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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want Primark to provide a women only changing room?

366 replies

Amelia1985x · 16/11/2019 15:22

I’m a regular Primark customer and was surprised to go the store yesterday and find all the changing rooms had been redesignated as mixed sex. The shop assistant told me not to worry, because most customers on the ladies’ floor were women, and anyway, she could see down the line of curtained cubicles and would challenge a “dodgy man”. When I questioned her about how she would spot one, she called the Manager as he could explain the policy better.

He told me the world was changing. I asked him why Primark had had sex segregated changing rooms in the first place. No answer. I asked him what specific legislative change or scientific discovery had occurred that made the world different to this time last year. No answer. He said that this arrangement was more inclusive for nonbinary people.

I explained that I didn’t feel that comfortable stripping to my knickers in a mixed area, and he told me I could always use the one disabled cubicle which has a lockable door. Clearly this has been designed for mixed sex use and did have a lock, but obviously I would then be blocking its use for a disabled person. He suggested there was no reason to be concerned. Yet when I think about me and my women friends, all our me-too moments, - of being flashed at, or masturbated at, sexual assaults and rapes – all have been my men.

The manager was unabashed. He said Primark had done research – even though he couldn’t produce it, and there were no leaflets or posters to explain this HUGE policy change to customers. He told me I was the only person who had ever complained.

So I guess this is what I want to know. Am I a dinosaur? Am I being unreasonable to want a women only changing room?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
YourOpinionIsNoted · 16/11/2019 18:22

That's great stuck. But what about the women and girls it does bother?

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 18:22

@CaveMum What about women who are survivors of abuse and find themselves having panic attacks when in close quarters with an unknown make I have sympathy for them. But there are lots of things in society that lots of people can't handle, we cannot structure our world around these unfortunate incidences. or women whose religions forbid them from sharing space with males they are not related to? How do they get through the shop to get to the changing room at all? Not even a curtain between them and the men in the rest of the world.

PeanutButterCheesecake · 16/11/2019 18:24

Fuck Primark and fuck their shit stupid policy is the only acceptable response. Boycotting them is the only way to go.

stucknoue · 16/11/2019 18:24

@Fruityb

All the supermarkets have mixed changing rooms here, it's a non issue.

CaveMum · 16/11/2019 18:25

@Eckhart, no the majority of men are not predators but the majority of predators ARE men. Why do you think women need single sex spaces in the first place?

Assaults on women are far more likely to happen in mixed sex spaces, why is it acceptable to put women and girls at higher risk in order to appease a tiny minority?

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

medium.com/@camradfems/there-is-nothing-progressive-about-removing-women-only-bathrooms-37729064cfb7

Clymene · 16/11/2019 18:25

Would you be happy with your daughter sharing these changing rooms with men? I wouldn't.

To want Primark to provide a women only changing room?
APerkyPumpkin · 16/11/2019 18:26

They need to be caught

Probably best to prevent this rather than rely on them getting caught and prosecuted bearing in mind judges don't seem to think this is even a problem. Why should we create even more victims of male based crime than we already have?

CaveMum · 16/11/2019 18:27

@Eckhart so basically you are saying women should suck it up and just be nice to the poor menz?

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 18:32

@Cavemum No, I didn't say that.

SlightlyJaded · 16/11/2019 18:33

Woke bullshite

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 18:37

@APerkyPumpkin Yes, it's always better to prevent crime, of course. You're right about the judges and I think that that attitude is pervasive and is part of the problem. The predators attack and the victims have no protection. THAT'S the issue that needs sorting out. And I understand that whilst it is not sorted out, women will continue to feel defensive. Which is why I say changing rooms should have lockable doors. Nobody should have to change with just a flimsy curtain (with gaps) between them and a potential attacker.

I don't understand the problem if each cubicle is a room with a lockable door.

peppermintpig74 · 16/11/2019 18:42

Interesting that the manager chose to say “the world is changing”.
When activist Jean Hatchet recently challenged M and S fitting room staff about this exact same policy, one of them used that exact phrase. Perhaps taken from some leaflet/ course paid for by a trans lobby group?

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 18:43

@peppermintpig74 Is this a trans issue?

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 18:44

Maybe if you heard two people say it, it could be true?

hopelesssuitcase · 16/11/2019 18:47

How can it be a trans issue as trans women would be in ladies' changing anyway, no need to make them mixed sex for that.

YouJustDoYou · 16/11/2019 18:48

More sexual and physical assaults happen in mixed sexed changing rooms. But no one gives a shit about protecting women and girls/boys.

YouJustDoYou · 16/11/2019 18:51

Is this a trans issue?

No.its a men love wanking in cubicles where they know women's and girls go/love voyeurism porn. Target in America changed their changing rooms to unisex and the rate of sexual assaults and rape when up immediately. It's a proven fact in every country in the world - where men have access to women and children, the perverted ones will take advantage.

YourOpinionIsNoted · 16/11/2019 18:52

Because "trans" covers a huge number of people now, including the occasional cross dresser or anyone who says they feel like they are a different gender. (See the Stonewall trans umbrella). So a man, dressed as / presenting as a man, would be, according to Stonewall, perfectly within his rights to self identify into the women's changing area. Shops are trying to accommodate this.

MonChatEstMagnifique · 16/11/2019 19:05

Curtains in mixed sex changing rooms are not acceptable. I hate them in single sex cubicles also. Floor to ceiling lockable cubicles would be acceptable to me and I would imagine many more women.

The thing is, I think decent men would also be uncomfortable with curtains in mixed sex cubicles. My partner and son certainly would be. They wouldn't want to be seen by random women and are self aware enough to realise that other women would possibly feel uncomfortable and vunerable in this situation.

Cheshirewife · 16/11/2019 19:31

Really can’t see the problem. I genuinely believe some of the posters here deliberately look to be offended.

MotherAbigail · 16/11/2019 19:44

The world is changing alright - even less people will use the high street and shop online instead. Then all these shops with their stupid woke policies will close because they can’t afford to stay afloat. Oh well.

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 19:46

Yes, @motherabigail. The high street's too dangerous for women, these days, what with all these men around. It was better when the women went shopping on their own, really, while the men did the real work, down the mines.

notnowmaybelater · 16/11/2019 19:54

Regardless of this specific issue, anyone who's response to someone being uncomfortable or worried about something is "I can't see the issue," "I don't understand the problem" or "it's a non issue" is effectively just posting "I have no empathy" aren't they?

Janesmom · 16/11/2019 19:57

Can’t say I’m a primark shopper but I’d be interested to see if there is any objective, quantitative evidence of an increase in risk from mixed changing.

I’d be very surprised, and would feel far more at risk on a quiet street than a busy, staffed, mixed shop changing room.

Personally, I also think it would mean more rooms available so less queuing. Hence, I quite like the idea.

Obviouslynotobvious · 16/11/2019 20:00

Unless I could lock my door no way would I go in there.

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