Vegetarians shouldn't have to buy meat?

[Whuut]

So a relative of mine is getting married next year and her and her partner went vegetarian a few years ago for many reasons, one being they didn't want to contribute to the meat industry. They have decided at the wedding to have the meal completely vegetarian. I think this is fine and for one meal people can deal without meat- I do get that some people struggle without it but I think for the sake of one meal at someone else's wedding, you'd just deal with it. What I think is harsh, a few other family members are constantly telling her they should have a meat option and making her feel bad about their decision.

Aibu to think they shouldn't have to have meat at their wedding when one of the main reasons they gave it up was to do with not wanting to contribute to the industry?

@Settlersofcatan the comment I was replying to was talking about restaurants.

I had a vegetarian wedding. Most people were fine but a small minority were not. One cousin kicked up such a fuss at his table that the chef came out and offered to make him something with meat in it (he said no and then sat there with a face like a wet weekend for the rest of the meal). Another few were still bringing it up to moan about it YEARS later

This is completely mad. Surely no sane adult behaves this way??

Her wedding, her menu choice. She doesn't even have to tell anyone in advance, though it is a nice gesture, as it enables people to have a full English for breakfast if they really can't cope without meat for a day. My old Dad was from the 'vegetarian food gives me wind' school of thought, but even he would not have complained, because he believed that you eat what you are given. I can't abide picky eaters, and that includes carnivores. Fussiness is a first world problem. They should eat the vegetarian food and enjoy the wedding.

“ most meat eaters will see a meal without it as not a proper full meal. Yes, a meal that will satisfy one's basic hunger, but not a full main meal.”

Well, the ignorant ones will......

Notice that I said most meat eaters will see and NOT "it is a fact that". Are people not entitled to their own opinions, preferences and customs now? The vast majority of vegans and vegetarians aren't medically incapable of eating meat and it wouldn't kill or harm them if they did, but they still don't see it as an acceptable part of a full main (or indeed any) meal, as is fully their right and their choice - are they all ignorant too for somehow not 'understanding' that meat is a foodstuff and that they should therefore just eat it without complaint?

Depending on how good the restaurant is, many vegan options are just as delicious, and I often choose them.

It’s when, like at my work Christmas do, the vegetarian option is not only vegan but gluten-free that I get annoyed!

Quite simply it costs people a lot of money to go to a wedding - outfits, present, hotel etc. Therefore a good host will surely think of them alongside the 'me me me it's all about me me me because it's my wedding' mentality.

I agree. This attitude is irritating to me.

I remember being at a wedding and the lack of providing something, led to him opening the wedding card and taking out some of the money intended as a gift. He was pretty peeved.

As long as it's lovely food then the meat eaters just need to suck it up!

Lovely is subjective though. Lovely to me is not lovely to everyone else.

I remember being at a wedding and the lack of providing something, led to him opening the wedding card and taking out some of the money intended as a gift. He was pretty peeved.

When you say providing something, does that mean meat? That’s a shocking thing to do.

Incidentally, I do wonder why some people persist in describing omnivores as 'carnivores' I don't know if they have their own agenda or simply don't understand the correct terminology.

A carnivore is an animal such as a lion that will eat nothing but meat rather than a person who enjoys meat along with all/most other food groups.

It's not respectful (or properly accurate) to refer to vegan/vegetarian food as 'rabbit food', as some boorish people do, so why would you refer to human omnivores' diets effectively as 'lion food'?

This is completely mad. Surely no sane adult behaves this way??

You would think! And yet. These were adults as well, not teenagers. So odd.

Meat eaters don't feel it is morally/ethically/environmentally important to eat meat

Some do Friend of mine wrote "I'm going to try going Vegan" and a pic of a recipe book on his social media this week....my god the pile on! You'd think he had said he was taking up murdering puppies!

As long as op they dont used quorn. Horrible none food that makes people ill. You can have nice veggie food so their wedding, their choice. There will be people who complain (you cant please everyone) as weddings are a celebration.

Lovely is subjective though. Lovely to me is not lovely to everyone else.

And that’s why it’s impossible to provide a wedding meal that would be the first choice of dishes to eat for everyone.

So having the bride and groom choose food for their guests, rather than trying to cater for every guest who won’t eat a meat-free meal because it’s not their favourite, is the best way to go.

Lovely is indeed subjective but I would have thought that a vegetarian MENU would be just that. Two or three choices of mains. So not everyone being forced to eat a mushroom risotto whether they like it or not. That is absolutely fine to me and honestly objecting is the height of rudeness. So a menu like this:

soup/melon/garlic mushooms/baked camembert starter

vegetable lasagne and salad with garlic bread
mushroom/spinach puff pastry thing with red wine jus and roast pots
tomato tart and new potatoes

then puds

... would be UTTERLY UNREASONABLE AND DISGUSTING because there's no option for a chicken breast?

However if I were OP I'd probably smile sweetly and say yup fine, we're providing a meat option, just tick the 'special dietary requirements' box and you'll have your meat on the day, then stick a goat curry in front of them with five minutes notice. Bit of a taster of what it's like to be the vegetarian at your average big event

As long as it's lovely food then the meat eaters just need to suck it up!

If you went to the supermarket and discovered that they'd closed off the whole fruit aisle because somebody who somehow found fruit objectionable and offensive had bitterly complained, would you say "Well, it doesn't matter, because there's loads of other lovely food." I think most people would say "There is a lot of other lovely food available, much of which I intend to buy, but I want to get ALL of my family shopping, including the fruit."

Lovely is subjective though. Lovely to me is not lovely to everyone else.

Very simply put and very true. I might look forward to a 'lovely' juicy steak, but I realise that many people wouldn't consider it lovely; another person might enthuse over a 'lovely' nut salad whereas I might think it looks awfully unappetising - doesn't make either of us categorically right or wrong.

And I have to say that anyone who has been vegetarian for decades will have experienced many occasions where they’ve had to eat salad, or chips, or in my case at my best friends wedding - plain rice when everyone else is sitting down to a full plate of food.

So forgive me for not being sympathetic to a meat-eating guest who is forced to eat perfectly acceptable vegetarian food for one meal.

To the people who call meat "dead animals", are they aware that their veggies are "dead plants"?

She should look at it positively as an opportunity to showcase how good chef-prepared vegetarian food can be.

Lots of omnivores wouldn't go for the veggie option at a restaurant because they see meat as a treat or a crucial part of a meal. Here she has a captive audience to give a great vegetarian dining experience to.

She should just send out the menu choices (if they need to be made in advance) and not make reference to the fact that they are vegetarian. If someone is rude enough to complain that there is no meat option, then she can direct them to the nearest pub where they can get a steak and chips and save her the cover cost for the catering.

Plants aren’t sentient.

To the people who call meat "dead animals", are they aware that their veggies are "dead plants"?

yes we are. We are also sufficiently versed in biology to know that there is a difference between a plant and an animal.

Webuilt - yes indeed, but the fruit analogy only works if the fruit aisle were closed for one day/ one trip to the supermarket (aka the one wedding meal) and on arriving at the fruitless aisles you also knew you were able to call past Fruit World quite easily on the way home (aka have a big juicy steak at home the next day or even after the reception or EVEN if super desperate carry a couple of Gregg's Beef Scoffers in your bag to munch during the speeches). Would one kick up a fuss at being temporarily denied fruit?

aurynne love you're beginning to sound a bit plant level yourself

Sorry that's really got me chuckling!

Waiting to hear whether aurynne keeps a carrot as a pet and takes it for walks.

LOVE IT

Also, it's often not just a case of either meat or no meat. A lot of meals based around meat will be 'something PLUS meat' e.g. steak or sausage AND chips or roast beef or pork AND vegetables. Most vegetarian and vegan foods tend to have ingredients all mixed in together.

Most vegetarians don't want to be given 'a roast/carvery meal but with no meat', which is fair enough, but what if people don't like the texture or taste of 'one pot' meals, as most vegetarian meals tend to be?

Relative had a veggie wedding recently. He's not a vegetarian, but the host, who owned the venue, insisted on no meat/fish (the venue was very cheap). There was very normal buffet style food though - pizzas, sandwiches, veggie sausage rolls, salads. There were some people who moaned and were politely told to go to McDonalds if they're not satisfied.

If anything I'd prefer more veggie weddings to yet another bone dry chicken breast wrapped in parma ham.