to suggest that Mumsnet is quite sexist against men?

[Eckhart]

I don't know if it's just the threads I've been on. I don't know how many men use Mumsnet.

Sexism either way makes me equally uncomfortable. How do other Mumsnet users feel about this?

Oh my goodness, the poor men! Wouldn’t it be nice if they had some safe spaces where those pesky women with opinions and ideas couldn’t bother them...hmm

Haha, thanks for confirming what the OP is correctly saying!

But even if it came down to 15%, it's still a stat you can't ignore

The trend results from 2003-2012 showed the vast majority of crimes were still committed by men with around 88% of homicides and 75% of all legal felonies.[52] According to government statistics from the US Department of Justice, male perpetrators constituted 96% of federal prosecution on domestic violence.[53] Another report by the US department of Justice on non-fatal domestic violence from 2003-2012 found that 76 percent of domestic violence was committed against women and 24 percent were committed against men.

I'm not even sure how this data fits in to the discussion, but thought it was interesting. It's from Wikipedia, so apply your standard pinch of salt.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_differences_in_crime

Hearhooves

Yes, the assumption I'm a man is pissing me off. The assumption itself is sexist! In a fair discussion, an equal discussion, nobody needs to know anybody's sex. Why would it matter, unless somebody was using or about to use prejudice?

I'm sure the men will cope.

She may well be the victim of DA but she is also a cheat.

So what? Does it make any difference to the advice you would give the OP of that thread? If not, why bring it up except to stick the knife in a bit?

When people talk about men as a class, they tend to be talking about facts
When people talk about mumsnet as a class , as you are here, they tend to be talking about their own observations
Unless there is some rigorous statistical analysis that I have yet to see?

Because it's quite well known that you will tend to see and notice things that match your expectation.

So if you expect mumsnet as a class to be biased against men, then you can very easily read 10 things that disprove this, and one thing that supports your opinion, and guess which is the only one you will remember?

Hearhooves

What about the impact of childbearing and contraceptive use on women? There is risk for both parties so whilst a man has an absolute right to refuse a vasectomy, a woman has an absolute right to refuse to take the risk of pregnancy too, even if that can only be achieved through refusing sex.

In today's world, sex does matter. Because of social expectation, likely life experiances, conditioning and how that affects how people expect others to react to them

Personally, I always take it as a compliment when someone suggests I am a man on here

Hear well I read the OP properly and what happened was, she was kissed and didn't pull back. The bullying twat of a partner is now treating this like a gift that has fallen into his lap because he is and has always been, a useless, gaslighting, draining arsehole. The physical violence didn't come out of nowhere.
Have it your way though.

So what? Does it make any difference to the advice you would give the OP of that thread? If not, why bring it up except to stick the knife in a bit?

Bring what up?

The other thread. It's shameful to use that woman's problems as an argument on this thread.

Midgebabe Confirmation bias? Yes, I'm sure that's part of it all. My view of Mumsnet, general views of men/women about men/women, poster's opinions of each other, etc.

But there is vitriol here. People have been swearing and accusing me of allsorts, because I have suggested that women are sometimes sexist against men.

So if you expect mumsnet as a class to be biased against men, then you can very easily read 10 things that disprove this, and one thing that supports your opinion, and guess which is the only one you will remember?

And the opposite is also true. If you don't expect mn to be sexist against men then you don't won't see it because of your own biases.

On the feminist chat there's the same few pps writing pretty nasty comments labelling ALL men as one thing or the other. That's pretty horrible and hypocritical IMO. As a mother of sons I can tell you that decent men do exist.

OP
From the same Wikipedia page:

It may take the form of "incessant, bad-faith invitations to engage in debate".

Like claims of just being curious about lots of different views, just happening to wonder why MN hates men and is sexist towards men (whilst also saying "yeah but women are violent too").

What about the impact of childbearing and contraceptive use on women? There is risk for both parties so whilst a man has an absolute right to refuse a vasectomy, a woman has an absolute right to refuse to take the risk of pregnancy too, even if that can only be achieved through refusing sex.

Yep, absolutely. I've never said otherwise. I wouldn't though call her selfish, or a baby or belittle her for doing it. There's the difference.

The other thread. It's shameful to use that woman's problems as an argument on this thread.

I'm using other posters arguments that cheating isn't really cheating if done by a woman when she's drunk and it was only a kiss as an argument on this thread.

The op from that thread wasn't saying she didn't cheat. She was repeatedly saying that she had. So I'm not saying anything at all against her. I'm using other posters attitudes as argument on this thread.

LolaSmiles Yes, that's right. My point was that you were being unpleasant to me. You were.

Hear exactly. She feels awful about it and is remorseful, despite the vile partner. She doesn't deserve slagging off across the forum to for other people to score points.

Ignore the to*

You might not but there is a general expectation within society that women bear the brunt of contraceptive risk. Additionally vasectomy is 30 times less likely to fail and 20 times less likely to have post operative complications than female sterilisation. So the perception of relative risk is correct ie vasectomy is much lower risk.

Hear exactly. She feels awful about it and is remorseful, despite the vile partner. She doesn't deserve slagging off across the forum to for other people to score points.

And I'll say again, I am not criticising her. I am criticising the double standards of the posters on her thread justifying her kissing another man as being not that bad or not cheating when they absolutely would not say that about a man doing it. It's not about that op, at all.

Nice bit of misogynistic language there however. Careful, they'll be accusing you of being a man in a minute.

So the perception of relative risk is correct ie vasectomy is much lower risk.

10% risk of serious, long term complications isn't low risk in my book.

What misogynistic language? Surely you're not referring to 'slagging off'? How funny.
The OP of that thread is receiving the advice and support she needs. The focus isn't on the kiss and quite rightly, on her safety. Some people just can't stand to see others being empowered and want to knock them back down and remember their mistakes, however comparatively small, it would seem.

Going back a bit, it's very interesting that the proportion of women involved in violent crime is growing, it seems quite rapidly.

I wonder how that fits in with the anecdotes that are doing the rounds, about how criminals (males) are now targeting young girls in particaular for various things " here carry the knife" because they are less likely to be detected?