To think children don't need to be constantly grazing on food?

[UnderneathTheMangoTree]

I have a friend I usually see twice a week, we both have 2 DC each age 5 and 3.

She is constantly feeding the kids and it is getting on my nerves - it's mostly stuff like fruit purees, bread sticks, slices of plain white bread, plain biscuits. I get annoyed that my kids spend the afternoon eating mostly unhealthy food and then refuse their tea, which they normally love.

I have given up trying to stop them from eating the snacks she provides because she always insists on giving them the same amount she gives her DC. I have now even started taking similar snacks whenever we meet because I felt uncomfortable not offering any food except for fruit and a slice of bread and butter, which is what my kids normally have for a snack.

AIBU to think that 3 and 5 year olds don't need to be constantly grazing on food and that one smallish snack is enough to tide them over till tea? Or do I need to relax and accept that they are going to spend two afternoons a week grazing on food and then not eating anything at teatime?

Btw, my DC don't beg for food in the afternoons once they have had their fruit and bread and they are both on the 75th percentile for height and weight, so I am definitely not starving them!

[Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed]

My oldest boy is ravenous most of the time i tried limiting snacks. But he started crying and stealing food and hiding in the corner!! He was agitated i think of halt. Hungry, anxious tired lonely. But also thirsty. He knows he can have cheese fruit etc. Milk water. Some kids can be bloody vultures!!! My third dc is as well. Hanger is real.

[Glitteryone]

The nation seems to have become accustomed to kids snacking constantly!

We spend a lot of time at the kids sports clubs & activities and the amount of kids that come - for a one hour class might I add, armed with crisps, biscuits, chocolate bars, big £1 bags of sweets. It’s baffling.... Why can’t they cope for one hour without food?

[champagneandfromage50]

Glitteryone snacking is my pet hate. I saw it start with DC 3 and DP waiting at the school gates handing them food as they left. I have seen the snacks appear at my youngest rugby club. I was shocked to see DC running off during the water break asking there Parents for there snack and there it was. Eh? My DS asks me where his is and I always say he has water and he will get his food when he goes home.

[Skinnychip]

My DS school insisted that the kids had to bring a snack on the day they did swimming (even though he didnt want one)

[24hourshomeedderandcarer]

mine are 15 and 9 but both very big for their age

6ft2, 9st 8 and 5ft 3 10st 9(yes at just 9)(im a 6ft woman though)

because of disabilities they need to or want to eat constantly, been this way since birth

its constant snacks and 8-10 big sized home cooked meals a day

there is 4 of us but they eat like adults so i spend between 40-50 pound a day on food/milk as neither sleep and are HE so are eating 24/7

if the kids were full would they be eating the snacks in the first place?after a few days of wasted food your friend would give up so as they are eating it shows they want it

[likeafishneedsabike]

I really get this. We only eat fruit between meals because I actually WANT us to be hungry at mealtimes! However, when we are with friends all nature of snacks are produced and kindly shared. I accept it, but then again we don’t hang out with friends two days a week.
For those saying the problem will stop once they start school, I’m afraid not. Kids take all sorts of crap in with them for break/lunch and are then greeted at 3pm with more crap. We have one of the biggest obesity problems in the UK in my area.

[bridgetreilly]

I think it's a really unhelpful habit to be forming in children. Even if it isn't making them overweight now, it's going to make it much harder for them to develop normal, healthy eating habits when they get older. No one needs to be eating all the time, and it's good for everyone to learn what it feels like to be hungry just before a meal time.

[AwdBovril]

We stopped giving / offering snacks to DD (7) when she was about 18 months old. (The exception being when she’s ill.) Most of her classmates get food pushed into their hands as soon as they get out of the school doors. She is one of the tallest in her year, despite being one of the youngest, she’s relentlessly energetic, almost never ill, & has really thick nails & hair (apparently indicators of good health).

[redappleandaquamarinebow1987]

Not read the all the replies yet but I do think it very much depends on the type of snack and the size of the meal. It can actually be healthy to have 5 smaller meals and technically be grazing rather then 3 larger meals. For example if you have a toast in the morning a fruit between breakfast and lunch, maybe a light sandwich for lunch, a yogurt as a snack between lunch and dinner followed by a small portion of a meal for dinner would sound fine. Depending on how long it takes a person to eat it could appear as if they are constantly grazing.

[UnderneathTheMangoTree]

if the kids were full would they be eating the snacks in the first place?after a few days of wasted food your friend would give up so as they are eating it shows they want it
My friend complains a lot that her DC don't eat much at mealtimes. So they could easily do without the snacks and have a decent tea instead.
Just because they eat the food doesn't mean they are really hungry - maybe just a little peckish, or not even that but the snacks are enticing so they'll eat them anyway.

[malificent7]

I get comfort from seeing my dd eat as i used to have an eating disorder...makes me feel happy she has a good appetite...just bring along healthier options like carrot sticks etc.

[Ylvamoon]

I am with you OP. Grazing at their age can lead to obesity.
I have a nephew who used to graze as toddler & small child. His mum always had some food available for him.
Now age 10 I finally have stopped taking him out with us as he is always coming with a goody bag full of sweet and savory treats (crisps, chocolate bars, sweets, fizzy drinks, ...) He doesn't play or interact with my DC (same age) as he always has something in his mouth or his hands in said bag. He doesn't share his treats and is overweight.

[maddiemookins16mum]

MN is ‘odd’ when it comes to feeding children.
There was someone on here a few years ago who proudly boasted that for her and 3 kids under 12 she’d use
16 sausages
24 waffles and 3 tins of beans.
Then there’s the often quoted view that hungry teens should basically be allowed 3 huge bowls of pasta AFTER their evening meal.
‘Back in the day’....we had breakfast, perhaps a glass of squash and two malted milk during Playschool followed by lunch and tea.
Parents seem to pack snacks to even pop to post a letter these days.
And as for the ‘if I didn’t take little Tyler a sandwich to eat during the 15 min walk home from school, he’d be hangry’. 😫😫

[champagneandfromage50]

24hourshomeedderandcarer your whole family must be obese if you eat those quantities of food. Your DC aged 9 I feel sorry for them being that heavy. Prada Willi is the only syndrome I am aware of which causes an increase in appetite. However the guidance isn’t to simply allow them to eat and eat. There is a recognition it is a battle to manage however I worry your DC are being set up for diabetes or other health conditions if your allowing them to eat like adults. Also to suggest DC wouldn’t eat the food if they are full is naive. Why do you think we have obesity issue in this country? It’s not because DC aren’t full it’s because they over eat.

[spanglydangly]

Snacking for a child who won't eat meals is ridiculous!

[Busybeebeebee]

My friend is the same, she used to make me feel as if I was starving my children but genuinely they just don’t snack. I mean if they’re offered a chocolate biscuit of course they won’t refuse but to me that shouldn’t be a snack, it should be a treat occasionally.

[ItMustBeBedtimeSurely]

I will second what someone up thread said - all the parents I know who subscribed to the philosophy of letting children regulate their own snacking and who provided as many snacks as they wanted may have had slim little kids but now they're pre teen they are putting on weight fast.

It's also not healthy to eat little and often - the human body needs periods of fasting to function well ie. Overnight and between meals.

[milveycrohn]

This 'snack' thing is a modern concept.
When I was a child, snacking was unheard of. We ate breakfast, lunch and tea.
Similarly, this is what my own children had.
Not sure when this 'snacking' thing started really

[PsuedoSatisfactionBaby]

YANBU...I find ‘snack culture’ irritating...even more irritating when my kids start whining because everyone else is getting ‘treats’ for no apparent reason (especially halfway through a toddler class/ end of toddler class - FGS the classes only last 30 mins! They are not going to bloody starve!). Is hard but be consistent. And we wonder why kids are tending more towards obesity at an earlier age...

[feelingverylazytoday]

Not sure when this snacking thing started really
My youngest child is 19, and I was never aware of it. Myself and the mothers I knew simply couldn't afford extra food for snacks. The most they got was an ice pole or lolly in the summer when they were playing out, or maybe a couple of bourbons or something.
If you did an 'activity' such as soft play or going to the pictures then that was the treat.
As for the OP, if it's only twice a week and you and the kids enjoy it, I would carry on and just give your child a smaller tea. Socialising is important too.

[Passthecherrycoke]

“Not sure when this snacking thing started really”

Elevensees?

[1300cakes]

I would hate this but I wouldn't want to make things awkward with my friend. I would just plan to have a small simple dinner that night.

[Dontdisturbmenow]

I'm an adult grazer. I eat all the time. I was brought up with three meals a day and no snacks. I started when I moved out.

I'm healthy though as I eat little and healthily and am very active. My oh is a three meals a day person, small portions and is also very healthy.

I wish I was like him though as I'm thinking of food all the time.

[Yerroblemom1923]

I think it boils down to the fact that while it won't do any harm for toddlers to be hungry, a hungry toddler will probably kick off and to reduce the embarrassment parent produces a snack. I went everywhere with a banana....seemed less likely to get "the look" of judging peeps.

[caranconnor]

It used to be normal in Britain to only eat three meals with a maybe 1 snack. I think being actually hungry during part of every day helps with regulating appetite.