to suggest that Mumsnet is quite sexist against men?

[Eckhart]

I don't know if it's just the threads I've been on. I don't know how many men use Mumsnet.

Sexism either way makes me equally uncomfortable. How do other Mumsnet users feel about this?

Another area on here where double standards exist.

A woman posts to say she is pregnant - maybe had unprotected sex or didn't use contraception properly. Anyway, she's now pregnant, doesn't want to be and is asking about having a termination.

Posters will be sympathetic, supportive, give advice. No one will post to say why didn't you use 2 forms of contraception, it's your own fault, you shouldn't have had sex if you didn't want to get pregnant, you need to be sterilised or abstain if you're so against having a child.

Man posts to say that his partner is unexpectedly pregnant. They weren't using condoms for whatever reason and birth control has either failed or wasn't taken correctly. He's now devastated. Most posters will be unsympathetic, will tell him he's disgusting for not having used condoms (even if his partner agreed to not using them), that he's a pig for leaving it up to her (even if it was a joint decision), that he needs to have a vasectomy or abstain in future.

Statistically men are more likely to be attacked than women.

They are more likely to be attacked by a stranger, and they are more likely to be seriously injured. That is true. But the ONS says that women account for a higher proportion of victims of violence without injury. And then they say that domestic violence may be under recorded due to reporting methods and if that is factored in the figures change as well.

Statistically men are more likely to be attacked than women.

Do your statistics tell you what sex those attackers are?

Presumably you are talking attacks as in punching etc.

Does anybody have statistics on how many women are raped and sexually assaulted weekly or annually please?

I don't engage with 'hear hooves think zebras' on any thread because he is an utter misogynist who can go whistle for the questions/ comments he may have addressed to me.

isabellerossignol

We aren't currently discussing DV though are we? We're talking about intervening in a situation on the street. I said I thought a lot of the time it's less dangerous for a woman to intervene than a man. Though I don't think it's safe to do so a lot of the time. It's safer to call the police. But I do think there are times where a woman will be able to de escalate the situation while a man going in is likely to be punched.

I'm still waiting for people to tell me what all of the female bosses and managers are doing to make things better for people in the workplace. Women now have power in organisations, what are they doing about this?

Should we be policing all the women who are shit role models

Yes we should.

Does anybody have statistics on how many women are raped and sexually assaulted weekly or annually please?

And let the top trumps begin.....

I don't engage with 'hear hooves think zebras' on any thread because he is an utter misogynist who can go whistle for the questions/ comments he may have addressed to me.

I'm female thanks and you must be sexist for deciding that I'm male. Why can't women hold the views that I do?

The point i was trying to make is that anyone who would advise their daughter to a) run, or b) never be out after dark alone again (naming no names!) is generalising about the risk men - as a class - pose. There's simply no getting away from it.

Leighhalfpennysthigh

I agree.

I think men and women should be good role models.

Men and women should call out abusive, sexist, racist, disablist views whenever they see it.

I really fail to see how it's only men's responsibility to do it.

The point i was trying to make is that anyone who would advise their daughter to a) run, or b) never be out after dark alone again (naming no names!) is generalising about the risk men - as a class - pose. There's simply no getting away from it.

Who has advised that?

Pan you keep missing my point and I’m not sure if it’s deliberate. It’s not jumping into fights - it’s calling out the daily, tiny examples of sexism that women deal with every single day.

Just to be clear - when people say ‘men are more likely to be attacked than women’ it’s by other men. Still male violence, but this time against other men. Which is why it’s always brought up on these threads.

Good, did anything come of it?

Take a wild guess. The (male obv) MD emailed me back saying she must have misunderstood yada yada.

Hence why she will now be proactive.

I find it interesting though that men say they can’t intervene for fear of violence. There’s so many ways to intervene successfully without being aggressive or antagonising.

I'm female thanks and you must be sexist for deciding that I'm male

Presuming you also agree that the PP named Jo is sexist?

Does anybody have statistics on how many women are raped and sexually assaulted weekly or annually please?

And therein lies the question. How many incidences, how many reports or how many convictions.

Pumperthepumper

You might be saying that but other posters are saying that men should be stepping in to police other men behaving like thugs. But why should good men put themselves in danger?

And why aren't women also responsible for speaking up against the every day examples of sexism? I see lots of women managers not speaking up, some actively participating. Are you saying it's up to more junior male staff to call out this behaviour rather than more senior female staff?

What you're doing is assuming that all men are in positions of power, which clearly they aren't. Other things come in to play - finances, class, positions within an organisation. It's entirely possible for an individual woman to hold more power and influence than an individual man, so how can some responsibility for changing society rest with individual men?

But why should good men put themselves in danger?

Good men do.

Hearhooves I take your point, I had taken your statement out of context. Sorry about that.

Presuming you also agree that the PP named Jo is sexist?

Why? You called her out on it. So, it's wrong for someone to call you male, you said that you weren't and everyone had to accept it but it's fine for me to be called a man when I'm not? Is that your position?

Why? You called her out on it. So, it's wrong for someone to call you male, you said that you weren't and everyone had to accept it but it's fine for me to be called a man when I'm not? Is that your position?

No. I’m saying if this is your position I.e. a poster implying sex as a reason for your posting style is sexist, I’m surprised you didn’t call someone else out on it.

It’s almost as if there’s an agenda there. Almost.

Good men do.

Then, frankly, more fool them because they are the ones who will leave widows and children without fathers. That is not something that you should be condemning anyone for not doing.

Do you have a husband or a son? You would say they weren't a good man of they didn't risk their life by intervening would you?

No. I’m saying if this is your position I.e. a poster implying sex as a reason for your posting style is sexist, I’m surprised you didn’t call someone else out on it.

I did comment that it happens to me a lot and is sexist, actually, if you'd like to read back.

Do you have a husband or a son?

No

You would say they weren't a good man of they didn't risk their life by intervening would you?

My ex-Husband is one of the good men who did. As I said, there are ways to intervene without aggression or escalating a situation. My father has done the same. The guy I’m fucking has done the same.

I did comment that it happens to me a lot and is sexist, actually, if you'd like to read back

I’ll take your word for it. I really can’t be bothered to read back through. Thank you if you did though.

Sometimes there are ways of intervening without escalating. Many times it is simply luck.

You cannot say that someone isn't a good man because they fear someone pulling a knife and stabbing them. That's outrageous.

Why should it be men who are expected to put themselves in danger like that? That is sexist isn't it, forcing men to assume the tough guy protector role.