Small chocolate bar

[SoapOperaFamily]

Who is BU here? We have a houseful of family today. DD went to the shops and offered to buy everyone a packet of sweets. Person A asked for a small chocolate bar, Person B said they didn’t want anything. DD got home and handed out the sweets. Person B asked Person A if they could break their bar of chocolate into 2 and give them a piece. Person A said they would like to eat this particular bar themselves, but there was more chocolate in the cupboard. Person B said they wanted a piece of Person A’s chocolate in particular. Person B was told they could have ordered their own bar if they wanted one, but Person B wanted a piece of Person A’s chocolate because they didn’t want a whole bar. Words were exchanged on both sides. Should Person A have shared, or should Person B have ordered their own bar?

This reminds me of the Gavin and Stacey episode about the Indian Takeaway. B is an entitled idiot, I hope A didn't share.

but when someone’s got a shed load of stuff and you ask first it’s not a big deal surely?

But why can’t you get your own stuff? Why the need to have some of somebody else’s?

If someone has bought themselves some chips, they bought them to eat them self. They didn’t buy them to then share half with you. Why should they pay for something and you get some of it for free?

You know I’ve never asked anyone if I can have a bit of their food. Ever. Because I’m not a freeloader.

Because if I’m sitting there salivating at what they have I generally think “ooh I fancy that, I’ll go buy some”. And I go buy my own.

If someone wanted to share their food with you, they’d offer. If you have to ask, they probably don’t.

Who even buy's a SMALL chocolate bar ... go figure!?*

If someone has bought themselves some chips, they bought them to eat them self. They didn’t buy them to then share half with you

But how do you know that without discussing it?

If I want some chips, I usually want about a third of what they sell you. Same for puddings as the portion is often huge, it's not competitive undereating at all, many places sell portions that are far too large for one person for one meal, especially if you want more than one course, ie a main and actually have a pudding for once instead of being too full after the main.

If I order a pudding, I've usually had enough well before I've finished it and will literally feel sick if I try to eat it all.

So if you're dining with someone similar, it makes sense to share one large portion, rather than buy two portions, most of which will be wasted, or eaten and make people uncomfortably full.

So BarbaraofSeville, in that instance, yes talk about it before you both order. But if the other person says, “No, I’d like to eat all of my dessert myself, thanks” then it’s clear they don’t want to share. So don’t ask for any!

I can’t stand these people who just assume they can ‘have just a small taste’ of someone else’s food! How about a spoonful of fuck off?!

Oh dear, Funguy - Yoghurt sloshed onto Christmas Pudding? Yeurk! I'm not sure you could even get away with feeding that to a dog......

Ok the Person Bs of this world are annoying (I'm married to one) but I can't muster up the level of rage some posters are displaying! I always would offer a bite of pudding//sip of cocktail//chip etc to my dining partner, especially if they didn't order their own. I would probably put my foot down and insist on ordering another if the Person B wanted to split 50/50 but I'm not going to get worked up about offering up a tithe!

But how do you know that without discussing it?

Because they’d offer them to you! If I buy some food and think I won’t eat it all myself, I’d OFFER to share it with other people.

I always would offer a bite of pudding//sip of cocktail//chip etc to my dining partner, especially if they didn't order their own.

And there’s the difference @mauvaisereputation. You’re offering. They are not just helping themselves or expecting you to share it.

but when someone’s got a shed load of stuff and you ask first it’s not a big deal surely?

Try thinking of it this way. You have run yourself a lovely hot bath. The house is empty. You've got yourself a nice drink and your book. You're really looking forward to having that bath. Then someone comes in to the bathroom, asks for a couple of sips of wine and if you wouldn't mind being out of the bath in 20 minutes instead of half an hour.

If the other person has no good reason for doing that other than that they don't want to waste a wine glass on pouring themselves just a small portion, say, and they just want you out of the bath earlier because they're bored, then I think you're going to feel a bit pissed off at their selfishness. You've been looking forward to the whole bath from beginning to end, and they have decided that they are more important.

Yup totally unreasonable.

Also giving me flashbacks to MIL not ordering a starter then deciding she was sharing mine.

It was one of my favourite things and I may have looked a bit mental - she tried to take the bit with all the cheese on and I made her stop

But a quiet solitary bath is not the same as a social meal out.

I'm just surprised how many people are of the 'JOEY DOES NOT SHARE FOOD' variety when many of the people I eat with are happy to share sides if it avoids ordering two full portions of chips when people only want a few, for example.

And I'm not sure many people would offer to share, even if they wanted to, given how weird a lot of people seem to be about it on here.

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of the chocolate situation, the fact your mother called you a selfish bitch in front of your DD needs addressing OP.

I live with a type B

Doesn't want chips unless they're mine. Doesn't want dessert unless it's mine. Was late home and to bed last night so i went and bought a sandwich meal deal from the supermarket with a soreen 2 pack as the snack. Ate half a sandwich and 1 slice of soreen

There's an easy solution, you just buy more in anticipation of the inevitable

There's an easy solution, you just buy more in anticipation of the inevitable

Or tell them to stop being such a selfish arsehole. Or better yet tell them where to go. I couldn't live with someone so bloody self centred.

but when someone’s got a shed load of stuff and you ask first it’s not a big deal surely?

It is! It is a big deal! When I go out and pay for a meal, I want all the best chips in the bowl (I bet none of the chip stealers take the hard, small chips. Oh no, they’ll go for the biggest, tastiest looking one they can find), I want the pizzas slices with the most olives, I want the tasty topping on the creme brûlée, I want the freshest strawberry in the salad, but I guarantee the B--ollocks— will head straight for the tastiest bits, while I get the not just as good bits, while they feel virtuous and tell themselves it’s ok, because they only took a wee piece. Fuck off, you selfish, entitled pricks.

There's an easy solution, you just buy more in anticipation of the inevitable

Or don’t pander to them, tell them to stop being such a prick and get their own.

I'm just surprised how many people are of the 'JOEY DOES NOT SHARE FOOD' variety when many of the people I eat with are happy to share sides if it avoids ordering two full portions of chips when people only want a few, for example.

I am always happy to share food, but there is big difference between agreeing to share a side of chips and not ordering some for yourself and just presuming you can eat half of the other persons. Especially if you make a regular habit of doing the latter.

Although sometimes, even when you agree to share a side, there are some people who will eat them at a rate of about 10 to every one that you eat. I will usually refuse to share with people like that ever again.

But a quiet solitary bath is not the same as a social meal out.

The experience of choosing, looking forward to, and then eating a gorgeous dessert you've carefully chosen for yourself, just as person A had the option of doing, is solitary. And while it might not be the end of the world to lose a bit of it, it can definitely spoil it, and it's irritating.

Offering to share is completely different to someone looking at your dessert and thinking to themselves "I have more right to take a bit of that dessert than Barbara does to the experience of enjoying the whole thing, spoonful by delicious spoonful", so I'm going to ask for some, because I know she won't feel she can say no. It absolutely does come across as low level entitlement and selfishness.

Or don’t pander to them, tell them to stop being such a prick and get their own.

She isn't a prick though she just nicks my chips. There's plenty more in the world!

She isn't a prick though she just nicks my chips. There's plenty more in the world!

Exactly, so why choose to be with someone so terminally selfish?

I don't think I'm compatible with this thread

I've never minded sharing. DH is the same; we often share snacks/desserts.

I'll order something and he might say 'I'll just have some of yours if that's okay' and it'd never occur to me to be offended, I really enjoy sharing food.

Had no idea I was such a minority!

I don't think not sharing is unreasonable, obviously; it's your choice.

I ain't read the whole thing but is there a bath stealer mentioned somewhere?

She does that too, and i have to have the tap end

I live with a monster

I don't think I'm compatible with this thread

And people who steal my fucking food aren't compatible with life.