Neighbour ringing our doorbell in the middle of the night

[applesauce1]

Our neighbour has just rung our doorbell at 11:15 at night. It is the third time he has done this.

Back story: We have a motion activated flood light outside our house and a steep drive. He has previously complained that when it comes on, it shines into his bedroom window (despite it being pointed as far down as it goes and definitely not in the direction of his windows). In the summer, the light is always turned off as a neighbourly courtesy. Now it is darker earlier, I’ve turned it back on so I can get our baby safely down our steep drive in the dark when I get home from work. I turn the light off at the fuse box when I get in.
On three occasions (twice last winter and now tonight), I’ve forgotten to turn it off and he has come round to ring our bell. Once he rang the doorbell at 2am. Each time he has done it, he has woken our baby.

Tonight I actually went to the door and was extremely upset with him. I told him that I am trying my very best to remember to turn the light off at night but that he absolutely should not ring our doorbell at night as we have a baby trying to sleep. He started to shout at me about it shining through his window and that he would speak to his solicitor. I said I would call the police and that he should get some proper blinds or curtains.

He does have curtains but they are very raggedy and coming down in places.

I called 111 who offered to come out now as he is being a nuisance neighbour, but I asked if they would be able to come tomorrow instead as it would just further disturb my son.

Am I in the wrong? Should I have just apologised for forgetting to turn our light off? I’m still breastfeeding and up twice a night at least with our baby, so I know how it feels to be sleep deprived and I don’t want to be the cause of that for someone else.

I sympathise with him. I find lights at night very intrusive, so much so that on a recent holiday I was out in the grounds of our resort in my dressing gown with a chair at 1pm, unscrewing some light bulbs shining into my bedroom! (not low level lights demarcating pathways before anyone reprimands me for being reckless, but ornamental spotlights pointing up into foliage. It was very pretty at 10pm but absolute torture at 2pm).

Well done for realising how bad this might be for him and ordering the timer OP. Hopefully good neighbourly relations will be resumed soon.

Well done on the OP for recognising the problem and solving it.
I'm amazed (not in a good way) at the people who think he shouldn't have rang the door bell because of a sleeping baby. Your baby sleeping is no one's problem but yours and it is plain wrong to expect other people to suffer through that night rather than potentially wake a baby. (not the OP - but the pp who try to validate that position in the calm light of day)

He has previously complained that when it comes on, it shines into his bedroom window (despite it being pointed as far down as it goes and definitely not in the direction of his windows).

Well the light is obviously shining in as he only comes hammering on your door when you have forgotten to switch the light off.

We have this problem from a house BEHIND the one opposite us. It shines down the hill straight into our bedroom.
It's awful.

Get a different light. YABU

Missed update... will catch up

Fucking flood lights. They should be illegal.

Why do you think your baby not being woken trump's his right to sleep undisturbed?

Get a different light if you can't remember to turn it off.

I'm not going to have a go at the OP as she has accepted there is an issue and is taking steps to sort it. Good for her. This is for the people still insisting the chap should install blackout blinds.

I have decent, as well fitted as possible blackout curtains and use an eye mask. This, in combination, didn't stop one opposite neighbour's security light, which was like something from Close Encounters and shone directly into my room, from waking me up on a regular basis. Thankfully, it suddenly stopped lighting up a few years back. I didn't complain myself because I couldn't work out which house or flat was responsible but I suspect it wasn't just me that was fed up with it.

Suggesting the OP dig her heels in when she was the one being un-neighbourly is not helpful. If someone were to suggest I could upgrade my curtains to stop their light disturbing my sleep, I'd be suggesting they get earplugs to stop my doorbell ringing disturbing theirs. And so, it escalates.

I wonder what will happen when it turns out this fella likes to have no curtains whatsoever, phones the police at the sun rising in summer, and bangs on neighbours doors when the slightest hint of light leaks over from any outdoor night light..

Yes, he might have a legitimate complaint, we have absolutely no idea.

He might also be an obstreperous arseface, who absolutely would march round and bang on someones door because they have noticed a security light go off once in a blue moon.

Anyway im off to write the council a shitty letter because I can see light from the street light near my window at night and it keeps me awake alllllllllllll night because I choose not to bother with curtains.

applesauce1 Put a hood over the light so it only shines on your garden. Problem solved.

Our lights are sufficient for us to see the drive, and the door. They are under the soffit and point downwards, they disturb no-one.

Someone 4 houses down, opposite us, put up one of those very bright searchlights at the front of their house and left it on. It lit the whole street. I only saw it once as they must have had complaints and had the decency to do something about it.

There is no need to have such a bright light. It is very inconsiderate, and he is allowed to have whatever curtains he wants, even blackout ones let light in around the edges and at the top.

We all need yo love our neighbours. If I do something to pi $$ my neighbours we have to compromise. So one suggestion here is to get a less powerful light or put a fence up. My neighbour has one of these lights and it just randomly comes on.

As someone has suggested - put a hood over the light.

We had a similar situation (without the baby). We made a hood out of bacofoil so the light does not shine into neigbours bedroom. Took less than a half-hour to do. Neighbour is now very happy.

My neighbour is so rude. He started banging on my door at 2am. Not only was it ridiculously late, but it disturbed my trombone practice

I think you both need to comprising.
He better curtains/blinds and you a different style light or placement.
Next door to us put a security light up right next there boiler outlet. Its a downward pointing light, but shines right into our upstairs landing window and into the bedroom, Constantly going off and on as it's triggered by the hot air/Steam coming out the vent. We got blinds. Because in the long run a security light benifits us all.

I feel so sorry for OPs who come back with a wholehearted mea culpa. It's rare that someone is prepared to say they were wrong, so it deserves acknowledgment at least. But then another fifty posters continue to rant at them because those pages can't be arsed to rtft.

Indeed.

The ranting posters are not necessarily having a go at the OP. This is a common situation, it has negative affects on mental health and there are plenty of selfish wankers still shining their lights into the homes of others. The OP is not the only audience.

In 5 years of living here, I've forgotten to turn the light off three times

And in 5 years of living there, he's rung your doorbell three times.
Turn it round If you don't think it matters that you've forgotten three times, then it also doesn't matter he's rung the doorbell three times.

I have an issue with light when I'm asleep. A light at certain angles, especially one going on and off, will more often than not cause me to wake with a migraine.

I’ve ordered an outdoor tubular garden light (not a flood light) that only points directly up and down, and has a midnight til 4am setting. My dad will fit it for us this weekend. It will light our driveway so I can safely get my boy down our steep drive.
Will write a letter apologising for disturbing his sleep with our light and informing him of the new light as soon as my baby is napping.

You sound like a lovely, considerate neighbour, OP! If only more people were like you.

Disconnect your doorbell.

Good on him. Both of my neighbours have god awful 500w cheap crap floodlights that come on constantlt at a gnats fart.. Its like having a strobe light flashing constantly in my bedrooms at night.

We now have very expensive triple lining on our window dressing to combat this.

You and your lights are fucking obnoxious and you should be grovellign and apologising to your neighbour 9and dismantling your lights0 pronto. No one needs lights on after bedtime.

I can’t see why he could be bothered to bother you at 2am if the light wasn’t keeping him awake. Unless he’s just cooko

I also am so sensitive to light. If my Fitbit or phone light up during the night, 95% of the time it wakes me up too

@Oldraver Op is doing something about it. Why so angry at her. Very ranty indeed.

If you don't want your doorbell rang, remember to switch the light off. Or look into a timer switch.

And you should probably apologise to your neighbour and assure him your going to get a permanent solution.

And you should probably apologise to your neighbour and assure him your going to get a permanent solution.

She did that 100 posts ago.