Neighbour ringing our doorbell in the middle of the night

[applesauce1]

Our neighbour has just rung our doorbell at 11:15 at night. It is the third time he has done this.

Back story: We have a motion activated flood light outside our house and a steep drive. He has previously complained that when it comes on, it shines into his bedroom window (despite it being pointed as far down as it goes and definitely not in the direction of his windows). In the summer, the light is always turned off as a neighbourly courtesy. Now it is darker earlier, I’ve turned it back on so I can get our baby safely down our steep drive in the dark when I get home from work. I turn the light off at the fuse box when I get in.
On three occasions (twice last winter and now tonight), I’ve forgotten to turn it off and he has come round to ring our bell. Once he rang the doorbell at 2am. Each time he has done it, he has woken our baby.

Tonight I actually went to the door and was extremely upset with him. I told him that I am trying my very best to remember to turn the light off at night but that he absolutely should not ring our doorbell at night as we have a baby trying to sleep. He started to shout at me about it shining through his window and that he would speak to his solicitor. I said I would call the police and that he should get some proper blinds or curtains.

He does have curtains but they are very raggedy and coming down in places.

I called 111 who offered to come out now as he is being a nuisance neighbour, but I asked if they would be able to come tomorrow instead as it would just further disturb my son.

Am I in the wrong? Should I have just apologised for forgetting to turn our light off? I’m still breastfeeding and up twice a night at least with our baby, so I know how it feels to be sleep deprived and I don’t want to be the cause of that for someone else.

I’m surprised the NHS cared about your light shining in the neighbours window.

Honestly OP if you wake him up he's in his rights to wake you up. Yeah you may forget to turn off the light, but can't you re position it or set it on a timer?

For all those saying that a black out blind would sort it:

GenderfreeJoe

I once had a neighbor who installed a sensor light in his back garden, several gardens across. He didn't think it impacted on me either due to the layout of the gardens. it woke me up ever single time it went off. Your neighbor wouldn't get up and ring on your doorbell for nothing. If you don't want him to do that, sort the light out. You are being very unreasonable.

I totally agree! I have exactly the same problem in our garden from a garden several houses farther away. AND we also have black out curtains. The light seeps through the sides. DH can sleep through. I will wake up but there is nothing I can do apart from tacking the curtain on the sides through the pull coord. I have to do it every night or else I can't sleep. The neighbours directly opposite us on the side of the street also have motion lights. But DCs can sleep without being bothered and hate drawing the curtains too!

People do not realise that a flood light can be visible several houses down the road. Also, animals coming into the garden or even steam/smoke from the boiler can constantly turn them on.

The value for me is being entertained on a boring train journey.

The value for you is having someone on the Internet to shout at because you clearly need it.

Are you OK?

This reminds me of that old joke.

My neighbour is so rude. He started banging on my door at 2am. Not only was it ridiculously late, but it disturbed my trombone practice.

Take the battery out of your door bell.

Does the light not go off again when there is no movement. I really don't understand how he is being woken up by a light briefly flicking on as a cat walks past and sets it off. He sounds very odd and unreasonable.

Also if he's getting aggressive I would call out police. We have toxic neighbours I sympathise

He sounds very odd and unreasonable.

For being repeatedly awaken and annoyed because of it? How rude and unreasonable of him, the CF!

No wonder there are so many neighbours wars when the world if full of so many selfish and inconsiderate idiots (talking about some of the posters here, not the OP!)

@ChardonnaysDistantCousin

The value for me is being entertained on a boring train journey.

I didn’t ask what value you’re getting, IDGAF!

I also explained what value you are getting out of this thread, and my contributions to it.

You seem to have missed it, rather conveniently.

Can't he just close the bloody curtains, the obstreperous arseache?

If I close our bedroom curtains, it wouldn't matter if there was a streetlamp, security light, floodlight, or you know, the sun, outside, it wouldn't be visible.

@ChardonnaysDistantCousin

I also explained what value you are getting out of this thread, and my contributions to it.

You seem to have missed it, rather conveniently.

No I ignored it because it’s irrelevant! Your contributions are pointless to the entire thread.

OP, you could probably buy a timer switch to plug in, cheaply from Amazon, and plug the light into that.

But you do seem very agitated and that’s a bit worrying.

Someone is bored and trying to go into a fight, posters should just ignore them instead of giving them the satisfaction of even reading their nonsense...

@ChardonnaysDistantCousin

Just annoyed at people like you who pile in on an OP because they’re bored on the train 🤷‍♀️

@TiceCream.. it’s been 5 years, his curtains are raggedy.. they need replaced, logically if a light bothered you you’d get ones that block the light. Properly fitting blackout blinds/curtains don’t have a halo of light round them. They’re in every room upstairs for us (worked night shift for years)

The sun comes up about half 4 in the summer.. that’s pretty early too. Probably more annoying than being awake at 11.

If someone comes to my door shouting like an oversized toddler I’m not going to pander to them. Be an adult be treated like one... if that makes me the wicked witch I’ll grab my broom.

I wonder if you're still reading op. Anyway well done for finding a solution so gracefully, he did have a point.

HOWEVER if it's not too late, don't be too apologetic in your note. The apology is sorting it out and frankly the sort of person who is prepared to bang on your door in the middle of the night is unlikely to have a complete change of attitude thanks to an apology. More likely to take a superior 'now do this' stance.

I say this as a lifelong apologiser by the way.

@shearwater obstreperous is an outstanding word. I had to look it up, but I will endeavour to use it three times today to embed it into my vocabulary. I will probably be using it to describe my own behaviour last night.
I’ve also sent messages to our immediate neighbours, who we are close with, apologising for raises voices late at night. They luckily didn’t hear anything, but I was definitely also being VU not thinking about our other neighbours when I got upset last night.

Oh. Too late. Oh well, good on you for sorting it.

@MrsFoxPlus4Again

I wouldn’t forget to turn it off after having a neighbour ring my doorbell and wake my baby up at 2am.

@Simkin My very wise father gave me the same advice. Not to be over apologetic and to keep it brief with the solution we are taking.
I just wrote that I apologised for our light having disturbed him, and that we have already ordered a new light which will be fitted in the next few days.
Thank you for your advice.

Well done OP.

We live on an estate where there is another street behind ours and our gardens back onto each others and one of the houses on the other street, several doors down (so not directly opposite) has a massive flood light in their garden and I'm not exaggerating when I say that it lights our entire house. It makes it seem as though someone has switched the bathroom light on. It's not pointing at us, it's just that bright, so I can see where he's coming from though I'd never do what he did!

Lunafortheloveogod

oh, so you are one of "those" neighbours.
In case you spectacularly missed the point, it's up to you NOT to be a nuisance, it's not up to your neighbours to try to find solutions around your rudeness.

Or move in the middle of nowhere where you choices affect no one.

Oh good, applesauce. I've got my smug 'wise' face on now!