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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’m not. I’ve had the bloody shittest news.

110 replies

MustardScreams · 15/11/2019 23:14

I have breast cancer. It started as a lump, but because I was breastfeeding everyone believed it was a blocked duct.
It wasn’t until I told my GP my mum and grandma had both had BC they took me seriously.

When’d they scanned me the tumour was basically taking over my entire nipple.

I’ve had my lumpectomy. I’ve has rads. I’m taking tamoxifen at 30.

I’m about to start chemo (3.5 weeks) and can someone please tell me wtf

OP posts:
macblank · 15/11/2019 23:34

What a shitty bit of news.

I have some empathy, as my fiancee is going through 6 weeks of daily radiotherapy, and 6 weekly chemo, all at the same time.

She's just finished her third week, so only 3 to go!

It started in June when at a dental check up, they found a lump in her throat. Within 4 weeks, she had approx 8 different x-rays, CT scans and MRIs, some with/out a dye.

Were out most weekends, shopping for Christmas decorations n nibbles (I know, it's hard knowing it's in the flat, but can't touch!) and today we got some drinks in mmmmmm.

Last year she was hit with sepsis, and was just starting to enjoy life again. Her Rhumatoid Arthritis (an autoimune disorder) was back to normal levels, and considering if she might go back to work, even if part time. She was fit n healthy before she.met me! lol

Hopefully that is her three things‽

Oh, me? Well I'm disabled with spinal problems (4 collapsed n bulging disc in lower back, trapped nerves, and about the same.in the neck) and achalasia and IBS and a few other things, along with a good three different mental health issues .... Oh the joys 🤪

It's a shit, hopefully after your current treatment, your feet can touch the floor and you can enjoy being a.mum again.

Don't lose hope, and focus on the future 😁

YANBU. unless you just sit there n abandon hope, and say... Poor me.

Pull up ya tights, and deal with this, and aim high. Be.friends with those you see in the hospital (i.mean the patient's you see every visit) as I know the Mrs looks forward to seeing those going through the fight at the same time. She comes home on days I can't go out.... I saw Mrs ??? Today, it's her last week, or Mr ???? he's rung the bell today etc.

If.you aim for the moon, you might miss and hit a star, but if you don't aim high you'll never reach it.

Sohololopopo · 15/11/2019 23:37

Fuck me OP what a fucking bastard. My heart bleeds for you. Chin up and do what you have to do. X

DramaAlpaca · 15/11/2019 23:39

What rubbish news. Wishing you all the best for your treatment. You've got this Flowers

HairyFloppins · 15/11/2019 23:41

So sorry OP. Wishing you all the best for your treatment. Life is shit at times.

ezbem · 15/11/2019 23:42

Didn't want to read, feel sad and run.

I'm sorry OP. Get through one day at a time, and I hope everything runs smooth for you. I'm sorry again.

FungusTheToegyman · 15/11/2019 23:42

I'm so sorry, sending you a lot of positive thoughts

I’m not. I’ve had the bloody shittest news.
MsTSwift · 15/11/2019 23:44

I do hope it works out many women with this diagnosis live long and happy lives x

CheshireDing · 15/11/2019 23:46

That's shit OP Flowers

I have 2 friends who were in their late 40's when they were both diagnosed with breast cancer, both had chemo and both carried on working whilst they were having treatment too, bloody amazing women.

Both of them beat the shit out of cancer.

Thinking of you.

HitthefloorforTaintedLove · 15/11/2019 23:48

Oh Mustard that is shitty news indeed, so sorry.
Sending strength to get through your treatment.
I don't have any practical info but some of this lovely bunch might. Flowers

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/3697698-Cancer-support-thread-72-come-in-were-here-for-you

If the link doesn't work it's in Talk >Health> General Health

DCICarolJordan · 15/11/2019 23:49

OP, hugs to you. I was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma when my first baby was 8 months old. It’s fucking awful, there’s just no two ways about it.
Hold your little one tight - there is no better motivator to get you through this. I still consider having to stop breastfeeding one of the worst parts of the whole experience.
Best advice while going through chemo - you want to avoid secondary infections as much as you can. The mouth is a particularly vulnerable area. I followed the instructions to the letter and managed to avoid any infections throughout my six month course.
Best of luck to you - Go kick cancers arse!

Passthecherrycoke · 15/11/2019 23:49

Oh love. What a shitter Flowers

fanniboz · 15/11/2019 23:51

So so sorry, what utterly shit news. Cancer is an absolute bastard. Come post here if and when you need to throughout your journey - we'll all be here to listen ThanksCakeGinWine

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/11/2019 23:53

Mustard, I’m so sorry. Flowers.
I’m also very very angry that it took you to explain that both your mum and nan had this cruel illness before they took you seriously. Every lump regardless of family history should be treated as bad news until proven otherwise.

BigChocFrenzy · 15/11/2019 23:59

I'm so sorry you are going through this, Mustard
Wishing you a full and speedy recovery 💐

Bastard cancer should fuck off.

Daffodil55 · 16/11/2019 00:00

I just read this and can only echo what all the other messages say. It is the news everyone hopes will not come their way and we hope we are not included in those **ing stats but it is so true that almost everyone is affected by the c in some way at some time.

I don't know the OP but she has an army of friends right here as well as her own family and people close to her.

X

Interestedwoman · 16/11/2019 00:06

So sorry to hear that. :( Love to you @MustardScreams . Do all of it obviously, but maybe it'd help to think with the lump removal god willing the tumour is gone- all the rest that you're doing now is an (all important) precaution xxx Just a few weeks, then all you have to do is let yourself recover xxx

TwoBoxers · 16/11/2019 00:07

@MustardScreams
There is a thread over on the health board, it's called The Calm Before the Storm. Many, many women supporting each other through shit times.
I'm just wishing you well for your future Flowers

JimPickens · 16/11/2019 00:08

It's fucking shit. I've had two aunts with breast cancer and they're both out the other side, cancer-free and living their lives. I hope with all I have that you'll be the same. Cancer is a bastard. I'm so sorry Flowers

Nippybutsweet · 16/11/2019 00:08

Wishing you a fast and full recovery and a very long happy healthy life Flowers

prawnsword · 16/11/2019 00:10

I’m sorry, hope you’re feeling ok xox

RightyWrongy · 16/11/2019 00:10

I’m so sorry to hear this! If it helps you, keep us all updated in your journey we are all here to support you x

BitOfFun · 16/11/2019 00:10

At least 90% of breast cancers are not hereditary, so I'm sorry your concerns weren't taken seriously- they should have been!

I understand exactly how much of a body blow this is- I'm a year post-diagnosis now, and I still haven't really wrapped my head around it. Have you been told what stage and grade you have, or what sub-type it is? This may sound glib, but the fact they are throwing everything at it is a good sign: it means there's a decent chance you will make a full recovery. If it has progressed to the metastatic stage, they'd don't necessarily do that, as in my case, because it can't be cured.

Come over to our support thread in General Health and you will find lots of understanding and advice.

It does feel terribly unfair, I get it, and you will sometimes want to rage at the heavens. Basically, there is no wrong way to react! There are posters on that thread who will absolutely support you throughout the whole shitshow Flowers.

OnePotato2Potato · 16/11/2019 00:11

So sorry. I pray that you have a full and speedy recovery.

AlunWynsKnee · 16/11/2019 00:19

Yes that's shit Flowers
My SIL had aggressive bc at 30 but she's still here 20+ years later. I hope you have that outcome.

PerkingFaintly · 16/11/2019 00:31

Ah I'm so sorry to hear that. Lots and lots of good luck with treatment.