Vegetarians shouldn't have to buy meat?

[Whuut]

So a relative of mine is getting married next year and her and her partner went vegetarian a few years ago for many reasons, one being they didn't want to contribute to the meat industry. They have decided at the wedding to have the meal completely vegetarian. I think this is fine and for one meal people can deal without meat- I do get that some people struggle without it but I think for the sake of one meal at someone else's wedding, you'd just deal with it. What I think is harsh, a few other family members are constantly telling her they should have a meat option and making her feel bad about their decision.

Aibu to think they shouldn't have to have meat at their wedding when one of the main reasons they gave it up was to do with not wanting to contribute to the industry?

Depends what the dish is. I like a lot of veggie food; spinach & ricotta, macaroni cheese, omelettes...anything with cheese basically 😂. However, I hate tofu, mushrooms, quorn or anything that tries to be like meat. I’d be happy with rice and veg or similar.

We don't eat people who have been hit by a car because cannibalism is a taboo not only in humans, but in many other species too, as a way to protect your own. very, very few species engage in cannibalism. Human meat is also less nutritious and highly likely to contain pathogens than other meats. But personally, if i was hungry and human meat was the only thing available, I wouldn't give it a second thought. No moral conuncrum to me, as long as no one needed to be killed on purpose in order to be eaten (i.e. I would have been the first in the Chilean plane crash survivors to eat the corpses of the dead with no remorse whatsoever).

So in answer to your question, using strictly utilitarian ethics, yes, it would be morally better to eat meat which is already dead, regardless whether it was human or otherwise, than killing any other organism. However, humans do not lead their lives by utilitarian ethics, and "eating" for humans is not just anout nutrition. It's about socialising (hence the importance of the wedding, not being "just another meal" but a social occasion where food and drink are part of the experience), about feelings (hence comfort eating), about pleasure (flavour, consistency, mamories awakened by food), about culture, about traditions, about beliefs, about energy, about health... humans are complex creatures who often like to complicate things to absurd extremes. here we are, making a massive fuss of whether eating a vegetarian meal at a wedding is acceptable, when so many other humans are struggling to survive or being killed by bombs.

Surely “it depends what the dish is” applies to food in general, not just vegetarian food?

*conundrum even

“ very, very few species engage in cannibalism.“
That’s interesting- is it true?

Ethically, do you feel it is better to eat a person who has been hit by a car than to pull a plant out of the ground?

I foresee excellent possibilities for wedding buffets here.

"Listen, Mark. For some of us road accident victims are an essential part of a proper meal. I won't feel full if I don't get to eat one and I certainly won't be able to celebrate. I provided a non-road-accident-victim option for you at my wedding, and now all I ask is that you return the favour by catering for me at your wedding. It's not all about YOU YOU YOU you know."

*An invitation to a wedding is an invitation to a party being hosted by the Bride and Groom, to help them celebrate an important milestone in their lives.

It is the B&G's big day, not the guests.*

There would not be a party without the guests. And plenty of posters on this same thread complained that "when such and such organised an alcohol-free wedding, half the party did not come", so obviously bride and groom are also personally invested in their guests coming and enjoying themselves. If they didn't care about the guests, they would get married with just the celebrant and the two required witnesses. So yes, guests are pretty essential for the Big Day to succeed. If guests are unhappy, the wedding will be talked about for decades as a disappointment, and most brides and grooms would be quite upset with the description.

“ very, very few species engage in cannibalism.“
That’s interesting- is it true?

As circumstancial happenings (when no other food available, when poor nutrition is obtained from other foods, in extreme circumstances) it probably happens in most species, including herbivores. However as a systematic way of obtaining food in the presence of other sources of food it's pretty rare.

The family are being ridiculous and I say this as a meat lover. Some of the nicest wedding I’ve ever had was veggie at an Indian wedding. Lots of people pick a veggie option if there is a choice. It won’t harm anyone to go without meat for a day. I hope they tell their family to sod off.

Placing yourself in a morally higher position to people who eat meat because the beings you kill have a completely different body system than yours just shows your own arrogance, very typical from humans, I must say.

So you’re not human then , aurynne?

I have family who are vegetarian and their wedding a few years ago was completely vegetarian. It was absolutely lovely. It was probably the best catered wedding I've ever been to and they really thought of everything.

I was vegetarian when I got married (had been veg for 20 years, though am not anymore, mostly because I chose for my children to not be vegetarian and I lost the will to live making separate meals for everyone). We did have meat at our wedding (dh is not vegetarian), though I had a vegetarian meal. Also, fine!

But really, it's their wedding, their choice. No one will die to not eat meat for one meal.

FamilyOfAliens what in my post made you think I wasn't including myself?

When you posted, shows your own arrogance, very typical from humans, I must say.

Rather than “our own arrogance”.

My arrogance is shown in plenty of other areas, however not in placing animals' lives higher than plants'. I kill and eat them both equally happily

I think you’ve spectacularly missed the point there, but whatever.

No, I believe you did. That "your" in my statement was directed at the poster I was speaking about, while the "very typical from humans" included all humans, so myself too. So your assumption that I didn't include myself as "human" is baseless.

We don't eat people who have been hit by a car because cannibalism is a taboo not only in humans, but in many other species too, as a way to protect your own. very, very few species engage in cannibalism.

I am not sure you are right there. A quick scroll of articles and I have found several studies stating that canibalism is prevalent in both aquatic and terrestrial food webs.

But back to your argument, surely protecting your own is only relevant if you have to kill the person in order to eat them?

If they are already dead, is it not better to eat them than to eat a sentient plant? Or do you accept that there is a moral hierarchy of food sources?

My sister cooked a ( delicious) veggie meal and my nephew said 'what's this muck, where's the meat ? In company, I was 😱😱😱😱😱

And yes he's an a**e

It's fine - I'd suggest having two or three vegetarian options to choose from though. Mushroom stroganoff and nut roast are boring so give people a choice. I'd eat a veggie or vegan chili, for example.

Chicken is boring. We had lamb at our wedding (though I don't eat red meat so had salmon, which is also boring). We had no vegetarians at all but a few people opted for the salmon option.

I'd eat a veggie or vegan chili, for example.

Oh that’s so boring! Chilli is a family meal once a week.

I have been to a teetotal wedding. It was lovely. The bride and groom were teetotallers, their wedding day, their choice.

With the vegetarian wedding meal - perfectly ok. I'd say avoid risotto or bake as it's usually just slop.
If there is a starter and main, don't make them both goat's cheese based or both mushroom based.

Good grief - if they can't manage a day without meat, they can call into a McDonald's on the way home!

We are a big meat eating family. I love me a bit of cow, pig and baa lambs. Last night though I made cheese and onion pie, buttery mash and baked beans for dinner.

Of course, being a meat eater I was forced to cook a steak too and sprinkle it chopped up so that my dinner wasn't meat free. Wouldn't want to accidentally eat a meat free meal right?

I'm a lifelong vegetarian, and as long as the guests knew there will be no meat served, I support the B and G. Anyone who feels like the food is not to their taste can just not attend. I would never spend a penny of my own on any meat product, so I understand.