To think a class whip round for teacher's Xmas present shouldn't come to £££

[lollapaloser]

My child is in first term of reception class. The class rep asked all parents in the class WhatsApp group if we'd like to contribute to vouchers for a Christmas present for the teacher. I said probably not, I'll just get DS to make or buy a small token something (from him). And wouldn't a group gift be better at the end of the school year?

Anyway, an 'experienced' mum with older children said a £10-£20 contribution per child/family is normal and it's split between the teacher and TA. Given there are 30 children in the class we'd end up with between 300 and 600 quid, which seems bonkers.

Turns out I was in a minority of 1 in thinking it was OTT/tacky/morally wrong. A few people jumped in to say how much the teacher does, caring for our children every day, going above and beyond, how wonderful she is etc. How none of us would think twice about spending £20 on a takeaway. Another said she couldn't get a bottle of wine and chocs for £20 so it's a good deal, plus it saves her time. And that she sometimes also bakes or whatever as well as the donation.

There are just so many things about this I don't agree with. It's the teacher's job, she's not a saint, wouldn't it embarrass her, she'd have to declare it, could it be seen as bribery, I think the parent who suggested we can all chuck £20 away without thinking about it is clueless about most people's finances, I think the thank you should come from the child, not the parents in a grand gesture of performative gratitude, if Teach is so wonderful why wouldn't you go to more effort, larger value doesn't equal greater thanks, if we're raising a big chunk of money wouldn't it be better spent on equipment for the school, etc . . . I could go on.

This is in a (turns out more affluent than I realised) London suburb. Everyone else has responded saying they'd transferred money, mostly a tenner. I know in the grand scheme of things a tenner isn't much but that's not the main point.

I actually emailed the school about this and whether their gifting policy could state a cap on gift amounts. But their reply just said parents can give what they want and that it isn't a policy issue as doesn't affect the children.

I reckon I'm the only one of 30 sets of parents not contributing. I now feel a bit isolated from the group for thinking differently.

*if

Fizzy

Absolutely. I just meant to say that it's not just about what you may be able to afford but also simply about what you may want to give.

DH is a primary school teacher. Every year he sends out an email to parents saying something like "Lots of pupils like to express appreciation by buying a gift, but I would prefer you to make a donation to charity instead" (he words it better than that).

That has cut down on it a lot. He used to get tons of mugs, socks, keyrings etc, which he appreciated, but didn't use.

I love a class collection, personally, because it saves a lot of effort, but I think a couple of pounds each is a sensible amount. Some of DH's class did this last year, and gave him an Amazon voucher, which was great.

Another thing he likes, if people do insist on giving a gift, is those cards you can get in coffee shops (I know Caffè Nero do them) where it's a Christmas card but also has a QR code that they can scan to give you a free cup of tea or coffee. He always uses coffee shop vouchers to treat himself after a long term!

Incidentally, if I'm buying gifts like that, I'd rather buy for Guide leaders etc, who are volunteers - teachers get paid for doing their job. Of course it would be nice to buy for everybody, but if I could only afford to do it for one group, it would be the volunteers!

Teachers get paid very little, a small contribution at Christmas and the end of the year seems only fair really.

Bet that swiftly comes to an end in senior school

I live in London and think it’s quite common here to do collections like this. £10 between 2 staff doesn’t seem a lot to me. At my children’s school, there is stress on anonymity so the teacher will never know who did/didn’t contribute, it’s just from the whole class, so no pressure on parents who can’t afford it or prefer to do their own thing.

Contrary to what someone else posted, for young teachers living in London, they don’t earn much relative to cost of living and we’ve seen teachers reduced to tears of gratitude for a £200 voucher. And most of them are young. Older teachers tend to move out of London or give up/change career because of the pay and/or stress.

And as a teacher myself, as touching as individual presents are, there are only so many key rings, teddies, mugs etc that you can accommodate over the years.
So, if done sensitively, with no pressure to contribute, I personally think it’s a great idea. Guess it’s something that will always divide opinion though.

Yes, what is weird (in an area where gifts and collections for vouchers for teachers is the norm), is how few parents give gifts to Brownie etc leaders - who do that 'job' completely voluntarily, giving up hours every week to do so, and really deserve a nice gift.

It was very much the norm to do a collection when mine were in primary although there was no set amount to chip in. Vouchers/gifts are then easily tailored to the recipients interests. I think gift vouchers would be preferable to 30 lots of cupcakes however lovingly they were baked.

I agree with you (HT here) and would be incredibly uncomfortable with such a gift. My favourites are home decorated writing pad, picture etc. Something from the child not a grand gesture.

@lottiegarbanzo "Yes, what is weird (in an area where gifts and collections for vouchers for teachers is the norm), is how few parents give gifts to Brownie etc leaders - who do that 'job' completely voluntarily, giving up hours every week to do so, and really deserve a nice gift."

The cynical part of me suspects that it's because there's no merit to be gained from impressing the Guide leader... no matter how some parents say "Oh, but Zoe just LOVES giving a present to the teacher!!"...

I hate this presents to the teacher thing. My children make a.card but that is it. Don't feel under pressure op to contribute, I'm sure you're not the only.one not to. Many teachers would much prefer a donation to charity than wasted presents.

if done sensitively, with no pressure to contribute, I personally think it’s a great idea.

This is the problem since you have no idea how sensitively it’s being done. As someone who tends to do my own thing ( sometimes I give something and contribute to a collection) I find it pretty offensive to be messaged directly by the class rep to say “ we haven’t received your contribution” which happened to me. Absolute Queen Bee syndrome. I’m sure the teacher would have been mortified to know that that kind of behaviour went on.

How refreshing it would be if it isn't a 50/50 split if the TA got the larger amount rather than the teacher given the TA gets paid a lot less.

I'm not a teaching assistant before anyone accuses me .

oh but that's clearly dickish - wanting class collections banned because someone did a heavy handed and incorrect job of it is too far. I've organised a collection before and never ever asked anyone who didn't donate or chase them up and I'm sure most organisers would never DM someone about donations.

SunshineCake
I've done both and think 50/50 is fair.
Any gifts are a thank you or token of appreciation gifts are for the respective people doing their jobs well. The nature of the two jobs is different, which reflects the pay difference (though I do think TAs should be paid much more in some roles).

Christmas gifts or thank you gifts shouldn't be linked to salary or position in my opinion.

in fact, I couldn't remember who gave, who didn't, or how much anybody gave (we didn't suggest an amount) - because I don't care, you give if you want to and you don't if you don't want to for any reason at all. I wouldn't overthink it @lollapaloser because I doubt the organiser cares, or any of the other parents.

I never discussed it with anyone and I can't imagine any of the other parents seriously discussing who gave what when they've organised it as that's really unusual bad behaviour. Have the courage of your convictions and make a unilateral stand rather than trying to stop other parents that feel differently.

They're fine as long as it's private and strictly optional, which most collections are.

Having been a secondary teacher and spending £££ over the years to maintain a functional classroom as neither the school budgets nor the pupils provide the basics, I buy the class team useful stationery for the class. I don't have to worry about leaving out anyone who supports in the class, and it will be useful.

I've got no objection to the idea of a collection, but the benefit of a collection is that a modest donation still raises a useful amount. £10-20 is excessive and not necessarily affordable to all families in the class.

It was years ago but I’m sure I only used to pay £2 towards the teacher and teacher assistant Christmas present. My DC would give a card too and sometimes the teacher would give all the children a little present such as a nice pencil with a rubber on the end.

We all put in £15 for hobbycraft vouchers, teacher and TA we're honestly so giddy - this is why they are teachers and I am not. teacher are amazing in all fairness and do go way above and beyond.

@Divebar
*if done sensitively, with no pressure to contribute, I personally think it’s a great idea.

This is the problem since you have no idea how sensitively it’s being done. As someone who tends to do my own thing ( sometimes I give something and contribute to a collection) I find it pretty offensive to be messaged directly by the class rep to say “ we haven’t received your contribution” which happened to me. Absolute Queen Bee syndrome. I’m sure the teacher would have been mortified to know that that kind of behaviour went on.*

I agree that that is insensitive and unacceptable. But, as I said, IF done sensitively. I know exactly how it’s done at my school. Some years I’ve been the class rep doing the collecting, some years not. Sometimes I’ve chipped in, sometimes I’ve gone with personal gift of wine if I know the staff well enough to know what they like to drink (parent staff socials are a big thing at my school). It is always worded as ‘IF you would like to contribute and we completely respect that some people prefer not to’. PTA ‘policy’ (unwritten but agreed verbally) at my children’s school is that there has never been private messaging or lists kept of who donates. Just a few while class reminders of the deadline for people still wanting to donate, that’s all.

That’s what I mean by sensitively. But I accept that some PTA behaviour in other schools is appalling and I’m sorry to hear about your example.

I let my children write a Christmas card along with the cards for her classmates. There are teaching assistants and other staff who are involved in day to day school life, where would I draw the line doling out money to them all?

Our primary school sends out emails asking that parents and pupils don't give gifts or contribute to a class gift. They do this as part of the school efforts to keep the cost of the school day down.

If a pupil wishes to give something they ask for a short note or hand drawn picture.

I think this is an excellent idea.

Why does appreciation = money though? I don't get thar thought at all. It's easy to give money into a collection (and some do it because they feel they have to not because they think that teacher has done a particularly wonderful job)

Are teachers paid their worth? No. Their job is valuable and they should be higher paid. Are teachers low paid in comparison to the average salary? No. I would bet my bottom dollar that my child's teacher earns more than I do.

@SciFiScream I agree with that.

Our school have cut asking for money for non uniform days etc right back in an attempt to cut the cost of the school day - it's become a bit of a buzz phrase.

They haven't yet said no to gifts though.