Singing along at a musical to cause such upset?

[cantbeatfreshsheets]

I went to a musical yesterday with my parents & sister to celebrate my mums birthday. We had a really nice day & this was the last thing we had planned. Arrived a few mins late and got to our seats with no problems.

After about 20 mins in. A catchy song came on. It was Tina Turner. My mum sang along for a couple of times during the chorus. It was hard not too. The whole show was about her being oppressed. Which is exactly how we felt after what happens next.

The lady in front turned around. Looked at my mum & said could you please, then used her hand against her mouth to gesture my mum to zip it 🤐 very passive aggressive.

Mum looked at us as if to say. What the F**
Anyway. She said I'll have to speak to her at the interval. Meanwhile I just thought what a spoilsport?!?! If you can't sing along at a musical what's wrong with the world. It's not like she was singing at the top of her voice???

It resulted with the lady in front going to make a complaint about my mum as mum tapped her on the shoulder and said during the interval How dare you tell me how to behave. My mum ended up going to see the manager herself where the other women was acting like we were trying to victimise her for not being happy against us telling her it was a free country. They said we were aggressive and being unreasonable?!?!

She said. It said on the way in you can't sing. We said. Well we didn't see that notice as we were late. We ended up leaving as my mum was so cross. There was a slight scene. The other woman was behaving like a child in my opinion. Has the world has gone mad.

My sister and I told her that she had spoilt our mums birthday and She was clearly enjoying playing the victim. I think she was probably shocked we confronted her over it.

We left. Were we being unreasonable? Or has the world gone crazy? I'd love to hear you're thoughts.

Live by the sword die by the sword if you indulge in twattish anti social behaviour people will make gestures at you. Easy to avoid

As I said yesterday, a quick gesture will be quieter and cause less disturbance than telling the OP’s mum to be quiet.

No, no, no. Unless the cast is encouraging you to sing along do not sing along. Or at least not loud enough to be audible to anyone else. And if you came in after the show started you were doubly rude. I love to sing along and have to stifle the urge, but I do so out of consideration for the people around me.

I have mouthed along but nothing comes out of my mouth. How disrespectful to people who have paid loads to hear professionals!

In a huge loud concert it doesn't matter if people sing in fact acts normally encourage it. In a theatre if would annoy me and I would be that woman asking you to be quiet. Went to a very small venue to see an old band that I love. A woman fee rows away talked all the way through first half. When second half started , so did she and I lost it. She got told that I had paid to listen to the musicians on the stage not to her chatting to her companion and if she wanted to chat then go to the bar! She looked shocked but shut up and the lady in front of her winked at me (coward). So imo yep you were in the wrong.

Most of MN: Yeah it's bad form to sing along.

OP's mum: Hold my programme.

i hate people who sing at shows just fuck off, let us enjoy the show with out your crap.

@onmogelijk

No, I didn't see that ...Yeah, it seems like OP's still angry and defensive. But I stand by what I say. I don't think she will be singing at the next musical she goes to, if she does then that would be very obtuse of her. I'm sure she'll calm down soon

They are even more unreasonable in the sports world. I was thrown out of a Manchester United game, after being manhandled by security.

Why do they sell team shirts if security is going to drag you off the field?

I have been to musicals where people have been singing and dancing in the aisles . What a fantastic atmosphere . Good for you mum

Earlier booster seat contretemps interfered with my ability to view this thread properly !

I agree with the majority. YABVU!

I had to tell someone to shush at a concert once. She was humming and da-dimming’ along with the orchestra. Seriously!

Well well, before I disappear into the abyss. I clearly couldn't not respond with such an overwhelming response. We have certainly ruffled a few feathers.

It seems the jury's out. WWBU.

Id just like to clarify...... firstly

A) we were about all of 2 minutes late. Yes not ideal. The ushers (yes the ushers) at the Aldwych theatre. (Perhaps take it up with them on their policies). Allowed us and about a dozen other people to watch the show on a screen before waiting for an appropriate time to allow us to be seated at which point we apologised to those 2 people who had to stand up to allow us to sit.

B) The singing (clattering from my mother for albeit one quarter of a single song) was not loud or bellowing. Just a moment where the words came out into an audible sound. After yes a celebration and a few drinks. I never heard a thing. I was one seat away from her. She stopped immediately after the lady turned around and rudely signalled to shut the F** up.

My original point was highlighting. That could the lady in front of perhaps approached her without mimicking the sign of 'zip it' in such an aggressive manner? The outcome of the evening may have been very different. If it was the other way around and something had bothered me. I would of at least started with 'excuse me'.

We were not thrown out. We left of our own accord as we felt as though we had already caused enough of a disturbance and it was the done thing.

For those of you that have used completely underhand vulgar comments. You know who you are and seem to feature as regulars. All I will say is. You're clearly as ill mannered as we are!!!!

On a final note. I'm seeing Elton John next Christmas. Perhaps I'll start a new thread on etiquette at concerts????

I'm very cultured and need to be on eye-level with Elphaba at all times

I absolutely love belting out a musical number in my car or while getting ready at home.

But part of the fun of going to a professional musical is hearing the actors sing the songs you know so well and getting goosebumps with excitement from hearing them sing it. I love musicals with a passion and often feel like I want to sing along, but I've always managed not to.

It's really not that hard to remember that you're not in your own bathroom when you're at the theatre. The hundreds of people sat around you are a dead giveaway.

Joyless thread. Glad all the performances I’ve been to see recently haven’t been so miserable. Ah well.

I hate it when the audience sing...pay good money to listen to the professionals

Of course the lady in front could have been less passive aggressive and if the thread was about that most would have agreed with you

But the escalation was entirely uncalled for

Singing? - at a show where people have paid to hear the performance?

No way - your Mum was simply out of order.

Other examples of passive-aggressive behavior might include avoiding direct or clear communication, evading problems, fear of intimacy or competition, making excuses, blaming others, obstructionism, playing the victim, feigning compliance with requests, sarcasm, backhanded compliments, and hiding anger.

I cannot stand people like you at the theatre. Landing in late is so rude. It is disrespectful to the skilled performers and other audience members. I pay good money for theatre tickets and do not want to hear some member of the audience singing along(normally tunelessly). Well done to the lady for telling your Mom to zip it. It was for the benefit of all people around you. Your mother was rude to confront the lady.

I’m shocked at this!! I have been to numerous musicals and sang along to all of them along with 3 or 4 other rows. I say what a miserable lot 👍

If it was the other way around and something had bothered me. I would of at least started with 'excuse me'.

Maybe she didn’t want to disturb anyone else by talking during the show. Because of consideration for others.

Other examples of passive-aggressive behavior might include avoiding direct or clear communication, evading problems,

It sounds like her communications with you were pretty clear and direct. You knew exactly what she meant. Very straightforward. I probably wouldn’t have done the zipping motion as it’s on the ride side, but no one can accuse her of being PA about it.

Sharing a description of passive aggression, especially with parts in bold, is so passive aggressive that I think I love you a bit OP!

You’ll need to sing along with Elton since he’s completely lost the top notes.

Totally love him, but we saw him in Vegas and DH said you could see him just counting the money.

I am really sorry about the upset to your Mum; but if there was a notice asking for silence and no singing along, then those are the rules. It's understandable that there might be a rule about this, since if everyone sang along, then the audience wouldn't be able to hear the professional singers. I understand that you and your Mum didn't see the notice, but I do think you over-reacted: the other audience member merely gestured to be quiet; she wasn't abusive.