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Original poster

Singing along at a musical to cause such upset?

871 replies

cantbeatfreshsheets · 20/11/2019 14:45

I went to a musical yesterday with my parents & sister to celebrate my mums birthday. We had a really nice day & this was the last thing we had planned. Arrived a few mins late and got to our seats with no problems.

After about 20 mins in. A catchy song came on. It was Tina Turner. My mum sang along for a couple of times during the chorus. It was hard not too. The whole show was about her being oppressed. Which is exactly how we felt after what happens next.

The lady in front turned around. Looked at my mum & said could you please, then used her hand against her mouth to gesture my mum to zip it 🤐 very passive aggressive.

Mum looked at us as if to say. What the F**
Anyway. She said I'll have to speak to her at the interval. Meanwhile I just thought what a spoilsport?!?! If you can't sing along at a musical what's wrong with the world. It's not like she was singing at the top of her voice???

It resulted with the lady in front going to make a complaint about my mum as mum tapped her on the shoulder and said during the interval How dare you tell me how to behave. My mum ended up going to see the manager herself where the other women was acting like we were trying to victimise her for not being happy against us telling her it was a free country. They said we were aggressive and being unreasonable?!?!

She said. It said on the way in you can't sing. We said. Well we didn't see that notice as we were late. We ended up leaving as my mum was so cross. There was a slight scene. The other woman was behaving like a child in my opinion. Has the world has gone mad.

My sister and I told her that she had spoilt our mums birthday and She was clearly enjoying playing the victim. I think she was probably shocked we confronted her over it.

We left. Were we being unreasonable? Or has the world gone crazy? I'd love to hear you're thoughts.

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 21/11/2019 23:22

I've been going to musicals for years and I honestly didn't know you weren't supposed to sing along. I've never seen a single sign and there has never been an announcement to say not to sing.

When you go to professional sports matches, do you run out on the pitch and join in? No signs there either.

Jezebel101 · 21/11/2019 23:23

I've just been reminded of seeing the late Leonard Cohen in concert, one of his last. The man behind me sang along with all his songs, regardless of being asked not to (politely). He'd stop for two minutes, then start again. I felt the entire evening was ruined, and my friend had looked forward to it for months.

I didn't pay to hear a random stranger crowing over Cohen - and I'm not even a big fan of Cohen!

FelicisNox · 21/11/2019 23:29

To answer the further rude comments: it's not "common sense" if you are not familiar with theatre etiquette. It's not something you simply know, it is something you learn. The oozing bitchy superiority on this thread makes me gag quite frankly.

I've never been told it's not the done thing and at just about every musical I've been to many others are singing along so I've never had any reason to think otherwise.

When I went to Mamma Mia, Motown and Priscilla, literally the whole audience was singing along throughout so we joined in. We didn't know the etiquette so we followed everyone else's cues, so quite clearly what you are all saying is incorrect.

This appalling attitude towards others is precisely why Mumsnet has such an awful reputation so maybe some of you need to think about YOUR behaviour because you're no better than the OP.

No wonder bullying is such an issue in schools these days when they have you lot as "role models".

Disgraceful.

Evilmorty · 21/11/2019 23:32

You can sing in the finale at some London musicals though. After an invitation is made by the cast to “join in”.

In Hair they even invite a stage invasion. That’s the point though, it’s an invitation. You would never just assume that watching professional live performers is the same as singing along to the radio unless you really didn’t understand where you were and were unable to follow the social cues of the other theatre goers.

And anyone with manners says yes I’m sorry and shuts the fuck up. Not offer to cash me outside.

LaurieMarlow · 21/11/2019 23:35

if you are not familiar with theatre etiquette. It's not something you simply know, it is something you learn

But why would it cross your mind in the first place?

You know, presumably, that people have paid decent money to be there. Wouldn’t it occur to you that it’s unfair to ruin their enjoyment of the professionals?

Mymycherrypie · 21/11/2019 23:38

And you do learn it pretty quickly.

Oh I love private dancer, no one else is belting it out, maybe I shouldn’t either.

Lesson learned. Unless you are a drunk ill mannered ultimate fighting champion wannabe who wants to take out the bitch in row G.

Can you imagine going to the theatre and having someone try and fight you at the interval. Horrific.

Ciwirocks · 21/11/2019 23:44

This reminds me of the time I was at ‘an audience with’ type event with a pretty well known actress. There were 2 women to the right of me who talked all the way through the first part, when I asked them to be quiet they said I was rude for interrupting their conversation! 🤯 Thankfully they didn’t return for the second part I did tell them they did not have to stay in their seats and if they wanted to talk they could go somewhere else.

Pixxie7 · 22/11/2019 04:48

What happened to live and let live, so her mum sang to the chorus, yes she over reacted but it’s not like she sang all the way through it. Give her a break.

Seabreeze18 · 22/11/2019 05:34

I think it all boils down to common sense! Or serious lack of in the ops family.
Also too many people put themselves before others these days and think their enjoyment is so important that it doesn’t matter who else it effects. It’s just selfish really

MITCHELL33 · 22/11/2019 06:17

I think it was the Motown musical that they actaully say at the start "refrain from singing and dancing along" adding at the end audience participation is welcome.

BlouseAndSkirt · 22/11/2019 06:30

“What happened to live and let live, so her mum sang to the chorus, yes she over reacted but it’s not like she sang all the way through it. Give her a break.”

She sang along, someone asked her to be quiet.

That could have been the end of it.

But no, the OP’s mother said she would ‘have to’ deal with it at the interval...and tapped the woman on the shoulder. Escalating it, or what! And caused a scene.

spanglydangly · 22/11/2019 06:43

I think it was the Motown musical that they actaully say at the start "refrain from singing and dancing along" adding at the end audience participation is welcome.

But of course OP and mother wouldn't have heard this announcement as they were late!

nicky7654 · 22/11/2019 07:46

@cantbeatfreshsheets I would have been more than happy to hear your mum sing. I have been to about 8 musicals and a lot of people can't help but sing along to some of the songs. Life is short, enjoy it x

ginrummy1 · 22/11/2019 08:06

Did your mum honestly tell the woman "how dare you tell me what to do" when the woman was actually asking her to stop singing in a theatre?
Holy shit, your family doing awful

Paddington68 · 22/11/2019 08:10

Common sense is sadly not that common.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 22/11/2019 08:17

It's clear there was a no singing rule in place, no one else was singing, but OP's mum thinks the rules don't apply to her, and people should appreciate her warbling along.

Does she think she's the best, better than all the rest?

Zoidbergonthehalfshell · 22/11/2019 08:17

I think some of the OP's family have found this thread...

draughtycatflap · 22/11/2019 08:17

The OP is long gone. Last seen with her mother trying to storm the Lion King stage in homemade hippo and hyena costumes.

Mummmmyof2 · 22/11/2019 08:24

I'm new her and just learnt what a reverse post is...but I have no idea why people do that?

Beveren · 22/11/2019 08:31

@nicky7654, your nose is growing.

Sexnotgender · 22/11/2019 08:32

I went to a concert a few years ago in a theatre.

I was sitting behind two women who weren’t singing but just sitting chatting really loudly to each other Angry
It was a quietish performance so they were all I could hear. I’d paid about £70 for my ticket. They were most aggrieved when I asked them to be quiet Confused
It’s not the bloody pub, shut your face people have paid a lot of money to be here.

isabellerossignol · 22/11/2019 08:33

Life is short, enjoy it x

The unwritten part of that sentence is 'and remember that your desire to enjoy it your way is more important than the other audience member's desire to enjoy it their way'.

Don't forget, you are more important than anyone else.

GoodbyeRosie · 22/11/2019 08:56

Going to the theatre now means coping with people talking all the way through the performance, people playing games on their phones, putting up with gangs of shrieking hen do participants who scream every time a man comes on stage...and yes people who think musicals are always audience participation.

I have a friend who's an usher, and she says it is now not unusual to ask two or three groups to leave in any given performance due to anti social behaviour - it's people of all ages and backgrounds as well.

ChristmasFluff · 22/11/2019 09:03

I think the way you all responded also was what made the incident worse - if this had happened to me, I'd have gone, 'oops, sorry', swapped a pulled-face glance with the person I was with, had a little (silent) giggle between us, maybe slapping my own wrist, and then got on with enjoying the performance.

You and your mum turned it into a big deal and spoiled it for yourselves.

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