To tell newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on Christmas Day?

[GunpowderGelatine]

I'm hosting Christmas day at my house this year, not something I've done in ages. There's ten of us, including the kids, which is a great number - my plan, like every year I cook, is to order M&S food and pick it up on Christmas Eve then just bung it all in the oven and make some homemade gravy. I usually get a pork joint as I'm not a turkey fan, but will also be getting a turkey joint for my guests. I'm not usually the type to stress about Christmas dinner (it's only a roast after all!) but I also want it to be as simple as possible. One of my guests has declared they are now vegan. Which is a bit of a PITA for dinner if I'm honest as I'll have to sort a vegan main, gravy, dessert etc. I also have a nut allergy sufferer in the group which excludes quite a lot of vegan options as mains.

WIBU to ask the newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on the day or is that really rude? I've kind of planned the food around the size of my oven/hob and could do without the added stuff having to go in it (don't mind warming something up though)?

[OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg]

When I had a baby I made alphabites and sat around in a tracksuit for 6 weeks. no one gives a shit love

I think I love you, OP. Best response ever.

[SarahAndQuack]

Your guests are mad. Roast pork is much nicer than a turkey joint! I am with you on this.

[Lockheart]

@SarahAndQuack it might not be difficult but when you're cooking at least 2 joints of meat (one red, one white) for 10 people it's very time consuming. And for a special occasion and are unused to hosting then its pretty intimidating. I really doubt OP will get much time to rest until after lunch is served myself.

I've cooked dinner for 12 people before and even buying turkey crowns from Iceland with premade pigs in blankets and pre-chopped vegetables and instant stuffing it still took up the best part of 3 hours to do!

[caranconnor]

@aliensprig YABU. Most people do not have two cookers, so meat needs to be cooked in the same oven as a vegan meal at the same time.

[INeedNewShoes]

This is what vegan sausages were invented for. Buy some, throw them in the oven, job done.

You're using pre-prepped food for everyone else which actually makes this really easy without singling out the vegan guest.

[Disfordarkchocolate]

We have a son with an allergy and we regularly bring food for him. However, I feel very loved when someone says don't bother, we're sorted.

With a vegan, I would ask them to pick something from M&S and order that.

[UhareFouxisci]

I'd go for the Tarte Tatin as well (was about to post the link but saw someone got there first)

There won't be any food waste despite it being "serves 4" - in my experience of being the only vegetarian at a Christmas meal, half the meat eaters will want a "little taste" of the interesting looking tart and so the vegan will have a quarter of it, and the interested meat-eaters will have a little slice each, and the vegan will be lucky if there is a tiny bit left when you are offering round seconds of turkey.

[montenuit]

talk to the guest - explain the nut allergy which is making it more tricky to cater.

if they are vegan for diet/health reasons they might be totally fine with gravy, potatoes in goose fat, carrots with a bit of honey on etc.. They might be just going down the beans/pulses/lentils/veg healthy eating route and calling it "vegan" rather than a militant vegan iykwim.

They could be perfectly happy with a plate of potatoes, parsnips & veg!

[Elle7rose]

M&S have Vegan sausages in their order to collect range this year- perhaps get those and then ask her to bring a dessert that doesn't contain nuts?

[horse4course]

I'd ask if they're happy with just veg and trimmings. If not then with a couple of vegan sausages. If not then ask them to bring their own.

[Thisnamechanger]

UhareFouxisci

That's why when I make an alternative for one or two people I make enough for everyone to have a bit as a side as everyone invariably wants to try some

[SarahAndQuack]

Wow.

Well, TBH, I don't know what you did to take 3 hours! Honestly, this sort of cooking is really easy. That's why she's doing it!

Did you have to stop to chop the wood to fuel your stove or something?

[Pomley]

@purplefig so the vegans requirements supercede the guest with a nut allergy who would get seriously ill potentially from having a nut roast near their food? The entitlement is too much!

OP I don't think you're being unreasonable to be honest, if they don't want to bring their own they don't have to go.

[Lockheart]

@SarahAndQuack the "ready made" mains (the joints of meat) will be the most tricky and time consuming part!

I agree she should buy another one IF there is space and IF the person in question is not so strict a vegan as to need their dish put in the oven when there are no other meat products in there. But if that's not the case then there's not a great deal she can do without letting the other 9 people down. If she can make it work then she should.

[Sagradafamiliar]

I'm vegan, I think it's fine. I usually just eat the meal without the meat and thoroughly enjoy it, but if I want something more, I bring it myself.
Sainsbury's and Asda both have vegan wellingtons which are really nice and frozen ready made, as a compromise?

[Elle7rose]

Oh they might contain traces of nuts- supermarket vegan sausages w/o nuts would be fine. I was veggie (not vegan) for years and I just ate veggie sausages and lots of veggies- it doesn't need to be complicated!

[caranconnor]

If the vegan does not want their food cooked in an oven at the same time as the meat, I don't see how you could cater for them. Unless you buy a microwave vegan meal.

[Hiphopopotamus]

I don’t understand this ‘bring your own’ thing. Surely whatever she brings you’ll need to heat up in the oven anyway? Or does she have to have a cold main with her Christmas dinner?

[purplefig]

@HavelockVetinari @Pomley I didn't see about the nut allergy! Plenty of other nut free ready meals e.g. the Linda McCartney roast I linked to.

[GunpowderGelatine]

Your guests are mad. Roast pork is much nicer than a turkey joint! I am with you on this

IKR!! It's a good job I love them, because preferring turkey over pork with yummy crackling makes me want to disown them TBH

[Thisnamechanger]

Put it this way OP - yes it's a bit of extra faff and special care needs to be taken to ensure there aren't nut products used anywhere BUT assuming you and your guest are both normal, sane and kind people, think how grateful she'll be that you've made the effort to make her feel welcome and how much nicer that is a Christmas than feeling like you're an inconvenience? If my Dad cooked me anything vegan at any time of the year I'd probably be so touched I'd cry!

[SarahAndQuack]

Honestly, @Lockheart, I get that the OP has had some slightly judgy responses about cooking, but you are being ridiculous.

There is absolutely, categorically, nothing difficult about a joint of meat that's been prepped so you can shove it in the oven.

Yes, it will take time to cook. But there isn't actually a law stating that you must spend that time staring at the oven in case it explodes, rather than (say) going out for a nice two-hour walk, having a couple of glasses of wine with your guests, or really anything else.

[BennyTheBall]

I agree. Let them bring their own.

We have coming a coeliac, 2 pescatarians, 1 vegetarian and one person with (made up) allergies. I think if we added a vegan to our Christmas guest list my poor dh would have a breakdown.

[lottiegarbanzo]

If everything else is ready meals, get her a vegan nut-free ready meal, surely?

You could ask if she'd rather make her own thing - within nut-free guidelines.

[Considermesometimes]

I don't think you can ever invite anyone over and ask them to bring their own lunch!! It is exceptionally rude.

Make all the usual things you were going to make, veg, potatoes etc and just put out a vegan dish (quorn roast for example) it is the easiest thing in the world! Everything minus the meat should be next to know effort for you. You are just being a bit difficult, because there are so many options out there, we can't move for vegan christmas items this year in every supermarket.

You either invite others for christmas and be welcoming and graceful, or you serve beans on toast and stop whinging. You should not making them feel bad either way, it is poor manners and bad form to penalise others for not wishing to eat dead animals.