To feel angry when strangers touch my dd?

[IcingOnTheCake]

My dd is 10mths and it's lovely when people say how cute and pretty she is but why do they feel the need to touch her? People touch her hands, arms and face and i really don't like it. I just want to push them away and shout 'don't touch my baby!', i wouldn't do that of course, i just stand there and feel angry.

It always happens in supermarkets, especially at the checkout. Am i just a grump or is it ok for me to not want strangers touching my dd?

When I had my first DS I lived in Wales and people were always coming up and pressing money in his hand as it is lucky.

I thought it was a lovely idea although you have to rescue the coin before he swallows it!

Strangers touch adults too in Wales, usually an arm round the shoulders.

I think that if peeps personally have a problem with peeps touching their babies/toddlers then thats up to them so long as it doesnt leave the admirer feeling hurt or offended thats fine.
Although its been said that the person making a fuss of baby might be lonely and a certain tolaration of that person is accepted out of sympathy, i also think that if i was a new mum and had been up all night with my baby perhaps raising my child singlehandedly that person in the supermarket, smiling face, admiring my child and making a little smalltalk might be a refreshing welcome change from the isolation some feel when they're a new mum.
Obviously if you have a problem with the way that they touch ypour child you can smile, make your excuses and run for the sale aisle....instinct normally will tell you if you're not comfortable.
My previous employer was greek cypriot and loved to pinch childrens cheeks she smiled but the babies just looked confused.

bubblepop you really thought that old lady was going to maul your child?

your post makes me feel very sad indeed for that poor woman

bubblepop your post is appalling

I actually think its lovely if people want to express positive feelings towards DD and if they want to touch her whats the problem? Cant imagine anyone could be dirtier than she gets rolling around the floor all day.

Know its the other side of it but DH and I were sitting on some steps in central London a year or so ago before we had children when a toddler ran up behind us, stood in between us and gave us both a massive hug! His father was very apologetic but we thought it was adorable.

Have to say that if a child expresses dislike of being touched by someone I wouldn't dream of forcing them. That is different to a parent expressing their own dislike of their child being touched regardless of what their child feels.

Oh what a load of self righteous tosh on this thread. You should do this. You're a bad person if you don't do that. What about other people's feelings? So what if you don't like it? Button your lip. I've never read such cobblers.

spandex, isnt that what ALL the threads are like, our desire to fit in is sooooo great we have to run it past mumsnet first

I'm all for hearty discussion but I think it's a bit much the way a few posters think that one should sacrifice one's own personal feelings about this issue so that some old lady doesn't get hurt? What? And in fact, some posters on here who think the various old lady's feelings are so important have no issue with being highly critical and perhaps hurting the feelings of some posters on here.

It's just double standards in the name of "I'm such a good person I let people touch my children and my bump because it makes them so happy and I'm so human and loving and therefore far superior to you because you prefer it that people don't touch your children or your bump."

It's rot.

I must say that I am (as already stated) very trusting and do not mind if someone smelly etc touches me or dd (with good intentions of course). I always talk to 'nutters' as described below and enjoy random conversations - hate that my sister does the ignoring thing. So rude. I live in Hackney so certainly a variety of people in our community.

HOWEVER, I do think ultimately our dd's safety and feelings comes before the feelings of others so if someone is slightly put out because your instinct says uh oh, then tough. They are the adult they will have to deal with it (but you can do it politely of course).

I hadn't read such cobblers until i read your post spandex

I hadn't read such cobblers until i read your post spandex

Bite me! Ooooh, no don't touch me!

That was joking in case that wasn't clear!

The original point was that i don't mind people coming up and chatting to dd and being friendly but i draw the line at them touching her. This then turned into people thinking i wanted to put dd in a bubble and not let anyone go anywhere near her!

I agree with Spandex when she said people are so worried as to not hurt the feelings of strangers etc but have no problem in being nasty and hurtful to people on mn!

I was joking too, Icing.

Not everyone's so worried about hurting the feelings of strangers. Uptight and germ-phobic.

I think it is hugely anally retentive and uptight to be bothered by this (unless the stranger is extremely unsavoury i.e. reeking of booze, body odour or similar)

yes that's what I meant, hmc. I garbled a bit.

lol....nah you didn't

I actually think it's rather sad too. No wonder we have no sense of community if people are so mistrustful and guarded that they are repelled by strangers trying to express warm sentiments about their babies. Sheesh

and 'touch' is a means of expression

In that case, I meant to write:

"I'm such a good person I let people touch my children and my bump because it makes them so happy and lets them express themselves and I'm so human and loving and therefore far superior to you because you prefer it that people don't touch your children or your bump and you are constipated."

Parp.

Haven't read the thread but I when I was having a bad days I used to purposely frequent local shops with my ds in order for the shopkeeperes to coo and chuckle over them. It made me remember he was very cute and not satans spawn. The best one was the lebanese greengrocer who used to kiss him and give him a lollipop (he was about 6 weeks old!)

lol, someone has 'ishooes'!