Neighbour ringing our doorbell in the middle of the night

[applesauce1]

Our neighbour has just rung our doorbell at 11:15 at night. It is the third time he has done this.

Back story: We have a motion activated flood light outside our house and a steep drive. He has previously complained that when it comes on, it shines into his bedroom window (despite it being pointed as far down as it goes and definitely not in the direction of his windows). In the summer, the light is always turned off as a neighbourly courtesy. Now it is darker earlier, I’ve turned it back on so I can get our baby safely down our steep drive in the dark when I get home from work. I turn the light off at the fuse box when I get in.
On three occasions (twice last winter and now tonight), I’ve forgotten to turn it off and he has come round to ring our bell. Once he rang the doorbell at 2am. Each time he has done it, he has woken our baby.

Tonight I actually went to the door and was extremely upset with him. I told him that I am trying my very best to remember to turn the light off at night but that he absolutely should not ring our doorbell at night as we have a baby trying to sleep. He started to shout at me about it shining through his window and that he would speak to his solicitor. I said I would call the police and that he should get some proper blinds or curtains.

He does have curtains but they are very raggedy and coming down in places.

I called 111 who offered to come out now as he is being a nuisance neighbour, but I asked if they would be able to come tomorrow instead as it would just further disturb my son.

Am I in the wrong? Should I have just apologised for forgetting to turn our light off? I’m still breastfeeding and up twice a night at least with our baby, so I know how it feels to be sleep deprived and I don’t want to be the cause of that for someone else.

Wtf these responses are crazy. There's no law against floodlights or security lights or Xmas lights!

Actually, there is, @Preggosaurus9: it may well amount to a statutory nuisance entitling the council to take action.

In any event, why would you live your life solely according to whether something is or is not against the law, disregarding the obvious benefits and desirability of being ordinarily considerate towards your neighbours and not being a dickhead?

Well done op on realising that you were unreasonable.

There’s a big middle ground between puny solar lights and a floodlight- perhaps a different light would help?

You phoned the Police ? Bloody hell they are there for emergencies as this is not an emergency. It is because of people like you victims of crime have to wait hours or days for help

Yes, we have a neighbour who has installed a ridiculously bright motion activated security light. It illuminates our bedroom and really pisses us off. You are being unreasonable. Turn the fucking thing off.

My bedroom is on the third floor. A few years ago the council installed new street lamps one of which shines straight into my bedroom. I complained nothing was done so I bought blackout blinds. Problem solved. Maybe offer to buy some for your neighbour?

Could you turn the light off before you go to bed?

Our neighbours have a light thats motion activated and set off by foxes. Its so bright in our bedroom that its like someone has turned the light on. We have blinds in our bedroom but it shines through the hall light so we also have to close our bedroom door. When people stay they always comment on it but I'd imagine our neighbour has no idea and we've never worked out what house it is (as its on the back of a house on an opposite street) to tell them

That would seriously annoy me. You woke him up so he's woken you up, simple really. You should have sorted it sooner.

He could have come round the next day.

And put up with being woken up all night every time a gust of wind or a passing animal made the light go on?

Rinning doorbells past 10pm at night is extremely unreasonable.

Having a light that wakes your neighbour at midnight and later is more than extremely unreasonable, @Damntheman.

If I were the neighbour I would get black out blinds!

Why should he have to go to that expense and trouble to remedy a statutory nuisance caused by someone else?

He's also not interested enough in solving it amicably to come around in the day time after the first time it happened.

You don't seem to realise that this is never going to be a one-off. Once OP has forgotten to turn the light off, it's going to be flicking on and off all night. Why should someone have to put up with that in preference to asking for it to be switched off?

Security lights are for security, just that. Switching them off at night kind of defeats the point.

But OP isn't using it as a security light. How difficult is it actually to read the OP's first post?

God. In the cold light of day, I can’t believe I called 101 🤦‍♀️ The nice man on the phone did say that I was entitled to have security lights and that he should not be ringing our doorbell at unsociable hours, so that further validated my erroneous opinion that he was in the wrong before I wrote the thread. I really do appreciate all of the feedback as I was completely lacking empathy at midnight last night but can now see it from his POV. I feel very remorseful.
I absolutely overreacted. I’ve ordered an outdoor tubular garden light (not a flood light) that only points directly up and down, and has a midnight til 4am setting. My dad will fit it for us this weekend. It will light our driveway so I can safely get my boy down our steep drive.
Will write a letter apologising for disturbing his sleep with our light and informing him of the new light as soon as my baby is napping.
Thank you for the reality check!

It seems pretty likely your light IS causing a nuisance. I don't know many people who would bother leaving their house so late to get pissed off about it unless it was genuinely disturbing them. You've got a baby - OK. Perhaps he needs to get some sleep too? Would you fancy having your bedroom randomly floodlit when trying to rest? You obviously need to deal with the root cause here - the light. You don't mention him causing a nuisance about anything else, and depriving people of rest or sleep does, believe it or not, make them cranky. You also started having a go first, per your own statement.

On balance, YABU. Sort the light out and end the problem.

I bet the neighbour is a MNetter

he's just done what is always advised to do in these cases - blocked car, or general neighbour nuisance.

Go and knock on the neighbours' door, ideally in the middle of the night or at dawn to make a point. Works!

Fair play on sorting this out sensibly.

Surely though the whole point of having a light like this IS for the night - for intruders etc ? Perhaps though a "floodlight" is extreme and perhaps look at a better sensor light ?

urely though the whole point of having a light like this IS for the night - for intruders etc ?

it doesn't need to be facing upwards towards your neighbours windows though - who are people scared of? Spiderman?

YABVVU and precious 're baby. It's not rocket science...get a different bloody light. If the shoe was on the other foot and the light was shining into your child's room you'd be STRAIGHT round there. REMEMBER already to switch the bloody thing off. It's not hard

for you, OP - sleep deprivation sends everyone mad. Changing the light and apologising is NBU at all, hope any more posters RTFT and don't carry on giving you a hard time.

@Dontbeababs
I have a very rational fear of Toby Maguire crawling in through my bedroom window. The conkers don’t seem to deter him.

Our light does face down but as I’ve said, I acknowledge that it must still be causing him bother so I’ve ordered a new light.

Gosh Beveren, you’ve gone to a lot of effort to single me out :o

Sure, he could have lain awake all night. Or he could have gone to sleep on the sofa like a rational person.

Having a security light pointed at the floor that you need to safety traverse your drive is not unreasonable. Not installing black out blinds which you can get for less than a tenner is SUCH an expense. The poor man, how mad to expect that someone would take reasonable measures to be comfortable in their own home! Gosh, solving a problem yourself without being a massive dick seems like such an unreasonable thing to have to do. What sane person could expect someone else to spend less than a tenner to solve a problem instead of not doing anything at all to remedy it apart from be a nuisance to their neighbours! Madness! Yes absolutely..

OP shouldn’t have to turn the light off at all. Security lights should go on when enough movement is detected that’s how they work. OP could perhaps adjust the sensitivity so cats don’t set it off, but it should absolutely go off when people go by. A black out blind costing less than a tenner would mean he wouldn’t see the light at all! Isn’t that magic! (also he could have gone around in the daytime to have a civil conversation with OP and solve it that way, but apparently that’s not possible. Eyeroll)

No, OP is using it to get up and down the drive. But it is a security light and such it is, also used for security. Do you never use things for more than one purpose?

Wow you’re obtuse.

Nice one op as just read your latest post 😊. Shame not all neighbours are as considerate and quick to sort out a problem

I can see both sides too... But we also had a neighbour who was adamant that their lights didn't bother or shine into us... expect they did! Was like being under an interrogation light every time they flickered on. So if you struggle to remember to turn it off you need to leave yourself a note by where you hang your coat or keys, or write it on your hand or something. If you were using it /getting benefit is one thing but you're asleep and he's being disturbed

Over-lighting is associated with sleep disturbances and other health issues. It’s awful for wildlife. People are too accepting of over-bright streetlights.

@Abraid2 there was a worrying report about impact of street lights on breast cancer rates.

I had one right outside my bedroom in my parent’s house and now I have one outside my bedroom in my own home.

And forget having a peep at the night sky when selfish people put up over-bright lights. Why should we have to put up blackout blinds to deal with other people’s selfishness (not aimed at OP). Over-bright lights actually create even more relative darkness in the shade around them because of the glare.

Havaina my sympathies. I live in an unlit village and love it. An incomer wants streetlights and some of us are resisting. It’s getting harder to see the stars.