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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Singing along at a musical to cause such upset?

871 replies

cantbeatfreshsheets · 20/11/2019 14:45

I went to a musical yesterday with my parents & sister to celebrate my mums birthday. We had a really nice day & this was the last thing we had planned. Arrived a few mins late and got to our seats with no problems.

After about 20 mins in. A catchy song came on. It was Tina Turner. My mum sang along for a couple of times during the chorus. It was hard not too. The whole show was about her being oppressed. Which is exactly how we felt after what happens next.

The lady in front turned around. Looked at my mum & said could you please, then used her hand against her mouth to gesture my mum to zip it 🤐 very passive aggressive.

Mum looked at us as if to say. What the F**
Anyway. She said I'll have to speak to her at the interval. Meanwhile I just thought what a spoilsport?!?! If you can't sing along at a musical what's wrong with the world. It's not like she was singing at the top of her voice???

It resulted with the lady in front going to make a complaint about my mum as mum tapped her on the shoulder and said during the interval How dare you tell me how to behave. My mum ended up going to see the manager herself where the other women was acting like we were trying to victimise her for not being happy against us telling her it was a free country. They said we were aggressive and being unreasonable?!?!

She said. It said on the way in you can't sing. We said. Well we didn't see that notice as we were late. We ended up leaving as my mum was so cross. There was a slight scene. The other woman was behaving like a child in my opinion. Has the world has gone mad.

My sister and I told her that she had spoilt our mums birthday and She was clearly enjoying playing the victim. I think she was probably shocked we confronted her over it.

We left. Were we being unreasonable? Or has the world gone crazy? I'd love to hear you're thoughts.

OP posts:
Popc0rn · 22/11/2019 23:00

I'm assuming it was Tina Turner, the musical.

I've just looked at tickets as I'm going to London for a weekend soon, and they are not cheap. I wouldn't be impressed with paying £60+ for a ticket to end up with a randomer singing right behind me.

minipie · 22/11/2019 23:06

For people who want to sing along, there are “sing along” shows.

Other shows, not described as “sing along” are not for singing along.

chrisie16 · 22/11/2019 23:12

Tony Martin. I'm saying nothing. Draw your own conclusions.

SpeckledyHen · 22/11/2019 23:23

Thank God you left . At least they could enjoy some of the show .

ColinKnocksTwoPence · 22/11/2019 23:45

You can't sing-a-long in Musicals.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7600181/Music-lovers-storm-Motown-Musical-staff-tell-stop-singing.html

Devora13 · 22/11/2019 23:47

How unreasonable people are. Why should you not do exactly what you want, regardless of other people's comfort and enjoyment. I personally am a great fan of learning the words to movies verbatim, then standing up and reciting them loudly (I mean, projecting) drowning out the actor in the screen. I even went to a funeral once, and when the eulogy has read, stood up and exclaimed loudly 'I know this one! Can I join in with the last paragraph?' Someone said something about respect. I was like 'Bet you're a laugh a minute at parties!'

GoldfishGirl · 23/11/2019 00:19

I only got to page 9 and had to post. This thread wins the day.

OP it sounds like you nearly had your own musical!

My Mum does this. We go to the theatre, usually some classical piece, and she'll start to hum it while she works out the music. I DIE inside and have to distract her with whispers of 'Mum' to get her attention.

No OP, we don't sing at musicals. We are British goddammit.

Take her to Sound of Music Sing-A-Long Grin

TwatCat · 23/11/2019 00:32

It's people like your mum that give me the rage in theatres. There should be a separate holding area before taking your seats to explain theatre etiquette, and latecomers need to have it explained too (while they wait for the interval to take their seats so they don't disrupt everyone)

My rule suggestions:

RULES:
Do not arrive late.
Do not sing along.
Do not talk throughout.
Do not provide a running commentary.
Do not keep saying "ooh I love this bit"
Do not keep saying "watch now, this bit's funny"
Do not fondle your wife's arse constantly.
Do not keep fidgeting with rustling clothes on.
Do not keep fidgeting.
Do not manspread.
Do not get up 50,000 times to buy more wine.
Do not eat munchy crunchy food.
Do not eat smelly food.
Do not spit popcorn over the person in front.
Do not crunch your ice from your drink.
Do not laugh loudly at EVERYTHING if you have the worlds most annoying laugh.
Do not be a dick.

Simple rules you'd think???

Beveren · 23/11/2019 00:57

I think for the sake of being polite a few extra seconds doesn't harm anyone.

@Kko1986, it's extra disturbance for people already being disturbed by OP's mother, who was infinitely ruder in assuming she was entitled to spoil everyone's enjoyment of the musical. Compared with that, what the woman in front did was very polite, and certainly it was the quickest and quietest way to get her message over.

Beveren · 23/11/2019 01:00

So as I don't agree you call me a liar??? Grow up!!

No, @nicky7654, I wasn't referring to your lack of agreement, I was referring to the factual statement that you made.

PurpleViolins · 23/11/2019 01:27

Hate musicals but yabu Hmm

MsTSwift · 23/11/2019 07:00

I concur with the rules. Both my dds from 7 onwards can sit transfixed still and silent throughout musicals so absolutely no excuse for adults not to

DeadBod · 23/11/2019 07:41

Couldn't be clearer ...

Singing along at a musical to cause such upset?
katewhinesalot · 23/11/2019 07:55

We had a similar incident, although it was talking. The people also left, no doubt thinking they weren't being unreeasonable. People around us agreed with us. The whole thing soured the performance as confrontation doesn't come naturally but the alternative was to suffer in silence - as I'm sure many people would and then did do.

lboogy · 23/11/2019 09:08

I've been to the theatre many times and it never occurred to me to sing, but then I'm not sure I would have seen anything wrong with someone singing along.

I'm sorry your mums birthday was ruined

Some people take the whole theatre going thing way too seriously

my2bundles · 23/11/2019 09:13

People take it seriously because they have spent a lot of money on the tickets and want to enjoy the performance. It would take me all year to save to take my 12 year old to see one, plus tbe cost of travel. To right I would be telling inconsiderate a holes to stop singing.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 23/11/2019 09:31

I've been to the theatre many times and it never occurred to me to sing, but then I'm not sure I would have seen anything wrong with someone singing along.

I'm sorry your mums birthday was ruined

Some people take the whole theatre going thing way too seriously

Dead right!

Let's go the the RSC together and belt out Ariel's song (with gestures). Let the audience see how real fans appreciate The Bard.

daisypond · 23/11/2019 09:44

If you want to sing along, all you need to do is hire the entire theatre and cast and musicians and stage technicians privately yourself.

messolini9 · 23/11/2019 10:08

ha ha ha, @daisypond! -

JudasHisCarrot · 23/11/2019 10:39

God, YABU - unbelievably so (in case you hadn't established that). I believe the woman in front was remarkably restrained in the onslaught of very poor behaviour and unwarranted aggression from your family. I'd have been so upset if I was that poor woman.

What's all this about screaming at the Sistine Chapel though? Can anyone post a link pls?

bruffin · 23/11/2019 14:20

This thread has made MTAS (the musical theatre appreciation society) facebook page Grin

nuxe1984 · 23/11/2019 14:27

I also think YWBVU! I don't pay a huge amount of money to listen to somebody in the audience singing. If you'd wanted a singalong you should have gone to a specific cinema performance or seen a live band …. not gone to a theatre.

HeronLanyon · 23/11/2019 14:31

judas Sistine chapel was this from feb 2018. I’ve no idea how to link to another thread but this should help your search to find it.
DH embarrassed by my sensitivity

SchadenfreudePersonified · 23/11/2019 14:49

This thread has made MTAS (the musical theatre appreciation society) facebook page

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 23/11/2019 15:12

@Iboogy - imagine you are at the theatre - you’ve paid £££ for tickets to a musical, and instead of listening to the professional singers performing the songs, you are listening to a discordant mixture of the good singing from the stage, and the person in the seat next to you who is not properly in tune with the music and doesn’t know all the words - can you really see no problem with that?

It is just the same as shouting out Hamlet’s soliloquy with the actor, or bringing your trumpet along and joining in with the orchestra at the Proms. You wouldn’t do either of these, so why do the performers and audience at a musical deserve any less respect?

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