friends with this person and would let them know why.

@LittleOwl153 thanks for your advice.

I have been given a good range of advice including the more challenging posts which have been equally useful.

I will consider it all carefully before deciding what actions to take.

Thing is, she’s in danger of being referred to social services if she accessed the food bank more than a certain number of times. She will end up in more trouble than it’s worth!

Next times she tells you about this ask her how she feels about taking much needed items from the genuinely needy. The ones, who have absolutely nothing and are unable to feed themselves AT ALL without food banks!

Without trying to sound too dramatic, this is one of the worst cases of taking the absolute piss I have ever read!!!

This post now has me wondering how many others do this..... absolutely disgraceful.

@KenDodd yes fair cop - agreed no one should have to use them. I guess I meant I appreciate all the hard work that they do in the absence of full employment & a fully functioning benefits system

Yanbu, but I just can't get worked up over someone getting a litre of UHT milk and a few tins of value beans that they're not entitled to.

They're not stealing from me - I'm still donating to our local food bank, my DH and DM are still volunteering with them. There's not a limited number of parcels - and when they run low people can and do donate specific items to make up.

If someone is really willing to put in the time and effort to get free pasta and a tin of peaches... Well, frankly, there's worse happening in any given estate agency any day of the week.

Food bank selection is so basic... it's just, why would you rely on those parcels when it's rarely the nice versions of anything?

I'm a total miser but I can't get this at all. Food is too important to eat heavily from the 'Basics' range.

I'd find a way to report her. What a bitch.

Report her to whoever you can. I'm not by nature a grass but this is awful.

theEnglishPatient, I won't disagree with you but will tell you that that's not my experience. I don't work directly in a foodbank but because of the work I do, I have indirect contact and it seems to work like this:

1. Cheeky people attend - with vouchers - and take everything that they can.
2. People who need to attend - who have vouchers - attend and take what they need with maybe a few extras thrown in by the volunteers who get to know the families.
3. People who need to attend - would would be given the vouchers - are too ashamed to attend and do so as a very last resort.

1, 2 or 3 might drive good cars. It's not beyond the realms of imagination to realise that people can become very poor, very quickly. It doesn't take many life blows to achieve that either.

The OP is talking of somebody she doesn't know well, an acquaintance, and seemly has a lot of information yet has not acted on it. Instead of taking this up with the person concerned and warning them of imminent report (as it's apparently her job), she's posting about that person here and has a poster here asking for details of the other person concerned. That is disgraceful.

If I were in the trusted position that OP is, I would be very, very sure of my facts before blighting that person's ability to use food banks - and I sure as hell wouldn't be rounding up a pitchfork posse online.

I don’t know her personal circumstances but if she’s eating out regularly and admits to working the system then I’m if the opinion that she can afford to buy food herself without the help of the foodbank which is for those who really have no food at all.

I’ve donated to food banks, earn under £20k a year, donate to various charities by direct debit and buy clothes in charity shops rather than new, have credit card debit including food I couldn’t have bought without the credit card, and haven’t been able to afford a holiday even in the U.K. for 14 years - and I would be so fucked off to think that the sacrifices I am making to help others are helping her, someone who clearly has more than me. I’d be well putting her straight. If she doesn’t speak to you after she is no loss. She’s a greedy scammer. What goes around comes around. .

Budget for the family YOU CHOOSE to have ffs, then if circumstances change use a food bank a few times but quite frankly I doubt anyone continually needs to. Bar making crap choices.

In my line of work I work with People who use food banks and most of them need the help.
However your friend is very greedy, and Is taking advantage of peoples kindness in giving donations. This creature is taking food from people who need it. Report OP this needs stopping.