Singing along at a musical to cause such upset?

[cantbeatfreshsheets]

I went to a musical yesterday with my parents & sister to celebrate my mums birthday. We had a really nice day & this was the last thing we had planned. Arrived a few mins late and got to our seats with no problems.

After about 20 mins in. A catchy song came on. It was Tina Turner. My mum sang along for a couple of times during the chorus. It was hard not too. The whole show was about her being oppressed. Which is exactly how we felt after what happens next.

The lady in front turned around. Looked at my mum & said could you please, then used her hand against her mouth to gesture my mum to zip it 🤐 very passive aggressive.

Mum looked at us as if to say. What the F**
Anyway. She said I'll have to speak to her at the interval. Meanwhile I just thought what a spoilsport?!?! If you can't sing along at a musical what's wrong with the world. It's not like she was singing at the top of her voice???

It resulted with the lady in front going to make a complaint about my mum as mum tapped her on the shoulder and said during the interval How dare you tell me how to behave. My mum ended up going to see the manager herself where the other women was acting like we were trying to victimise her for not being happy against us telling her it was a free country. They said we were aggressive and being unreasonable?!?!

She said. It said on the way in you can't sing. We said. Well we didn't see that notice as we were late. We ended up leaving as my mum was so cross. There was a slight scene. The other woman was behaving like a child in my opinion. Has the world has gone mad.

My sister and I told her that she had spoilt our mums birthday and She was clearly enjoying playing the victim. I think she was probably shocked we confronted her over it.

We left. Were we being unreasonable? Or has the world gone crazy? I'd love to hear you're thoughts.

The only musical I've been to where this has been tolerated was We Will Rock You, and then only the last couple of songs. It's not spoilsporty to enjoy a musical without wittering along or flapping about.

Bloody hell, is this normal nowadays? I shall not be attending any musicals!

And OP, your mother is very rude.

@howabout You are so wrong in saying that Glasgow audiences are happy with latecomers etc. Maybe you are just unaware of how they are inwardly seething.

Well OP your family behaved really badly and you ruined a lot of peoples' nights by not understanding how to conduct yourselves at the theatre. You behaved like a bunch of uncouth thugs.

Don't blame us for telling you the truth. Not hiding behind our screens just glad we never met your family on a night out.

I've not RTFT. However, It's a theatre. Unless clearly stated that it's a singalong, you DO NOT singalong!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

@cantbeatfreshsheets You keep changing your story. Wed 20-Nov-19 16:03:01
Yes We're late. 10 mins.

Now you say it was 2 mins.

I highlighted she was singing for all of about 2/3 choruses during one song.

That is more than one quarter of the song and more than 'one moment', if it was at least 2 full choruses.

Regardless, I think the zip motion was polite and not at all rude, it means please be quiet, and means that the woman wasn't talking unnecessarily. That motion is what you do when you are not supposed to talk ie in an exam, or in a theatre, or in a lecture - to communicate 'be quiet please' to someone else. It is a standard, accepted gesture/sign language in a situation where talking is not permissible.

What was over the top, was your mother's low class, bad mannered reaction, and clearly it was passed down to you, considering you think your mother's behaviour was acceptable. Your mother's petulant reaction was way over the top, your petulant reaction is even more way over the top. Especially when you not only double down, you go on to diss 'health and safety', too, and say she must have a 'miserable life', just because she can behave in public like a civilised human being who has been socialised in society? Your nasty response is the type of thing a nasty, selfish immature person would say. It is clear from your attitude on here that there is a lack of respect for others or personal responsibility and that has been the result of upbringing. Your mother may not have been loud however it is simply not the done thing to sing in a theatre production. It just......you shouldn't even need a sign to tell you this. My 6 year old would have known this. I mean, it is basic common sense. Social cues, as a pp said, would have guided you (ie no one else in the theatre singing except your mother). As I said above, people like you are the reason we have 'do not swallow' on shampoo bottles.

It seems the jury's out.
It really isn't.
There's a fairly strong consensus.

On a final note. I'm seeing Elton John next Christmas. Perhaps I'll start a new thread on etiquette at concerts????
If only common sense suggested that a night at the theatre is different from a pop/rock concert...
Oh wait...

On a final note. I'm seeing Elton John next Christmas. Perhaps I'll start a new thread on etiquette at concerts????

It would be much more useful if you can tell us when you're planning theatre trips so we know the nights to avoid.

I do wonder if the lady in front should have politely asked your mum to stop singing rather than doing the zip it gesture. I can see why this Might have upset your mum esp. as she wasn’t aware that she couldn’t sing. There are some rather judgemental people on this thread OP. I think the woman in front was also rude. Probably it was unwise to confront her as it clearly turned into a heated situation. A shame on your mums birthday.

SarahNade
IMO the zip it gesture is definitely rude. Wow - during my lectures (many moons ago now) no one was gesturing others to zip it.

I think your response is pretty venomous to be honest.

The OP is unequivocally in the wrong but I'm appalled at the equally rude and stuck up responses.

I've been going to musicals for years and I honestly didn't know you weren't supposed to sing along. I've never seen a single sign and there has never been an announcement to say not to sing.

I've been educated and shamed in one fell swoop. How charming.

I've been going to musicals for years and I honestly didn't know you weren't supposed to sing along. I've never seen a single sign and there has never been an announcement to say not to sing

I've never seen signs or announcements either, but then common sense says when you go to the theatre you don't recite the lines or sing along. You watch the show. You look around and deploy a tiny bit of common sense, which usually involves thinking "oh would you look at that, everyone is watching the show without disrupting and bursting into song".

The reasons the notices and announcements have had to be put in place is precisely because some people have no manners and need telling.
The problem with rude people is they all too often the first to feel victimised when challenged on their rude conduct.

I've been going to musicals for years and I honestly didn't know you weren't supposed to sing along. I've never seen a single sign and there has never been an announcement to say not to sing.

And I’m honestly amazed that anyone should think that you can sing along to a musical. Or would need a sign or announcement to be told this isn’t the case.

I enjoy musicals, and love to hear good singing. But I don’t think I would object to someone quietly singing along.

@RuggerHug surely R.E.S.P.E.C.T?!!

YABU . Theatre tickets cost a lot of money and your Mother likely upset a lot of people. I went to see a musical where a grandmother, mother and little girl sang out of tune and didn't even know the words add libbing with , la la la's. There was a long line at the interval complaining to the manager who had to come and speak to the family and then a member of staff stood at the end of the aisle for the rest of the show to monitor the bad behaviour. The family knew I was one of the complainers and were calling me a stuck up bitch.People near me said thank you for getting up to complain as they were so upset by the show being spoilt with selfish, inconsiderate behaviour. Who pays for expensive theatre tickets and wants to listen to crap people in the audience??? No one!!

From your OP, in my opinion you mum was being very rude by singing in the first place, aggressive to be tapping the lady on the shoulder to tell her "how dare you tell me how to behave", and childish for flouncing off during the interval.

I love going to musicals, I've never sang along or heard anyone else singing .

@Burratorchildhood

I think you are overreacting. It is polite non-verbal way of saying be quiet, where I'm from. You hear it most often from schools teachers speaking to particularly rowdy students. In fact, some early childhood teachers used a phrase before stories and learning time about zipping our lips (literally zip them with our fingers), eyes on me ( point to eyes) and opening their ears (placing hands by ears to open them up).

It is not rude at all.

@Gohardorgohome

We'd gotten how far into the thread with no one else noticing I cocked up that joke. Ta for pointing it out

I've been going to musicals for years and I honestly didn't know you weren't supposed to sing along. I've never seen a single sign and there has never been an announcement to say not to sing

Have you really not noticed that no-one else does it, other than maybe right at the very end when it's clearly invited?

*but then common sense says when you go to the theatre you don't recite the lines or sing along. You watch the show. You look around and deploy a tiny bit of common sense, which usually involves thinking "oh would you look at that, everyone is watching the show without disrupting and bursting into song".

The reasons the notices and announcements have had to be put in place is precisely because some people have no manners and need telling.*

Exactly, LolaSmiles

After yes a celebration and a few drinks. I never heard a thing. I was one seat away from her.

And yet you fully accept that the woman in front heard her. So it was, by definition, too loud.

Local theatres often care less than London ones, we saw Motown at a small venue near my mums and it was horrific but yes you could sing. Maybe try something like that OP. And if your mum still fancies a quick fight after there’s always the bingo or the queue for the burger van.

SarahNade
I am a teacher - still never said zip it 🤐

If I went to a musical to hear a professional production and people came in after it started and proceeded to sing along, I'd be fuming. I'm paying to hear the cast, not someone on a birthday trip.

I find it hard to believe it's a genuine question, it's so obviously a boorishly rude and entitled thing to do. Why would anyone think it's okay to sing along at a musical, recite the poem at a poetry reading, narrate a movie at the cinema or otherwise interfere with other patrons enjoyment of the event they paid to attend?

OP, you are unreasonable. And quite, quite, rude.