To think children don't need to be constantly grazing on food?

[UnderneathTheMangoTree]

I have a friend I usually see twice a week, we both have 2 DC each age 5 and 3.

She is constantly feeding the kids and it is getting on my nerves - it's mostly stuff like fruit purees, bread sticks, slices of plain white bread, plain biscuits. I get annoyed that my kids spend the afternoon eating mostly unhealthy food and then refuse their tea, which they normally love.

I have given up trying to stop them from eating the snacks she provides because she always insists on giving them the same amount she gives her DC. I have now even started taking similar snacks whenever we meet because I felt uncomfortable not offering any food except for fruit and a slice of bread and butter, which is what my kids normally have for a snack.

AIBU to think that 3 and 5 year olds don't need to be constantly grazing on food and that one smallish snack is enough to tide them over till tea? Or do I need to relax and accept that they are going to spend two afternoons a week grazing on food and then not eating anything at teatime?

Btw, my DC don't beg for food in the afternoons once they have had their fruit and bread and they are both on the 75th percentile for height and weight, so I am definitely not starving them!

Same with this
Snacking isn't a good habit in my opinion. If you need to eat then eat, a proper amount so that you're not hungry any more, don't snack!

It is better for your metabolism to have smaller meals more frequently, not to “fill up” only during main meals.

Children go through periods of growth or fighting an illness when their appetite changes and they are able to regulate that.

Set meal times are not the natural way. They are convenient sure, but my DC eats a lot on the morning and then a few snacks throughout the day and sometimes a big lunch or sometimes dinner is bigger instead.

I had this. Yes it's annoying. I solved it by giving mine a tiny breakfast then their main meal early, before we went to Snacky Friend.

Then they didn't have the same appetite for the shit but I knew they were full of goodness.

For tea they just needed crackers and cheese, a bit of fruit or whatever.

Autumn eating little and often is one thing, constant, and I mean constant, grazing is another.

Well no, not constant as that is quite bad for teeth.
How can it be constant? Non stop?

I think some kids need 5 small meals a day instead of 3 bigger meals.

Or multiple snacks in between.

Some kids genuinely have small stomach capacity and so can’t finish a big meal in one go.

It can’t be constant. Lots of exaggerating on the thread, because it’s food which brings out all sorts of bizarre hyperbole and emotion on MN

I think some people, adults and children feel better grazing/snacking and others feel better having 3 meals a day and no snacks.

I think if she's a good/sensible friend she won't get offended if you say yours don't usually have biscuits or snacks or they won't eat at dinner time.

Me and my daughter both prefer to snack on smaller bits throughout the day than eat 'proper meals'. It's all quite healthy, fruit, veg, breadsticks, cheeses and yoghurts ect, neither of us are overweight it's just how we prefer to eat. The problem isn't really the constant grazing if that works for them, the problem is your friend insisting on your children doing the same when it obviously isn't what works best for you. Your children won't eat their dinner if they are snacking all day though and that's all you have to say to your friend and if she won't listen and ignores your rules then she really isn't that good of a friend.

It is better for your metabolism to have smaller meals more frequently, not to “fill up” only during main meals

Set meal times are not the natural way.

If this is indeed the case why do we now have a childhood obesity problem when in my childhood, three meals a day was the norm, snacking wasn’t a thing and an obese child was a rarity?

Apart from possible weight problems in the future .I was told by my Dentist to limit snacks for my DS when he was young, as it is detrimental to childrens teeth to keep snacking! Raisins especially are not good for teeth at all. And juice /purees and so on arent great either .Maybe cut down your visits a little ?

Do you think the increase in childhood obesity is from stacking then Alexa? That’s very simplistic

Different kids are different. My kids need persuading to eat most of the time, they usually just aren't that into it unless it's chocolatey shite but they have pals that eat ALL THE TIME, snacks, more snacks, meals, seconds. Sometimes growth spurts affect it, too. All of these kids are pretty healthy, not overweight, very active. I just don't think there's hard and fast rules.

Oh OP you’ve taken me back!
I posted on here years ago with the exact same problem.

Bi weekly play dates with DDs pal and the boys mother would hound the kids, even interrupting their games and calling them in from the garden to offer them “goodies” 🙄
She made me feel like an absolute food nazi and it couldn’t be further from the truth “oh it’s only a special treat, let her have some”
Eh no it’s not a special treat it’s two long afternoons a week with a conveyer belt of shite being poured into my DD and a dinner at home in the slow cooker that will go to waste!

The friendship naturally came to an end as we were very different people anyway and had very different parenting styles, which ordinarily would never bother me but the whole situation used to wind me up so much!

If this is indeed the case why do we now have a childhood obesity problem when in my childhood, three meals a day was the norm, snacking wasn’t a thing and an obese child was a rarity?
Portion size, lack of activity and more hours spent at school and clubs, processed food?

It varies. Mine have gone through phases of constant snacking and periods of only eating at mealtimes. They are pretty good at regulating their appetites, and are are both slim. It depends on things like growth spurts and activity levels. DD, in particular, who is tall, sometimes needed to eat a huge amount, while her shorter friends didn't.

Portion size, lack of activity and more hours spent at school and clubs, processed food?

Right - so why all the snacking then? According to you kids need less food then - so why feed them more on top of all these other obesity risk factors.

Right - so why all the snacking then? According to you kids need less food then - so why feed them more on top of all these other obesity risk factors.
You are missing the point

I don’t give my DC huge portions for main meals
He eats when he is hungry and that means smaller portions more often

Also it is not about “less food”
It is about quality and ingredients

And I was naming a few. The issue is more compñex

Complex

If this is indeed the case why do we now have a childhood obesity problem when in my childhood, three meals a day was the norm, snacking wasn’t a thing and an obese child was a rarity?

Yet we have plenty of obese adults from that generation, so it's clearly nowhere near as simplistic as that.

Depends on the kid. Mine doesn't stop, all day, and would be on the floor if not fed regularly. A friend with a child the same age is enormous in comparison (not overweight, just big) and they were the same as babies all the way through. Mine still eats almost constantly and remains a skinny thing (under 50th centile) but is also dairy free and has been since a baby. Makes a difference when they are little as cow's milk has a lot of fat, etc. in. Not that it's bad for kids with the fat - it's good for them. But I had same conversation with the dietician when he was younger as when was a toddler he ate all the time. She pointed out that grapes, breadsticks, etc. were no match for a lump of cheese (that he couldn't have) and to feed him some more calories.

I would also point out that I am slim and I eat almost constantly too. Harder the older I get, but basically I burn off food quickly and need a regular top up. DC seem to be the same.

Yet we have plenty of obese adults from that generation, so it's clearly nowhere near as simplistic as that.
Absolutely

Which is why I mentioned the studies talking about learning to self regulate appetite since newborns

Yet we have plenty of obese adults from that generation

What generation would that be? I don’t think I mentioned when my childhood was did I?

Cant you let your rules go a bit in someone else's house

Do you think the increase in childhood obesity is from stacking then Alexa? That’s very simplistic

Not just snacking. Being ferried about in cars. Sitting indoors on Playstations, X boxes rather than outside being active, being fed unhealthy foods. All of these contribute.