To tell newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on Christmas Day?

[GunpowderGelatine]

I'm hosting Christmas day at my house this year, not something I've done in ages. There's ten of us, including the kids, which is a great number - my plan, like every year I cook, is to order M&S food and pick it up on Christmas Eve then just bung it all in the oven and make some homemade gravy. I usually get a pork joint as I'm not a turkey fan, but will also be getting a turkey joint for my guests. I'm not usually the type to stress about Christmas dinner (it's only a roast after all!) but I also want it to be as simple as possible. One of my guests has declared they are now vegan. Which is a bit of a PITA for dinner if I'm honest as I'll have to sort a vegan main, gravy, dessert etc. I also have a nut allergy sufferer in the group which excludes quite a lot of vegan options as mains.

WIBU to ask the newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on the day or is that really rude? I've kind of planned the food around the size of my oven/hob and could do without the added stuff having to go in it (don't mind warming something up though)?

I would say to them is there anything on the M&S range they would like you to order or would they prefer to bring their own? That way you’ve offered but they’ll likely say they’ll bring their own.

I’ve been vegetarian for 28 years and it’s so weird now people actually catering for this, for me it’s second nature to always bring my own because everyone thought vegetarian was a pain in the arse but now vegan and gluten/nuts are common place avoidances.

YANBU - but they might just agree to eat turkey anyway if it’s for diet based rather than ethical reasons

OP see that's the problem for me...if you ask them to bring their own you can't reasonbly also assert it be nut free. (even if you ask it to be nut free you won't control what they actually bring - what are you going to do if they get it wrong!)

If YOU deal with it you CAN assert the meal be nut free.

try: this

Quorn or other vegan sausages. Ready done vegan gravy and they can eat your veg.

Quorn isn't always vegan

Oof that's going to be a pain in the arse. Traditional Christmas foods are so meaty! Even the desserts. Will the vegan guest be ok with their food being in the oven at the same time as meat?

I'd agree if nut free is essential it would be better if you sorted it.

YANBU

Christmas lunch means at least 3 courses with all the trimmings
That's a lot of stress, planning oven use / timings, worktop space, fridge space ....

Christmas is the one time you don't want to compromise taste for everyone else
So if you additionally cater for a vegan, you basically have to do a whole separate 3 courses, separate wine and scan the label of every damn thing

Especially difficult when you also have to check for any traces of nuts or sesame,
i.e. things which could kill someone, as distinct from offending them

whereas for a simple1-course meal, it's reasonably easy to bung in a read-made vegan option

and of course if they refuse to let their food share an oven,
or even in the extremes to use dishes, plates, cutlery that might have - before being washed - touched animal products .....
ARRGH, then they should bring their own tupperware and cutlery too.

A word of caution - unless Quorn is specifically labelled as from their vegan range, Quorn is not vegan. It has egg white in it.

I agree with others saying that as you're not actually cooking, it is really cheeky to ask them to bring their own. If you don't have space to heat it up, how are they supposed to manage?

I think you should either drop one of the choices of meat, or substitute it for something where you can juggle timings.

(Btw, am I the only one confused how on earth you make home made gravy when you've not prepared the meat?)

Buy some Quorn vegan fillets, they can eat those with normal veg from M&S.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.quorn.co.uk/amp/products/vegan-fillets

Order one of these nut-free Christmas puds that happen to be vegan and voila, job done:
www.fortnumandmason.com/products/gluten-free-nut-free-vegan-st-james-christmas-pudding-454?channel=ppc&gclid=Cj0KCQiAn8nuBRCzARIsAJcdIfNW1b6AumP7sAdSwiJN35Y5rFikenL1EyFlk0lkpUJS2fZ38bNVAFMaAp_UEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

I'm sure the vegan guest can forego gravy, I wouldn't bother with that. They've chosen to be awkward, they can do without.

YWNBU to suggest that everyone brings a contribution regardless of personal food needs, catering for loads of people is stressful and expensive!

You can get vegan quorn fillets which take up limited space in the oven, and they can then have the veg. If you buy it, you can guarantee that it's nut free.

You're doing two kinds of meat and catering for someone with a nut allergy, but won't provide a Christmas meal for a vegan? Most hosts put their guests first, so don't buy the pork. Then there's plenty of room to heat up a meal for everyone.

OP:

Ask your guests with the nut allergy if they are sensitive to nuts in the same room,
or whether they just need to avoid putting it in their mouths

In the former case, warn your guest that she should bring a vegan meal that is 100% nut-free

I bet the "vegan" changes their mind on Christmas Day and scoffs everything!

It’s not like you’re cooking. Just go to M&S and order a vegan main and serve it to her (make it clear to the other guests it’s for her).

So if you additionally cater for a vegan, you basically have to do a whole separate 3 courses,

No you don’t. You give the vegan a slice of melon as a starter, heat up a vegan main dish and gravy, all the veg are the same, use a vegan Christmas pudding and mince pies for everyone. Job done.

Tell her to eat before she comes and you'll get her some nibbles.

Can't be arsed with all that crap. Purging indeed!

@Quiethowlsinluditebeck the OP doesn't like turkey. She's already doing bloody everything, why should she be the only one not to get a proper Christmas meal? Don't be absurd.

Sort out the timings so you can allocate them space in the oven to heat up their meal

I don't think that's rude.

I'm veggie, I'd have no problem sorting my own.

Meet half way and ask for some links to good vegan desserts that they like. Make them do the legwork but get the dessert. Then ask them to sort their main.

I'd cater for them, as I invited them. However I totally get the annoyance in having to do a second meal for someone.

I think it's better for her to bring her own as she knows what she likes and what is nice.

YABE. You already buy stuff from M and S to bung in the oven. Talk to staff and ask them to recommend suitable vegan and nut free food you can bung in the oven. It really won't be a big deal. A Christmas vegan main for one you put in the oven, a pouch of ready made vegan gravy, and a small vegan nut free pudding.

I'd make sure that there were vegan versions of the side dishes and dessert though.