To tell newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on Christmas Day?

[GunpowderGelatine]

I'm hosting Christmas day at my house this year, not something I've done in ages. There's ten of us, including the kids, which is a great number - my plan, like every year I cook, is to order M&S food and pick it up on Christmas Eve then just bung it all in the oven and make some homemade gravy. I usually get a pork joint as I'm not a turkey fan, but will also be getting a turkey joint for my guests. I'm not usually the type to stress about Christmas dinner (it's only a roast after all!) but I also want it to be as simple as possible. One of my guests has declared they are now vegan. Which is a bit of a PITA for dinner if I'm honest as I'll have to sort a vegan main, gravy, dessert etc. I also have a nut allergy sufferer in the group which excludes quite a lot of vegan options as mains.

WIBU to ask the newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on the day or is that really rude? I've kind of planned the food around the size of my oven/hob and could do without the added stuff having to go in it (don't mind warming something up though)?

@HavelockVetinari, have you missed the bit where she's getting it all ready made?

She is literally only cooking gravy.

I don't think that's a big ask really, is it?

There's no need to forgo the gravy, bisto granuals are vegan.

I am not a Vegan but you aren't cooking Christmas dinner! In my late 20s when I had a baby I cooked everything from Delia Smith's cookbook and I mean EVERYTHING! I even gave neighbours homemade Xmas puds started in September. Put another tray in the oven and get over yourself humbug!

Also, the nut allergy sufferer hopefully only has an allergy to nuts they actually eat and not traces, otherwise having them around a normal meal (let alone a vegan one) won’t be safe. That means cooking both dishes seperately should be enough - ie one in the microwave and one in the oven. If you must get someone to bring their own meal then it should be the nut allergy sufferer

I can't believe the posters are saying "you are just popping things in the oven" - just because she's not using every pan in the house and starting her sprouts at the end of November does not mean she's not doing anything.

I'm doing a M & S Christmas and just sitting back and drinking bucks fizz.

@SarahAndQuack why confused? Most people don't prepare their own meat (unless you're in the habit of buying whole, ungutted carcasses).

I imagine OP will put the pork joint and turkey in the oven, then use the juices to make the gravy.

@SarahAndQuack I didn't miss that bit. I was responding to the eejit suggesting OP doesn't make the pork she likes (she states she doesn't like turkey) to make room for some vegan food - there is limited oven space.

I'd give them one of those cauliflower steaks. You can put it in the oven with everything else.

OP if you want to get them something LOADS of the supermarkets are pushing the boat out on vegan Xmas food this year, not just M&S. Tesco have some nice looking bits this year, so do Aldi.

Being newly vegan at a festive time of year is probably really hard so I bet she'd really appreciate it if you made the effort for her!

@balleticspin well done you! Such a superwoman!

Meanwhile in 2019, OP can do as much or as little as she likes. Women no longer need to martyr themselves at Christmas by doing everything for everyone.

@SarahAndQuack I imagine the meat she is buying will be raw. As will the vegetables etc. It really won't just be a case of bunging things in the oven and leaving them as you'll need to make sure you get your timings right, together with different temperatures, turn the potatoes, baste the meat (if applicable), rest the meat etc etc. The prep might be taken out of the equation but I don't think that means the OP can sit back and let it all go by itself.

I'm vegan.

I'd find it a bit odd that you're hosting and cooking for everyone else, but unable to bung a nut roast in the oven. They're not exactly hard to come by these days and you're going to m&s anyway.

That said, if it is too much effort for whatever reason - I'd rather you said than be passive aggressive about it.

I catered for 15 plus a vegan at the weekend. It really isn't difficult. Vegan soup for starter. Aubergine bake for main, vegan trifle for desert. You can easily buy dairy free products now in any supermarket. It really isn't a big issue.

Tell her to eat before she comes and you'll get her some nibbles. Can't be arsed with all that crap

Xmas at your house sounds lovely

This is in good housekeeping

I do everything easy M&S and thought it was cooking. I always accept all the glory.

Yeah, but you also said she was doing everything else.

She isn't.

I do agree with you that I wouldn't, personally, expect a host to eat a meal they didn't like (and I don't see why everyone shouldn't have pork, or some meat everyone enjoys - turkey isn't mandatory).

But you can't base your argument on the amount of cooking the OP is doing, because she's not really don't any cooking. She's just figuring out logistics for heating things up.

"You give the vegan a slice of melon as a starter, heat up a vegan main dish and gravy, all the veg are the same, use a vegan Christmas pudding and mince pies for everyone"

So a different starter and main, different gravy, then change the dessert

not being able to add bacon, butter etc to veg dishes
goose fat to roast potato

Miserable Christmas lunch

brandy cream & brandy butter ... ok the vegan can skip that

I'd specify no taste compromises for the other guests
and I'd regard that as having to prepare 2 different Christmas meals, while also havinf to keep it nut.free

I'd always cater for the allergy sufferer, but too much faff to cater for a vegan as well, in a 3+ course meal

"Traditional Christmas foods are so meaty! Even the desserts."

Eh? What do you have for pudding in your house. OP cater for your guests.

I think I may ask them to pick from the M&S menu (thank you to the PP who linked to the vegan tarte tartin I hadn't seen that) or if they want to bring their own. I can shove a small tart in an oven I'm sure just realised I'll also need a vegan starter as I'm serving salmon! Gah!

For those asking

• I am making my roasties in goose fat (I forgot about these but besides gravy it's the only other homemade thing I'll be doing) and I refuse to forgo them but I'll pop some new potatoes on boil too.
• the meat is coming raw so that's how I'll make my homemade gravy.
• nut allergy sufferer has a very severe allergy and can't be in the same room as nuts (I am grieving for my chestnut, sprout and pancetta side dish already 😭)
• I loathe mince pies but will be getting some for guests and will try the vegan ones thank you!

I am not a Vegan but you aren't cooking Christmas dinner! In my late 20s when I had a baby I cooked everything from Delia Smith's cookbook and I mean EVERYTHING! I even gave neighbours homemade Xmas puds started in September. Put another tray in the oven and get over yourself humbug!

This is a violently MN response 🤣 Woopee Doo for you wonder mum. When I had a baby I made alphabites and sat around in a tracksuit for 6 weeks. no one gives a shit love

The whole of our Christmas meal will be vegan with the exception of a turkey - always has been. Same as our Sunday roasts are vegan with the exception of the beef. It's really not difficult.

Roast potatoes in oil not duck fat, olive oil mash and do the vegetables without butter eg carrots vichy and sprouts and chestnuts pan fried in sesame oil.

Lots of Christmas puddings are vegan now and you can get Oatly custard too. Other guests are welcome to add cream if they want.

You might find the nut allergy trickier.

@purplefig are you illiterate as well as vegan? The OP states in the first post that another guest has a nut allergy so a nut roast isn't possible.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. I understand the nut allergy of your other guest but I'm sure you could buy something that wouldn't be terribly troublesome to heat up and a cold dessert to serve.

I wouldn't invite someone to dinner then ask them to bring their own food.

Since you don't have a microwave, you'd still need to heat their food in the oven whether they buy it or you do, so I don't see how not having room in the oven makes a difference to who buys the food.

It sounds more like you're punishing the guest for making a choice that you find annoying or unnecessary. Since you're buying M&S prepared food anyway, I can't see why it's so hard to find a vegan portion of something.

Veganism is really not that 'out there' nowadays and good hosts cater for their guest's dietary needs. But if you don't like the guest or want to make a point, then crack on.

@Lockheart - I sort of see what you're saying, but ... unless the OP is actually a very articulate eight year old, that's not very difficult, is it?

That's the whole point of buying ready-made. It's piss easy and lets you get on with socialising unhampered.

But, the flip side is that you can't really complain it was too hard for you to bung a vegan option in too.

If it's a space issue, that's different.