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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suggest that Mumsnet is quite sexist against men?

848 replies

Eckhart · 18/11/2019 16:51

I don't know if it's just the threads I've been on. I don't know how many men use Mumsnet.

Sexism either way makes me equally uncomfortable. How do other Mumsnet users feel about this?

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 20/11/2019 19:51

Oh my gaaaaaawd, can you like imagine if the genders were reversed, on somewhere like Pistonheads???!

No, I can't either.

I've had a lot of great recipes off of Mumsnet over the years, mind. Soup, that was a good one. Wine

Original poster
Eckhart · 20/11/2019 19:58

@LolaSmiles You keep saying the same things over and over: I'm misogynistic, a man, disingenuous, and a sealion. Other people have also said these things. I understand that you think that. Are you waiting for me to agree, or are you just taking pleasure in criticising? If it's the former, you're on a hiding to nothing. If it's the latter, it says something about you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eckhart · 20/11/2019 20:04

@JoObrien7 Here again is more accurate. I had to have a rest for a bit! Those that are left are still trying to prove a point, but I don't know what it is. I've added up the YANBUs and YABUs and it's roughly equal, but slightly in the YABUs' favour. I don't know what more anyone wants. I think largely they just want to have a go at me now. I don't mind that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eckhart · 20/11/2019 20:07

Panicandrun Because I was getting attacked as a one-person-representation of them, and if I see innocent people being attacked, I step in, where I can. As endorsed by many of those against me, on this very thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eckhart · 20/11/2019 20:09

@LolaSmiles If you're so convinced I'm lying, you're actually making a fool out of yourself by bothering to engage with me.

Having a difference of opinions is one thing, but your comments seem to be against my personality. You don't know me.

OP posts:
JoObrien7 · 20/11/2019 20:13

@Eckhart

You people? Don't you mean "You Women"? Wink

LolaSmiles · 20/11/2019 20:14

You keep saying the same things over and over: I'm misogynistic, a man, disingenuous, and a sealion.
Haven't said you're misogynistic or a man.

I've said you're disingenuous and a sealion, which is precisely why it was amusing that you're still claiming you had absolutely no idea what this thread would be in this faux naïve way.

Even to the end it's textbook sealioning because the sealion always claims they're just asking questions, just seeking opinions, I'm not intentionally being inflammatory, look how awful people are when they challenge me.

Having a difference of opinions is one thing, but your comments seem to be against my personality. You don't know me
Comments about your posting are different to personality.
More trying to play the victim here.

JoObrien7 · 20/11/2019 20:16

@Eckhart

Do you not work? I have been to work and then done some Christmas shopping and logged on and here you are again lol Just give up you won't win on this site .. try Digital Spy I like it there.

Original poster
Eckhart · 20/11/2019 20:19

@Loopytiles You mean it doesn't make sense to you. Which bit didn't you understand? I'll rewrite it for you using shorter sentences.

I've never, once, mentioned trans in any of my posts or comments on MN, so I don't know why you said that. This thread is about attitudes between men (the humans with penises) and women (the humans with vaginas)

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 20/11/2019 20:23

Lentil, that was another one.

Original poster
Eckhart · 20/11/2019 20:25

Lola Well, you've got yourself convinced, so I'll leave you to it.

JoO I have 2 jobs but I've had to have a few days off. This debate has been a brilliant time filler. I don't think I'll win (it was never about winning anyway) but I think it's puttering to a stop now because very few are posting and LolaSmiles has almost finished my character assassination. She's very entertaining in the way she thinks. She seems to really believe herself too.

I'll check out digital spy, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eckhart · 20/11/2019 20:27

AutumnCrow I wasn't expecting the word 'lentil' anywhere on this thread. Does it have a hidden meaning or have I missed something?

(Cue @LolaSmiles to say I'm disingenuous)

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 20/11/2019 20:29

No character assassination.
Just comments on posting approach.
Very different, much as it suits you to try and conflate them.

More amused by the "oh I had no idea suggesting MN is sexist / women are mean to men would possibly generate debate" and the subsequent "nobody can disagree on here / can't win / poor me the victim" thing.

Neome · 20/11/2019 20:33

Hi Eckhart do you think a section called Mensnet would be a good idea, kind of supportive safe space?

Or do you think a different approach to moderation would be a good idea.

I also wonder if it's sexist if the person commenting previously identified as another gender (profuse apologies if my language is on backwards)

Squirrelplay · 20/11/2019 20:37

Wind your cock in mate

Original poster
Eckhart · 20/11/2019 20:43

@Neome I'm not on a campaign for men! I just saw what I thought was quite strong sexism on one particular thread and spoke up, then got shredded because lots of people presumed I was a man. It felt like an experience of sexism to me, so I wondered what other people thought.

(@LolaSmiles thinks I'm a sealion and disingenuous for this, and also that I'm playing the victim. Oh, and that I think I can't win. And... no, if you want to know anything else about what I think, you'll have to ask her, she'll know)

I think trans politics is impossible, it just feels like a massive grey area to me, and I don't know what it feels like so I don't feel qualified to even comment.

OP posts:
Pineapple1 · 20/11/2019 20:56

It's a shame that some people here think men just don't care. They have feelings too... Just because they don't go around talking about it or crying on their mates shoulder doesn't mean they are feelingless monsters.

AutumnCrow · 20/11/2019 21:02

Harry Miller is a bloody hero on FWR

Original poster
Eckhart · 20/11/2019 21:03

Yes, it is a shame. They'll say you've got a 'poor menz' attitude...

OP posts:
Shooturlocalmethdealer · 20/11/2019 21:05

Why yes you are right OP. The LTB rolls off the tongue quite easily on here.

Eckhart · 20/11/2019 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LolaSmiles · 20/11/2019 21:09

Shooturlocalmethdealer
It does on some threads and on some topics double standards exist from some posters.

It doesn't make MN sexist though, and there's an increasing and worrying amount of people who are willing to apologize for poor conduct or pander to men.

Eg one thread (where lots of us had said that the OP was unreasonable and her DP was fine) had someone seriously suggesting that maybe the OP should make her DP a cup of tea in bed to help him get on with his morning tasks. He didn't need a cup of tea, nor did he need mothering.

Original poster
Eckhart · 20/11/2019 21:13

@LolaSmiles Gosh, d'you know what? Now you've explained that other thread, I'm totally converted to think your way. HUGE and VERY valid point you've made, there.

OP posts:
PanicAndRun · 20/11/2019 21:14

You keep fighting the good fight on behalf of men OP,poor little lambs obviously need you to.

AutumnCrow · 20/11/2019 21:14

Nope.