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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want Primark to provide a women only changing room?

366 replies

Amelia1985x · 16/11/2019 15:22

I’m a regular Primark customer and was surprised to go the store yesterday and find all the changing rooms had been redesignated as mixed sex. The shop assistant told me not to worry, because most customers on the ladies’ floor were women, and anyway, she could see down the line of curtained cubicles and would challenge a “dodgy man”. When I questioned her about how she would spot one, she called the Manager as he could explain the policy better.

He told me the world was changing. I asked him why Primark had had sex segregated changing rooms in the first place. No answer. I asked him what specific legislative change or scientific discovery had occurred that made the world different to this time last year. No answer. He said that this arrangement was more inclusive for nonbinary people.

I explained that I didn’t feel that comfortable stripping to my knickers in a mixed area, and he told me I could always use the one disabled cubicle which has a lockable door. Clearly this has been designed for mixed sex use and did have a lock, but obviously I would then be blocking its use for a disabled person. He suggested there was no reason to be concerned. Yet when I think about me and my women friends, all our me-too moments, - of being flashed at, or masturbated at, sexual assaults and rapes – all have been my men.

The manager was unabashed. He said Primark had done research – even though he couldn’t produce it, and there were no leaflets or posters to explain this HUGE policy change to customers. He told me I was the only person who had ever complained.

So I guess this is what I want to know. Am I a dinosaur? Am I being unreasonable to want a women only changing room?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
helpfulperson · 16/11/2019 17:13

Surely no shop allows anyone to try knickers on and then put them back. Thats revolting.

MepsiPax · 16/11/2019 17:14

What?! It's a COMMUNAL mixed sex changing room?!

sarahjconnor · 16/11/2019 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Siameasy · 16/11/2019 17:26

Yanbu - in my local Primark it’s a curtain ffs. Really stupid idea. It was a shit curtain with big gaping holes at the side.
Now I’m pretty brazen and I actually do feel like wandering around in underwear to make a point and embarrass the men. However, it’s not about me it’s about all women of all ages and experiences. Many have been victims of abuse and are vulnerable. Women must have the choice.

Charley50 · 16/11/2019 17:26

@Uncompromisingwoman - in that article you linked to, the judge said,"'I don't understand why you decided to make them available to anyone on the internet. That's what makes these offences troubling and shocking.'"

Almost sounds as if the judge thinks it's fine to take up-skirting photos for personal use; just don't get caught.

GrumpyHoonMain · 16/11/2019 17:26

Yes found this out today - this policy has prevented my DH from using Primark too. So we travelled to Asda to buy his his shorts today. I imagine Primark will lose a lot of it’s target base customer to this ridiculousness

sweeneytoddsrazor · 16/11/2019 17:30

I never actually thought about this before but I dont recall there being any signs on any changing room I have been in to indicate whether they were mens or ladies. I just assumed that the ones in the relevant sections were the ones people tended to use. Supermarkets tend to have only 1

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 17:31

Lockable cubicles. Why anybody ever thought that curtains were enough is beyond me, regardless of the sex of the customers.
I don't think we need to have separate changing rooms for m/f because some people are predatory. We should be very hot on catching the predators though.

Glenthebattleostrich · 16/11/2019 17:32

So let's organise a coordinated email complaining to these companies and letting them know we won't put up with it.

Next time I need to go shopping I'm taking some leaflets with me ( I'm going to design them) and put them up in some changing areas because this is beyond a joke now.

There are a hell of a lot of people (not just women) who object to this policy.

Glenthebattleostrich · 16/11/2019 17:33

Eckhart, I'd rather not have some perverts wanking over covert camera footage of me in the first place thanks.

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 17:35

@Glenthebattleostrich Me too. I never said anything about cameras. What are you on about?!

ferntwist · 16/11/2019 17:37

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Uncompromisingwoman · 16/11/2019 17:37

This is what all these stores - M & S, John Lewis, Primark etc are enabling:

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/women-spy-cameras-hidden-public-places-peeping-toms-a8689626.html

Clymene · 16/11/2019 17:39

Teenage girls don't want to try things on at home and bring it back if it's no good though.

One of the most joyous memories of my youth was going shopping with my best friend and trying on all sorts of clothes and showing one another to decide what to spend our meagre pocket money on. It was so much fun. I'm so sad for today's teenagers that they won't be able to do that

Uncompromisingwoman · 16/11/2019 17:41

TRIGGER WARNING : upsetting link involving secret filming of woman and suicide. This terrible story demonstrates the extent of the problem for women in South Korea:

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/10/02/south-korean-woman-commits-suicide-doctor-filmed-using-spycam/

EleanorShellstrop100 · 16/11/2019 18:02

I’m SO confused about why everyone on Mumsnet is kicking off about this. Surely everyone still goes into the closed off private compartments don’t they? So how is it any different who is in the closed off private compartment beside you, you don’t see or even really come into contact with them anyway. Ridiculous the way some people are reacting to this imo.

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 18:03

@EleanorShellstrop100 Same.

hopelesssuitcase · 16/11/2019 18:08

Maybe try reading the thread?
I'm glad you have such positive experiences with cubicle curtains as I certainly haven't.
I've never seen a hidden camera but since people have been arrested for that I don't doubt it happens.

hopelesssuitcase · 16/11/2019 18:09

Sorry, men have been arrested not people.

NeedAnExpert · 16/11/2019 18:10

So how is it any different who is in the closed off private compartment beside you, you don’t see or even really come into contact with them anyway

Have you read the thread?!

CaveMum · 16/11/2019 18:10

Good for you @EleanorShellstrop100abd @Eckhart, but just because you are happy to share the space doesn’t mean everyone else has to be.

What about women who are survivors of abuse and find themselves having panic attacks when in close quarters with an unknown make, or women whose religions forbid them from sharing space with males they are not related to?

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 18:11

@NeedAnExpert I've read the thread. How is it different?

Eckhart · 16/11/2019 18:18

@CaveMum If they're behind a locked, floor to ceiling door, and they're in a shop with security, then they are more protected from predators than they are simply walking down the street.
This thing with cameras is concerning, but what should we do? Ban men from everywhere? Are male cleaners allowed in male changing rooms when the shop is closed? Presumably not, because they're predatory, right? And a woman helping her elderly dad buy some trousers? Best not, because he's predatory, right? And the young guy who's going on his first date and wants his sister to help him pick a shirt? He's predatory too, isn't he.
The majority of men are not predators, and predators will predate wherever they are. They need to be caught. All men do not need to be segregated from women because of them.

Uncompromisingwoman · 16/11/2019 18:19

Stores like John Lewis and M & S offer bra fittings. Many women - especially women having bra fittings after mastectomies - do not want their conversations to be overheard by men. Tbh, they don't actually want them to be heard by anyone, but a strange man indulging his fetish in the next changing room is vile. And if you doubt that, take a look at the men all leaving reviews on the M & S website for women's knickers and bras - including teen bras. The idea that businesses no longer offer women privacy from this type of man is vile.

stucknoue · 16/11/2019 18:21

Our branch only has ever had mixed sex, never bothered me tbh

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