To tell newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on Christmas Day?

[GunpowderGelatine]

I'm hosting Christmas day at my house this year, not something I've done in ages. There's ten of us, including the kids, which is a great number - my plan, like every year I cook, is to order M&S food and pick it up on Christmas Eve then just bung it all in the oven and make some homemade gravy. I usually get a pork joint as I'm not a turkey fan, but will also be getting a turkey joint for my guests. I'm not usually the type to stress about Christmas dinner (it's only a roast after all!) but I also want it to be as simple as possible. One of my guests has declared they are now vegan. Which is a bit of a PITA for dinner if I'm honest as I'll have to sort a vegan main, gravy, dessert etc. I also have a nut allergy sufferer in the group which excludes quite a lot of vegan options as mains.

WIBU to ask the newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on the day or is that really rude? I've kind of planned the food around the size of my oven/hob and could do without the added stuff having to go in it (don't mind warming something up though)?

Last year’s Xmas dinner requirements included : 1 gluten free, 2 dairy free ( one of them me - both intolerant rather than fad) 1 no pork products or alcohol (religion ) and one Keto diet. All manageable because I had time to plan - cooking it myself from scratch ( except for some I person puddings) because it was easier and I knew nothing verboten was lurking.

This year two guests will be away - they are the only two without any kind of restrictions !

(And, btw, the OP hasn't given the slightest inclination she is incapable of cooking - she's been quite clear she's doing it to make things easy, so I'm not quite sure why you're so invested in telling us it's actually terribly hard.)

Now off to try not to think about delicious pork crackling and Christmas dinner. Damn.

...But, from a nut-free perspective, you retaining control over her food might be safer.

I think I'd find it more stressful with someone hanging around the kitchen attempting to heat something than doing it myself

If they are just vegan for the fun of it I’m sure they can eat what everyone else is eating for once, might snap them out of their weird food aversion too! If they don’t want to eat what everyone else is having ask them to bring something, not sure what if you’d no mircrowave and your oven is full?

"the "ready made" mains (the joints of meat) will be the most tricky and time consuming part!"

Yep, whacking those in the oven and forgetting about them for a couple of hours will be a right ball ache

Not a single veg on my menu would qualify as vegan do do be careful about that one.

When I had a baby I made alphabites and sat around in a tracksuit for 6 weeks. no one gives a shit love.

Flip do your guests really feel welcome? I expect people are trying to come up with excuses to give yours a miss this year!

It's not rude to ask, people with different dietary requirements generally expect that this will happen sometimes. That said if I were you I'd probably just buy something for them. It'd be a bit different if you were cooking everything from scratch and didnt have time to factor in a vegan alternative, but can't you just pick something up with the rest?

If you're buying pre--prepared anyway, I don't know why you can't just add that to your food shop - make it microwaveable if you're concerned about oven space. I understand not wanting to make something from scratch if that's what you're doing for everyone else, but if you're buying in anyway then it seems a bit churlish exclude just one guest, especially when there's no shortage of pre- prepared vegan options in the shops.

You're already serving two kinds of meat for people's choices and avoiding nuts in order to be a good host, how can adding a vegan option be that much harder? Either cater to your guests needs or don't bother.

I’m afraid I agree with dustyphoenix and pugparty. Did you invite the vegan, or did they invite themselves?
Surely your vegetables will be vegan unless you smother them with butter? Also, a lot of foods are unintentionally vegan, so it would be easy to find vegan puddings, mince pies, chocolates etc. I think it is a good idea to ask what they would want, but you would have to explain that it will have to be nut free. Although I get irritated that everyone assumes that most vegans eat a lot of nuts. DD is vegetarian and does veganuary every year, but doesn’t eat nuts because she doesn’t like them.

We have tried a lot of the M & S plant kitchen meals SmallPinkBear, and most of them are lovely, however that root vegetable tarte Tatin is truly revolting

Not everyone has three courses for Christmas lunch BigChocFrenzy. We don’t. We just don’t have the room. In any case the first course and dessert could be vegan.

Can I recommend Swedish Glace “ice cream”? It tastes just like bog standard vanilla ice cream, but is vegan.

Oh yes, M&S veg will be slathered in butter.

Oh fgs. If you’re going to M&S anyway, just pick them something up. They can eat the roast potatoes anyway (unless you buy the ones in goose fat). They can eat all the veg - sprouts, roasted carrots, parsnips, etc etc, How hard can it be? Just buy a thing of veggie gravy if you must and be done with it. There’s loads of vegan options in M&S - a whole aisle in fact. Bring your own food indeed!

@SarahAndQuack I haven't said the OP is incapable, I've said it's time consuming and can be intimating when you have a lot of guests for what is an important dinner. I'm a pretty competent cook and even I don't like cooking for large parties.

And yet most people on here seem to be under the impression what the OP is doing is no more difficult than a frozen pizza.

And there's no need to be facetious about the joints of meat exploding, but if you want to cook meat properly it needs care and attention. That doesn't mean staring at the oven (I'm not the one being ridiculous on that front, thank you) but it does mean you need to keep a close eye on timings.

If you get a readymade vegan pie - like the M&S root veg one - can't you pop it in the oven while the meat is resting/carving. You could pre cook it so that it only needs warming

The big risk of asking someone to bring their own food is that they will arrive with a number of items and expect to claim a shelf of your oven and 2 rings on the hob!

You could also buy/make something that could be wrapped in foil and popped in a corner of the oven such as a stuffed vegetable.

I have seen some vegan wellingtons in various stores but they all have a chestnut stuffing 😫

If they are just vegan for the fun of it I’m sure they can eat what everyone else is eating for once, might snap them out of their weird food aversion too

There is absolutely, categorically, nothing difficult about a joint of meat that's been prepped so you can shove it in the oven

@SarahAndQuack I agree it's not difficult to put ready made food in the oven, although timings can still be tricky if the oven is full of food

Nah tell the vegan to bring their own. It's a really restrictive diet and that's before preferences. My brother is a vegan who hates tomato based sauce and has a nut allergy. If I was in his shoes I'd merrily say don't worry, I'll bring my own! In fact I sometimes take my own to family events not because I'm vegan just because I'm a bit fussy and nobody should have to faff about just because I don't like noodles or whatever.

@crustycrab. Literally pissed my pants at that.

I think the clue is in the title "guest".

But, but .... the roasts are no more difficult than a frozen pizza! That's the whole point. I accept she's doing potatoes and gravy too.

You are making out that she's incapable by suggesting something like this is hard.

Many things in life are hard. This is not one of them.

Has everyone forgotten? Mumsnet is boycotting M&S this year!

If I invite guests to my home for a meal, I never ask them to bring their own meal. That's just rude and lazy.

I think it's rude to invite someone for dinner and then not cater for them. Particularly if you are providing two meat based main course options. Ultimately it comes down to how much you value the person and your relationship. If it's Aunty Doris and don't care to see them again then go ahead, if it's your son's future wife then make an effort. My PIL asked us to bring our own main course to Xmas lunch a few years ago (family of 4 veggies here, v the 3 meat eaters) we complied but refused all subsequent offers for Christmas Day since. There loss, they don't see the grandkids on Xmas Day. Didn't make us feel very welcome.

The ready prepared veg and potatoes will be slathered in butter and goose fat.
And it is unfair to penalise other guests including the OP by having vegan desserts and mince pies.