Escorting to make ends meet

[secretlife81]

Just that really. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. But what else can I do?!

There are agencies that provide monitoring and support for lone workers. I do home visits for work where I have to log on to an app with my location and the expected duration of the activity so someone always knows where I am and emergency protocol kicks in if I don't check in with a pin within a certain timeframe. Something like that might at least keep you a bit safer.

No judgment here. If I felt attractive enough to charge for sex, I would certainly give it some thought.

'I just don't know what else to do when I can only manage an hour or so a day pretending to not be desperately sad and struggling'

Sign on, and get a GP/consultant to back you up- if your current one isn't good then change them. Go back and tell them how you're feeling, so they can try something new. You can always do some voluntary work or something to help yourself if and when you feel like it, and gradually build up to work as you feel able.

For now, you should focus on your health, get help etc.

You must know that you're unable to work full time partly due to trauma, but you've picked basically the job most likely to lead to someone having traumatic experiences? It's only a matter of time before a client does stuff you don't like etc, something really bad, on top of the possible general trauma of the job.

At the moment your MH is such that you'll probably be eventually able to work again. But now imagine you endure violent rape or something else in your line of work- how fucked up would you be, to have experienced that on top of your current problems? It'd be much harder to come back from- you'd be a complete wreck.

OP if your mental health issues get diagnosed there are good benefits out there. I'm not used to the new UC system so not sure if it's different now but in total, i receive more than enough in benefits per month to live off (over 1k). That doesn't include my rent and council tax which are also paid for me on top of that. Some of this is Child Benefit and Tax Credit but i have the same amount of dependants as yourself.

Your depression sounds crippling and i do feel you would be eligible if you were honest about how much it's affecting your life. Please look into it if you get the chance. You are so worth it, you need the chance to heal and deserve to be happy

It's not a matter of judgement, just facts about the risks involved, when the whole thing is avoidable.

Just to add, you don't need to go to jobcentre meetings for these kind of benefits which is a huge help (as they absolutely terrify me and often i can't get out of the house to attend).

OP if your mental health issues get diagnosed there are good benefits out there. I'm not used to the new UC system so not sure if it's different now but in total, i receive more than enough in benefits per month to live off (over 1k).

Legacy benefits are just that. UC is utter crap, particularly for people with MH conditions, as is PIP.

I agree with @FirstTicket - I have complex MH problems and I get ok money to live on. You 'just' have to get formally diagnosed and get professionals to back you up. It can all take a bit of effort, but it's worth it xxx

@dontalltalkatonce people's experiences vary. I and my bestie both saw a vast improvement in our income when we moved from DLA onto PIP.

From what OP is saying, she just claimed for a bit but not long enough to get into the equivalent of the support group of UC. I think things are more reasonable once people get in the support group if they need it. They won't have as frequent interviews etc and the money's quite a bit better.

These things are worth fighting for.

As long as it's just smiling and nothing that you're totally uncomfortable with that would give you long term mental health issues - honestly? I would grin (literally) and bear it, save up and start a small business. I wouldn't do it 1 hour a day, I would probably do it longer hours over 2 days, and then my whole week isn't taken up by getting ready each day for a job I hate. I hate my job too sometimes but compressed hours has really helped me. Try and make as much money as you can and then move on as soon as possible.

Sorry ignore my last post I obviously haven't RTFT

Secretlife, look at this please: www.swarmcollective.org/blog

@MrsFiddymont How many people want to work two jobs SEVEN days a week. Let's be honest.

OP, work from home. There are plenty of websites with agencies on where you can do any kind of office work, from home.
Get your life back, don’t let the past (DV relationship) define your future. You’ll have to at some point anyway for your health and your children’s sakes - so, do it now. Get back to the woman you were.

Yes escorting and prostituting is the same thing, but the price difference is quite vast between those who walk the streets and those who take appointment only.

Does your therapist or friends/family know? If not is there anyone you can tell IRL for support?

I really appreciate all of these different views. That's what I hoped for. I have lots of thinking to do xx

I haven't told the therapist I'm too worried they'll inform children's services and they'll think I'm putting my kids on danger

No useful advice OP but wishing you well and a way out of this. You deserve a better life, you are a valuable person, and your boy and girl must need you and would lose so much if anything happened to you.

I literally had a breakdown after leaving my abusive marriage. I tried to work, but I could not stop crying. The job centre were actually really helpful. Not in the very beginning, but when they realised I was very unwell, they were the ones who insisted I go to Women's Aid for help.

The job centre actually helped me with many things, I am on UC and I struggle, it isn't easy , but not only did I end up with MH problems, severe depression, I was also diagnosed with M.E/C.F.S.
I would rather live a life having less and be safe with my children.

Reconsider going onto UC temporarily until you get your MH sorted out. I have never looked into PIP. When you get stronger you can apply for other work.

I want you to be safe for your children.

I know what it is like not to trust anyone.

Just be safe.

OP, hoping you are able to vet the clients as much as able to and have someone as a safety back up. If doing this work for now maybe just offering a sensual massage would be easier to cope with even if a bit less payment. Please remember to keep yourself safe.

Beyond the Streets has a free helpline where non-judgemental support is available: 0800 1337870 They work with you to help support you out of escorting. It might be worth giving them a ring.

secretlife81

I haven't told the therapist I'm too worried they'll inform children's services and they'll think I'm putting my kids on danger

Social services won't be interested unless you entertain your guests at home.

OP, where do you meet your clients? Please do not say that you bring them home....

You really need to stop doing this has you are putting your self in danger you could be raped by a client attacked or even worse killed please get out of the lifestyle and focus on your kids you don't need to do this just try budgeting better or cutting back on costs

Could you do some consulting work? You can use Upwork to get clients and choose your own hours and clients you want to take on. Many charge £75-150 an hour.