to suggest that Mumsnet is quite sexist against men?

[Eckhart]

I don't know if it's just the threads I've been on. I don't know how many men use Mumsnet.

Sexism either way makes me equally uncomfortable. How do other Mumsnet users feel about this?

Wow lucky you Sexless a man who washes dishes he uses, what a catch be careful though you don't make him wash too many he'll probably have the affair that will be your fault

It despair of how low some women's standards when it comes to men, how many do you think cite women as "amazing" for doing the dishes?

I see a real mix on here.

Sometimes I see women being quite misogynistic towards other women. Although that is more on active boards, maybe it is that fervour or taking someone down on the Internet, and it is often women who post so they are the ones ‘taken down’

I see less sexism than on the men’s and single dads forums, which are utterly utterly shocking actually.

I do see men being labeled as awful LTB if they haven’t done the washing up sometimes, but I also think that is a general ‘only read half the thread’ knee jerk response. Rather than a ‘hate all men’. Step mums get jumped on too, which I do think is misogynistic.

There is amazing advice for women who are genuinely in some form of abusive relationship. And I think the figure is still 95% of those reporting abuse are women. (Think that is right).

And yeah sometimes you get people being really cross say at a man saying he wants more sex, but a women will get a sympathetic response.

So imho some elements. However on the whole I think most women on here are in relationships and love their man, and aren’t particularly here to bash them. They love their fathers and sons and men in general.

I've been here a number of years and have found responses to my posts fair really. I can count the number of flamingo on one hand, par for the course for posting on a female dominated site.

Flamings, not 🦩

Ha ha! Flamingos. I thought I’d utterly missed some secret MN world.

@GunpowderGelatine are you ok? You’re coming across a little bit bitter. Does your significant other not do the washing up?

Sexless I wouldn't dream of finding "does the washing up" as a quality in a person any more than "goes to the toilet". It's a basic expectation that a human cleans up after themselves. But yes, I must be bitter if I don't applaud men for not being shit 🙄 sorry that you choose to aim so low, but don't assume that every other person is "bitter" just because they don't.

'...and he does the washing up' wow so he's an adult then. How impressive.

I just heard that it is International Men's Day today.

I just heard that it is International Men's Day today

The most used search term online on IWD is “when is International Men’s Day”.

@JacquesHammer

There you go

ukmensday.org.uk/

I think the world is turning to become more sexist actually. While I did spend ages explaining to dh that if you look at films how unequal everything is (Do you see a female James bond? Is there a reason captain marvel is the first female superhero lead when th eres been about a hundred with men?) I think the automatic reaction nowadays on everything is 'but why wasn't it a woman?' I've 4 dses and all ads now are 'girls you can be anything,' stem drives are going at full force and the girls now get talks on going into stem that the boys don't and were even taken off to Microsoft for an open day with the boys of the class left back with the teacher. That's not progress.

There you go

What’s your point? I know today is IMD. Obviously a sop to men who can’t cope with women being seen to get something they don’t.

That's not progress

Well defends on your definition I suppose. None of your examples are sexist.

@GunpowderGelatine, oh dear, you seem to have totally missed the point in your mission to support the fact that most men are shit.

Sexless pointed out the main reason why her OH was special, the reference to the washing dishes was humourous and referencing to the fact that this is regularly pointed at (or something similar) a reason why OH are rubbish!

What Iove best here are the constant threads about men not doing their bit in the house, but the focus is always relating to specific tasks. I've never read a thread that goes 'my OH never does the DIY, cut the grass, trim the trees, plant flowers, decorates the house, clean the car, takes the rubbish out and I always wonder whether in the list of things these men never do, there is some selective thinking.

I also think that too often, what are common and typical frustrations in stages of life, are taken as a reflection of who the person is. It is normal to feel exhausted and frustrated when kids are small, when both work FT, when money is tight. 9 times out of 10, both wife and husband experience the same frustrations and can both lists many reasons to blame the other for the way they feel, however, I think women are more likely to use this blame to condamn their partner, whereas husbands are more likely to just moan and get on with it.

A lot of frustrations expressed here would fade away if women focused on how to be more considerate of their partner's feelings so they could do the same, and everyone could be kinder rather than seeking approval here that their OH is a lazy selfish twat that doesn't deserve the fantastic lady that she is.

I think it’s right and good that women can have a space to have a women centred discussion. I do think there are often double standards on certain threads (eg SAHP) but someone usually points it out

Well defends on your definition I suppose. None of your examples are sexist.

Probably not, but not very inclusive. There's boys in the class from backgrounds with low education and I thought it was a pity that they weren't being shown what stem could do for them and what they could be offered

Actually OP, I think you are right when talking about some individuals and their situations but I think it's is just a small way of redressing the quite frankly still heartbreaking sexism, misogyny and violence there is against women in most of the world.

I often feel a bit uncomfortable with the difference in reaction there usually is to a woman who behaves similarly to the way a man might on here .

However this is because for me, I know that in my relationship I am the one who is the lazy unreasonable , disorganised and angry one, not my DH. But on reflection, I know this is unusual. In fact one of the reasons I am married to my DH is because he has so few of the traditionally 'masculine' traits I have just listed . That doesn't mean our relationship is the norm and I have to remember that

Often I find myself making excuses to myself for the man because my personal experience of them is such that DH is not a waste of space. However far too many of the women on here know better and in fact are usually right. i therefore rarely post on DV threads for instance as I know my thoughts are not usually what is needed . I also think if a man posts for help he does get some buy it will depend on what his situation is and how well he comes across more than is he were a woman. I am fine with that.

As individuals men have their own spaces and can go there for support. This is a forum primarily for women and as such women need support here and they will have more leeway than men.

Comparing housework to DIY and washing the car is absurd. Meals need cooked and dishes need washed every single day forever. The living room needs painted once every few years. Even the lawn only needs mowed once a week for half the year. They're not even remotely comparable.

And when women post here complaining about being at breaking point with it all, often the thing that is really wearing them down is that their partner creates a mess, refuses to help and then complains about living in a house that isn't pristine.

There's boys in the class from backgrounds with low education and I thought it was a pity that they weren't being shown what stem could do for them and what they could be offered

Boys as a whole do not find it difficult to get into STEM careers. However if you’re concerned, why not campaign for a trip for the boys?

Boys as a whole do not find it difficult to get into STEM careers. However if you’re concerned, why not campaign for a trip for the boys
The country needs many more scientists, engineers and IT professionals. This would probably be a good idea.

Dontdisturbmenow

I completely agree with you. Those threads where the DH is accused of not helping with the housework I do often wonder if he literally does nothing or if he just doesn't help with the things that his wife wants to offload.

I don't see why anyone should be expected to work in a full time job and then come home and do 100% of everything because the partner is tired from looking after the children. Especially when the children are at school.for at least some of the day.

I also agree with the fact that tiredness and lack.of money etc are just normal when you have little children. The amount of times you see men on here berated for the fact that as soon as they come in from work they should take over the childcare, send mum off for a break, cook dinner, do bedtime, wash up etc. At weekends it should be mum who has the lie in while dad looks after the children and then catches up.on the housework while mum gets time off and goes out with friends. It's literally bonkers. When does dad get a break?.

@JacquesHammer

Are you a man?

My husband works full time and I work part time so I do end up doing a lot of the housework etc. He does help out at weekends and he is going to strip the hall of wallpaper this weekend.

Boys as a whole do not find it difficult to get into STEM careers.

Some boys don't find it difficult. Many boys, particularly from working class families, do find it very difficult especially as white working class boys are the most under performing group within education.