to suggest that Mumsnet is quite sexist against men?

[Eckhart]

I don't know if it's just the threads I've been on. I don't know how many men use Mumsnet.

Sexism either way makes me equally uncomfortable. How do other Mumsnet users feel about this?

@LolaSmiles I heard you the first 8 times. It's a jolly good thing I don't mind what you think of me, isn't it.

I haven't googled the sealion thing so i don't know what it means. I'm guessing you're being unpleasant; I don't need a dictionary to work that out.

OP do you get as upset over the wage gap, 1 in 5 women sexually assaulted, 1 in 4 victims of domestic violence (almost exclusively at the hands of men) as you do about an Internet forum that centres on women's lives slagging off men and calling out their behaviour as a class now and again?

OP I completely agree with you and I mentioned something similar to this on another thread when someone was complaining that their children’s dad takes his kids to eat in McDonald’s and some other restaurant once a fortnight. The tirade of abuse that was directed towards him was abhorrent. But you could hedge your bets that if the same poster came on here complaining that her ex never takes his poor kids out anywhere nice to eat and always makes them eat in the house he would have been slated for that too.

So yes, that’s mumsnet for you.

No, most posters didn't, now who's wilfully misrepresenting?

Still you. Read the thread again. There's a lot of 'what you did was wrong but' and pointing out the mitigating factors, and quite a few skirt over the kiss entirely, but if you count up the ones that actively excuse the kiss then you'll find they're not the majority.

There are also cases of members creating lists of users to target for cyber bullying both on 4chan and on Twitter/facebook

Which I’m sure you’ll agree is very different from making mental notes which posters to avoid on future threads....

Honestly, this is a waste of a good evening when we could all be sewing name tags on or overthrowing the patriarchy or something. I'm out.

@GunpowderGelatine I get pissed off about all kinds of inequality, yes. And my father was regularly violent to my mum so I've direct experience of that. I also have a few friends who have been victims of sexual predators, one so much so and all through her childhood that she now has cPTSD and feels she will be eternally broken. All these things boil my blood. I've been supportive of quite a few Mumsnet posters who have been victim to psychological abuse from their partners, because, having been through it myself, I have a level of understanding.

This 'Is Mumsnet sexist towards men' isn't a massive campaign I'm on. I wanted to know how people felt. They've flamed me, but they've also answered my question.

Think I might have been waffling there. Being asked something was quite refreshing, having been insulted so much!

there’s no such thing as misandry. It’s a name coined by those who have power over the sex known as female, in order to demand that women stop getting above themselves.

Just because it happens much less, it's very naive to deny that it exists at all. You might as well deny that Monaco exists because you've seen Russia.

Would you think that a certain President's (alleged) beliefs that he has the right to grope women stems from misogyny? I certainly would.

How then would you classify the behaviour experienced by not a few Scotsmen of (usually drunk) women groping them because they believe they have the right to look at and/or touch their genitals in order to see if they're wearing their kilts the 'traditional' way. And they're far from the only male recipients of such unwanted behaviour by females. There are far, far fewer male victims, but that doesn't make it somehow right or acceptable.

There was a thread on here recently where a female poster was complaining about her DH not earning enough. He was earning well, though less than her, in a good job. She got her arse handed to her on a plate and rightly so.

There are other threads where women are describing deeply abusive behaviour by their male partners where they do get told to LTB and call the police.

I agree with a PP that this is a place where women’s voices and viewpoints can be heard and that gives it a different feel in a society where men’s voices are viewed as more authoritative.

But you could hedge your bets that if the same poster came on here complaining that her ex never takes his poor kids out anywhere nice to eat and always makes them eat in the house he would have been slated for that too

I doubt it, given the barrage of 'it's up to him how he parents' I see whenever a poster complains about something that happened when he had the kids.

@JacquesHammer out of curiosity, how do you pick who to avoid?

Cranes neck to sneak a peek at spreadsheet

OP I completely agree with you and I mentioned something similar to this on another thread when someone was complaining that their children’s dad takes his kids to eat in McDonald’s and some other restaurant once a fortnight. The tirade of abuse that was directed towards him was abhorrent. But you could hedge your bets that if the same poster came on here complaining that her ex never takes his poor kids out anywhere nice to eat and always makes them eat in the house he would have been slated for that too
Absolutely bullshit.

Most sensible people would be saying that there's a middle ground between doing nothing and eating out at Macdonald's so often it's no longer a treat.

I haven't googled the sealion thing so i don't know what it means. I'm guessing you're being unpleasant; I don't need a dictionary to work that out
Not unpleasant at all. More descriptive and I'm not the only one to identify it.

YES Webuiltthisbuffet, yes! There seems to be a concensus that because it happens less, we don't need to do anything about it. Briliant Russia/Monaco analogy.

I was genuinely surprised by a pp's stat that 74% of violent crimes are perpetrated by males. I thought it would be much more. If that stat is correct, it feels like people are saying that 26% of violent crimes are somehow not worth paying attention too.

By the way, I love your username. I have accepted that there will never be an appropriate time to say it, so I'm saying it now.

I agree with a PP that this is a place where women’s voices and viewpoints can be heard and that gives it a different feel in a society where men’s voices are viewed as more authoritative.

I don't think that the op, and certainly not me, are saying that women shouldn't have their voices heard on here though.

I just don't see why men who post with very real problems that are affecting them no less shouldn't also be heard?

Have a look at threads about vasectomy - many posters will say that any man who refuses to have a vasectomy is selfish in the extreme as it's only a tiny procedure and look at what women go through, even when he's said that he doesn't want to have this operation. His right to bodily autonomy just gets chucked out of the window. Posters belittle him and down play the NHS statistics of around 10% of men suffering on going serious complications.

Posters constantly trot out the "men as a class" whilst actually talking about individual men. Surely "men as a class" isn't applicable to an individual man who is asking advice about his relationship or his children?

LolaSmiles It's a type of trolling or harassment, according to Wikipedia. That is quite insulting.

“My wife won’t have sex with me.” - “Do more housework, childcare & stop pressuring her.”

“My husband won’t have sex with me” - “He’s abusive / porn addicted/ cheating. LTB”

Although to be fair, it’s probably not far off the truth. It’s been proven that the more housework a man does in a marriage the more likely the marriage is to last. I mean no one wants to have sex when they’re exhausted and feeling used.

And porn does create expectations that aren’t always healthy for women.

I was genuinely surprised by a pp's stat that 74% of violent crimes are perpetrated by males. I thought it would be much more. If that stat is correct, it feels like people are saying that 26% of violent crimes are somehow not worth paying attention too.

What concerns me about that statistic is that women are seen as being "safe" so do we let our guard down around women when actually we should be wary, because 26% isn't an insignificant amount is it?

Can people stop bringing another thread into it, trying to misrepresent a DA victim as a cheat when she is no such thing, to prove a point that cheating is condoned on here? It absolutely isn't. I've lost count of threads started to talk about affairs where the OP unanimously has their arses handed to them. Every. Single. Time.

What concerns me about that statistic is that women are seen as being "safe" so do we let our guard down around women when actually we should be wary, because 26% isn't an insignificant amount is it?

Doesn't the way that the stats are compiled mean that some of those women will have been born male though?

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras 'Men as a class' is ok, but my referring to Mumsnet a having 'a way of thinking' has been flamed

And re voices being heard, yes. Everybody should be heard. Nobody should be oppressing anybody.

Although to be fair, it’s probably not far off the truth. It’s been proven that the more housework a man does in a marriage the more likely the marriage is to last. I mean no one wants to have sex when they’re exhausted and feeling used.

So a man working full time while his wife is a SAHM won't also potentially feel exhausted and used then, particularly if he's expected to walk through the door and take the children off her hands, plus do 50% of the chores, plus send her for spa weekends with her mum (was said on a recent thread)...

@RolytheRhino Yes, I'm sure you're right, and a small proportion will have been born male. But even if it came down to 15%, it's still a stat you can't ignore.

Eckhart

I totally agree with you.

What annoys me is that often I will be 50:50 in a discussion because I can see wrong on both sides but I'll get flamed by posters for not coming down 100% on the woman's side.

I can't understand how it's just so entrenched on here. In real life people are more able to see both sides but here, nope if you aren't 100% on the side of the woman you must be against women.

I also hate how you are assumed to be a man if you dare to have a different view point, which would suggest that it is expected that the women of mn are a hive mind. Otherwise we would be seen as women who have a different opinion, rather than different opinion = man, surely?

Can people stop bringing another thread into it, trying to misrepresent a DA victim as a cheat when she is no such thing, to prove a point that cheating is condoned on here?

She may well be the victim of DA but she is also a cheat. The two aren't mutually exclusive are they? And the cheating came before the DA (which doesn't mean that I excuse or condone the DA)

There's always pistonheads for anyone who doesn't like it here.